read your Bible

 

I’m being reminded recently of just how important it is to daily be in the Word.

If we want to grow in our relationship with Christ…
If we want to gain more knowledge of the Bible…
If we want to be able to remember the things of God…
If we want to be more godly…
If we want to encourage people…
If we want to believe in truth, in ourselves, in others….
If we want more faith, trust, fruit…
If we want to know how to pray…
If we want strength…
If we want perspective…
If we want to understand…
If we want anything….

The Living Word of God is the place to go. When we are not in the word, our perspective suffers, our attitude suffers, our prayer life suffers, our relationships suffer, life seems harder, trials seem innumerable and hard to persevere…

God is faithful to us, even amidst all of our sinfulness…so why don’t we live like we love Him, and be faithful to Him and read His Word and spend time with Him.

and all that we want more of, we will have. because we will be living in Him.

 

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
Matthew 6:33

Be Thou My Vision

 

I write this, because this is my prayer, my plea for all believers, and this is my struggle. And I think it is relevant to all of us.

We view people through our own eyes, 99% of the time. But really, 100% of the time, we should be viewing people through the eyes of Christ.

I love fiction novels. And my favorite fiction author is Ted DekKer. And I am currently re-reading his trilogy(now its a quadrolgy…?!) The Circle Series. It is to confusing for me to explain all that is going on, but as I was reading the other day, I was reminded of a great biblical truth, of the bride of Christ and how we should look at people. So i wanted to share a part of the book with you.

A few things; Thomas of Hunter is the leader of the Circle and is trying to woo Chelise, a scab princess who is of a different tribe (the Horde). A tribe who has rejected the way of the Circle (Justin’s follower’s). Typically, the scabs repulse all others unlike them. They smell terrible, and have scales on their skin and are pasty white and have red eyes.
And Justin, represents Jesus in this story.

Thomas has just left Chelise on her own because she is not recriprocating his love and he does not know what to do so he runs away, only to meet Justin (who does not show himself often anymore). so this is where we begin..

“Justin glanced back toward the boulders that hid the camp. ‘You left her.’
’I…’ Thomas didn’t know what to say. Why has he now seen Justin twice in one week? Any why was Justin so interested in Chelise? Justin faced him, green eyes flashing with anger. ‘How dare you leave her alone! Do you have any idea who she is? I entrusted her to you.’
’She’s Chelise, daughter of Qurong. I didn’t know that you’d entrusted her to me.’
’She’s the one my father prepared for me! You’ve left my bride to sob in the sand!’ Justin took severeal paces toward the camp, then turned back, head now in his hands.
Thomas wasn’t sure what to make of this display.
Justin lowered his hands. ‘I told you myself, I would show you my heart. I send you Michal when you began to doubt, and already you’re forgetting. do I need to show myself to you every day?’
Justin pointed toward the camp. ‘You shoudl be kissing her feet, not running away.’
’I don’t understand, she is only one woman—‘
’No! She’s the one I’ve chosen to show the Circle my love for them. Through you.’
Thomas sank to his knees, horrified by what he was hearing. ‘I swear I didn’t know. I swear I will love her. forgive me. please forgive me. I…’
"’Please, hurry,’ Justin said. The moonlight showed tears in his eyes. ‘Her heart is breaking. You have to help her understand. Don’t think I am the only one who wants her. My enemy will not rest.’
….

I wish i could just write the whole chapter in here, or that all of you could just read it. But it is completely the gospel story, and such a great reminder. That we are all the bride of Christ. There is an enemy, who is fighting for the soul’s of others. How are we viewing other people? How are treating the one’s God has entrusted to us?! It does not matter what they look like, where they come from, how annoying they may be, they are a part of the bride of Christ. God has chosen them. Entrusted them to us for the time being. No matter how big or how small of a role you play in their life, you do play a role, and you better take that role seriously.

We need to love with the love of Christ. We need our hearts and eyes opened, to see through Christ’s love, and not our own selfishness.

We see people as scabs (ugly, selfish, hopeless, stinky)…but Christ see’s everyone as His bride.

 

“Everyone needs compassion. A love that’s never failing…My God is mighty to save…”

Open the eyes of my heart LORD…and Be thou My Vision, O Lord of my heart.

flourish.

A thought I had this morning during my prayer time...

What or Who, makes you thrive?! By thrive, i mean to flourish, to grow...

I believe that God gives us people who naturally bring out the best in us, who we are more comfortable around and just seem to be more ourselves with. I do not think this is a bad thing at all.
What i do think though, is that sometimes we can find our identity in how people make us feel. So I go back to my question then...who are we thriving in?!
are we thriving in other people, or thriving in Christ?!

When we learn who we are in Christ, and start walking in that, we thrive. And through that, it shouldn't matter who you around...you should still be your thriving self, becasue your identity is in Christ and not in people.

Pride

As much as I never thought I was, or like to admit...I really am a prideful person. I am a prideful person full of insecurity and fear. (explain that one!)
Pride is rooted in us all. it just has many different facades.
It is okay to admit that your wrong, and esp for me...it is okay to mess up. and especially to mess up in front of people. I care to much what people will think, even though I know for the most part, people really do not care.

I have been reading through John, and there is one part where the Pharisee's and Jews pick up stones to stone Jesus..and he flee's becasue it is not yet His time...well, later on, Jesus gets word that his dear friend Lazarus is ill, and after a couple days, He decides to go see Laz, which means...going back to the place where they wanted to stone Him.
and Jesus says,
"...are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. But if anyone walks in the night, he stumbles because the light is not in him." (John 11:8-10)
in the psalms it talks about what can mere man do to us? so many of us live with this fear of man...and my thought process has been basically, if Jesus was willing and unfearful of going back to the place where people wanted to stone him, it shouldn't matter if i think people will "stone" me or not...my pride should not get the best of me. no matter what facade it is showing...whether that is the facade of fear, inward pride, or an arrogant pride...

the goal of this blog...
is to realize, its okay to mess up in front of people. it's okay to admit your wrongs. it's okay to be weak. people really are not as bad or as judgmental as we play them out to be soemtimes. and really, what does it matter?! I am serving Jesus, not man. I should not be fearful of being 'stoned' (figuratively speaking), becasue I walk IN the light, and my pride and insecurity and fear should not get the best of me in those times.


The two things I want rid of in people...is pride, and selfishness. One day....when sin is no more! :)
and so Lord, please come quickly!

Purpose

Do we think about our purpose, each day?

If we were just living our lives, daily, like we noramlly do, doing the normal things we do, our routine, and Jesus came to the door and walked in....what would He find you doing? Would it be pleasing to Him?

Is what we spend our time doing drawing us closer to Him? Is it helping us fulfill our purpose for that day? Is it furthering the Kingdom of God?

What are we believing our purpose for each day is?!


Jesus completely understood His purpose. He lived according to what He knew and believed His purpose was as well. You read in scripture numerous accounts of where things happen according to the prophecy spoken of Him, and of what He said and did because He knew His purpose...
The will of God always prospers, do we not realize this?!
And Jesus followed with utter obedience. Even in the anguish, and pain...
All we need, the example we need is IN Jesus. Are we learning from Him? Are we seeing what God has for us each day?

"Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour? But for this purpose I have come to this hour. Father glorify your name." John 12:27-28

oh pride and insecurity.

Never have the attitude that you are better than someone, or think that you need to be/should be better than anyone. If someone is better than you at something, or even overceeds your talent through their own working it out/practice, IT IS OKAY. There will always be someone who is better than you. Let that motivate you to only work harder. God has gifted you and them. We shouldn't care about having one up on someone; that's just PRIDE and finding your value in people.
Ask God to make you humble, and encourage those with your like talent no matter if they are better than you or not.

The Kingdom of God is not about competition with each other, but about serving God alongside each other.
FOR HIS NAME'S SAKE

Our value and acceptance and goodness is all found in Him. Jesus Christ. He has a purpsoe and plan and good works that have been prepared in advance for us to do for all of us. God loves us all the same. So believe and find your worth in Christ and stop comparing and competing. There are greater things to use your time for.

Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming

I love music, and I love worship. and I am really grateful right now that I am being pushed and challenged in these areas to get better and to grow.

People tell me I have a great singing voice, and I can sing, yes. But the reality is, there is always going to be room to grow, and something to work on, vocally, musically, and this even goes with all things...physically, spiritually and emotionally!

growing and being challenged is hard, but it is great at the same time. I am the kind of person, who just continually needs to be pushed. and i need to learn how to push myself when no one is there to push me. I need to learn to persevere, even when all I want to do is stop. and this goes in more areas than just working on my music and singing skills.


Things in life should never stay easy for us. It is good to try things that we have no clue how to do, or even think that we can't do. This is charachter building. We should never stay complacent where we're at, in our spiritual life, our walk with Christ, our own lives, our relationships, and our gifts and talents...never get complacent in them. We should always be striving for excellency in Christ, FOR Christ. To please Him, because He is worthy, not for approval of ourselves or anything like that...but just becaues we love Him, because He first loved us.
We shoudl always be being challenged and allowing God to stretch us and to mold us, FOR HIS NAME'S SAKE and for our sanctification.


"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

All I Am

I got Phil Wickham's new cd, and I am thoroughly enjoying it now that my cd player in my car is actually working! yippee! and this is probably my favorite song right now, and i think it just kinda goes with my last post and where my thoughts have been a lot recently. The song is called "All I Am" and these are the lyrics!



Take these hands
I know they're empty
But with You they can
Be used for beauty
In Your perfect plan
All I am is Yours

Take these feet
I know they stumble
But You use the weak
You use the humble
So please use me
All I am is Yours

I give You all my life
I'm letting it go
A living sacrifice
No longer my own
All I am is Yours
All I am is Yours

Take this heart
Set it on fire
Shining in the dark
I wanna tell the world of who You are
All I am is Yours

I give You all my life
I'm letting it go
A living sacrifice
No longer my own
All I am is Yours
All I am is Yours

I give You everything
To You I belong
Every beat of my heart
The breath in my lungs
All I am is Yours
All I am is Yours

I lift my hands up
God I surrender
All that I am for Your glory, Your honor, Your fame

I life my hands up
God I surrender to You

I give You all my life
I'm letting it go
A living sacrifice
No longer my own
All I am is Yours
All I am is Yours

I give You everything
To You I belong
Every beat of my heart
The breath in my lungs
All I am is Yours
All I am is Yours

sanctification

Lately, the reality that I have absolutely nothing to offer Christ...is really leaving me in a broken state. But right after that state comes the realization of God's amazing grace.
Christ gave absolutely everything, and how much do we give Him?!
we are to give ourselves as a LIVING sacrifice...daily dieing to ourselves and taking up our own cross.

my eyes are being opened to the utter selfishness in human beings, particularly myself. and this realization is making me hate selfishness so much more. It causes so much hurt and destroys people and destroys the glory of God. Yet we are all guilty of being selfish. And this will probably be a sin we will forever struggle with, but my prayer is that we may actually be stripped from selfish thinking and really learn how to put Jesus and other's before ourselves, before our own thoughts and desires. and to make our lives completely not about us, because we are not here to please ourselves, but to please our Loving, Holy Father above.

I think we also forget, in that Christ has given us everything and sacrificed everything for us (among many...He became a man...limiting His Godly attributes, He died the most the brutal death, He was beaten, He was misunderstood, He has given us His Holy Spirit and made a way for us to be with the Father, He has made us righteous...), He also demands a lot from us. Which is only right.
I think in the Western World, we so often (whether we realize it or not) take the words of Jesus, and commands, and somehow think that they are a choice for us to make...We think that what Jesus has commanded, is our own choice whether we act like or what He says. But the reality of it is...we have no choice in the matter of how we, who have accepted Christ as our Savior, live our lives. Jesus tells us how we are to live all throughout the New Testament. and His commands given, are just that...COMMANDS! (to demand, to order authoritively)

Obedience pleases our God.

So I ask the question, what are we giving to God?!
I have recently fallen in love with a couple songs...one is The Stand by Hillsong, and my favorite line in it is
"So what can I say, what can I do? But offer this heart O God completely to you."
Jesus deserves our whole heart. When the weight of all that Jesus has done and given for/to us realy resonates in our hearts and not just our minds, that is when we truly will be changed from the inside out and surrender all we are. and this is an on-going surrender.

what are we doing?

 

Do we realize how blessed we are?

This morning I have been reading my compassion international magazine. and im being reminded of how many privelages so many of us have, and yes God loves us, and in fact a lot of us are spoiled in Christ but are we grateful? and what are we doing  with all that God has given us, are we hording it or giving it back? and what are we doing about poverty?

Do we realize what the children we sponsor actually go through in a day, what they live like?!

We complain about getting up early, when some people in oppressed countries would die to be able to get up and have the freedom to read their bible. We complain that we have nothing to eat when our fridge and pantry is full. We complain about our living conditions, when there are people who live in a garbage dump.

the Old testament tells us numerous times to take care of the poor. the farmers were told to not take all of their crop, but to leave some behind for the poor to glean from. and James tells us religion that is pure and holy is to visit orphans and widows int heir affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world….
          i have to ask the question…are we really unstained from the world?!

here are some hard facts to take in:
naerly 2 million children worldwide are forced into the sex trade each year.

250,000-500,000 children live as prostitutes in Brazil (alone). Some sources place this number as high as 2 million.

40,000 annual birthds in Thailand go unregistered. Without a birth certificate, these children are denied health care and education, and are more vulnerable to exploitation and abuse.

1 in 5 women worldwide becomes a victim of rape or attempted rape in her lifetime.

 

http://youtu.be/EmZFVcONf2w

The least we can do is pray.

community

 

I was also reading, one of my favorite chapters in the Bible.

Colossians 3:16
”Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.”

I’ve read this verse loads of times, cuz it’s part of my favorite passage, but for some reason this morning, this one thought just stuck out to me.
      we are all, always teaching someone whether with our lives, our words, our actions…in someway we are always teaching…and vice verse…we are always being taught. and the majority of time, we don’t even realize it.

and i am one, who at times…can be quite stubborn and get an attitude of "’this person can’t tell me what to do…they dont have authority over me…’ but I was reminded that…

“i am not better than anyone.” and that goes for all of us. we are all wretched sinners. gloriously saved and made alive by the grace and mercy and love of God. We can learn from all people, and we are always teaching something. Good and bad.

but the bible tells us to teach one another, as we are dwelling in the word of Christ and to admonish (or to counsel, or reprove) one another in the same way…in wisdom, in songs…all with a GRATEFUL HEART.
 

my attitude, is the wrong attitude a lot of the time. I need to be willing to learn and to take counsel from people. I do believe though, there needs to be respect in it though, you can’t just go up to anyone and tell them they are wrong or teach them a certain thing…we are also called to respect and love one another…

it says that the word of Christ needs to be in us as we teach and admonish…in all wisdom…

 

So i was just reminded today to be more open and to check my attitude.

Mirrors

 

so i was reading my bible this morning, and just felt like sharing a few thoughts that ran thru my head and a couple verses.

James 1:22-25
”But be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perserveres, being no hearer, who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.”

I’ve heard it said that the Word of God (the bible) acts as our mirror. For our Spiritual life, and our charachter our mirror is God’s Word. Yet as this verse says, how often do we read the Word, walk away, and completely forget what we read, or what Christ has said about us and our identity….

I know that I do this, all to often. i did it this morning as we were reading it…I forgot who I was in Christ, even as I was reading and being challenged by this passage. we need to apply the words of God to who we are, we need to compare our charachter to what Christ says about who we are in Him, our new life. We need to not just walk away from our mirror forgetting who we are. but walk away remembering who we are, and perservereing in that.

We need to not just hear who we are, but act and live in who we are!

You Are God.

 

i love the song Forever Reign. and my favorite line from the song is:

“You are God. You are God. of all else I’m letting go.”

As i was praying and thinking this morning, I just started questioning, do we really live that out?! Do we really believe that God is God, and that He will BE or IS God in our lives. and do we really let everything that hinders us go. Do we let all the things go that we like to have control of…

do we let our own will’s go, our own desires, our own wants, our worries, our fears…etc. the list could go on.

 

Do we truly believe and live that God is God, and of all else, we let go?!

The church, is the body.

 

“For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ…For the body does not consist of one member but of many….But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts yet one body.”
  (parts of 1 Corinthians 12)

Last night at church, instead of worship practice we just had a time of prayer for the church, and for the worship team, and the many different ministries of the church. We had our own individual time of prayer, and it was great. While I was praying, I was just reminded that we are the body. The church is the body of Christ. and this passage from 1 corinthians popped in my head, cuz in the body, there are so many different parts…in the church there are or can be so many different ministries. Yet all to often, you see them operating as something separate from the church, or on their own. But they really should operate, as the body of Christ, all minstries shoudl operate as if they need each other…they need all the other ministries to work together to make up the church, and the body. They are all just as important as another, and just as much needed.

I just wish and hope and pray that the church starts living that way, and that we see the importance of the body working together as ONE.

 

“But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way “

more about Jesus

 

We need a constant reminder that we are to die to ourselves daily.

I’ve been noticing lately how self focused we really are. I see it in reading the Old Testament. I see it in conversations with people. We always turn things to ourselves and make it about ourselves. I have also been thinking about idols of the heart, since i heard Don and Travis both speak on that topic the other week.

And it really bothers me. Why, after we know what all Christ has done and is doing and will do for us, do we seem to still make it all about ourselves….(i do realize there is sin in our lives…being the reason) but do we really try to stop ourselves when we notice we are making life and situations all about us, or do we just keep going with it?

Romans 12:1 says to give ourselves as a living sacrifice which is our reasonable act of service. and i absolutely love that. because our lives…of complete sacrfice…..us dieing to ourselves…us not living or making things about us, is REASONABLE for us to give to Christ. (and elsewhere) mention about dieing to ourselves.

2 Corinthians 4 draws us to it i believe…and its mentioned in the gospels(i think thats where), about how we need to die to ourselves daily…and take up our cross.

John 15 tells us to abide in the vine, which is Christ Himself. Are we abiding? When we are abiding…we should be consumed in Christ and not consumed with ourselves.

I don’t really know what else to say. but I just felt like sharing this. and getting it out. My prayer is that we are constantly asking God to make us aware and that we find ways to remind ourselves to stop making everything about us. and to speak with less I’s and Me’s. and with more of God and Him….

crushed

Dealing with teenagers, especially teenage girls, you can come to create opinions quite quickly on certain subjects; from your own experience and from jsut talking with teenagers.

I have created a strong opinion on crushes. and i just want to let it out. ha

We’ve all had those crushes, some of us probably still do. But you know when you like someone, and you can’t stop thinking about them, you may daydream about them, you get excited everytime you know you will get to see them, you make things up in your head whether they were looking at u, or are thinking about you….etc….

how do i put this lightly…but in my opinion, this is a load of poop. I don’t understand why girls, put themselves through all that emotional turmoil. Crushes 99% of the time, end up in you being crushed. so why do girls (and maybe guys, i dont know the mind of a guy, obviously), get so worked up over some guy, or multiple guys, 1…when you’ve probably never talked to them, 2…when you barely know them and 3….when in reality, nothing will probably happen.

I realize I sound like a complete lonely, crabby old woman. hah this I am not. I would actually quite like to feel in love at the current moment, but tis not my time. What I do think though, is that girl’s long for these feelings, there is something about it that makes us feel good…this i cannot explain. But I think that it is all in our heads the majority of times. We can completely control how emotionally involved we get in a crush….we can choose whether to daydream or not about someone we find attractive. and I think it is unhealthy to do this and get all worked up over specific guys.

I believe girls only are hurting themselves in the end. When they could be saving their hearts and emotions for real feelings when the right guy comes along, when they are in the right place with God.

it’s called a crush for a reason.

so my plea, and prayer, is that girl’s are more careful and mindfully aware of how and how much you think about guys. try to stay away from having crushes and making them more than they are. think of Jesus more. Think of Him more than you think or dream about these guys, these crushes of yours, and give Jesus your heart before you even think about giving even a piece of your heart to anyone else. Because when you are constantly thinking about someone, and putting so much of your emotions in what they do and how you respond to their actions…you are giving them a piece of your heart, without them even knowing it. and that is not okay. Let Jesus protect your heart from being crushed. for You are precious in the sight of Jesus. Forever.

Because You delight in me

 

Because You delight in me LORD

I am beautiful.
I have joy.
I am made righteous.
I am set apart.
I have worth and value.
I have someone to live for, someone to please.
I am not alone.
I am kept in Your mighty arms.
I have a reason to act and to stand.
I need not worry nor fear.
I have a protector.
I have a best friend.
I am alive.
I have love and know love.
…

Obedience

 

As i was reading my  bible this morning, what I was reading was making way to much sense to me, that I figured I should share it because i think it just speaks loud and clear to basically all believer’s.

Numbers 22 is where most of this is coming from…it is the story of Balaam (where his donkey talks to him…). I am finding this story so completely interesting. But what I find most interesting….

(I suggest you read this story…and compare it to what I say, and see if you can see it too.)

*How often does God tell us what He wants when we inquire of Him, and then when the same inquiry comes up, we seem to inquire to God again…hoping for a different response becasue we didn’t like the original….We hope for another response that will allow us to do what we want to do, whether we realize this or not (that can be the problem at times…)
So some time may go on, may be short, may be long….and we keep inquiring of the same thing…then God sees our stubborn selfishness, and allows what our hearts wanted in the first place…BUT….God becomes displeased. Because we are being disobedient.
Often we use God’s wait…or God’s allowment as an excuse that what we are doing…is okay. When really, it may not be okay. Was it what God has told us in the first place? Probably not…so what makes what we do most of the time okay then?

Then come the consequences…which we don’t like. And we wonder why things seem harder, why God seems further away than normal, why things aren’t working out as they should, why we aren’t joyful….simply answer…DUH. we are doing our own thing….we are not doing what God’s original answer was to us.

The dangerous part in this is that at times, it doesn’t seem like we are doing anything wrong, cuz to us….God gave the a okay! But did He really? Were we really listening?

Too often we know the answer……but we still want it our way….so we disobey. is really all this is. and that is why in Numbers 22, when Balaam went with the King’s men, and God became angry and the angel of the LORD stood in His way (which is a warning sign to us…we get those often), he was really being disobedient. God has made up His mind…He originally told Balaam to not go with them…but Balaam let them stay and waiting it out to see if God would say anything else.

You see it again in chapter 24 i believe in Balak…the King…He wants Israel to be cursed…but Balaam repteatedly says he cannot curse them because God has blessed them and he cannot go against that….yet Balak does not give up…He keeps pushing for His way…becasue He is fearful and knows he cannot win against Israel. How often are we even like that too…God makes Himself perfectly clear….yet we still push…for our way.

 

God is Holy. God is Sovereign. God is good. God desires obedience in His people. He deserves obedience. His word and desires are way beyond ours. Who’s are you fighting for?

 

“but if it is of God, you cannot overthrow it—lest you even be found to fight against God.”
Acts 5:39

Trust God with your whole heart, for all things!

Alaska is a special place. I'm not sure whether it's the amazing scenery, or whether it's the people from all over that you meet...but God is there. He is everywhere. But for some reason, Alaska is just special.

I have just been reminded, that God is completely trustworthy.
So often I find myself worrying or concerned about whether I can do things financially, or how little money I have, or with things in the ministry as well...but God's Provision in my life, is a huge testimony. And i always seem to forget this...that God will always provide, He always has, and that will never change. and I have every reason to completely trust Him and to not worry, one single bit. When I am in need, He supplies all my needs. And not just physically, but spiritually and emotionally as well. He refreshes. He is enough.

Psalm 104. Talks bout God's mightyness, but as well how He has provided for all the beasts, and for man and for His creation. He is the Creator. He has provided land for the water to run, for the beasts to drink and grass to eat and fields to cultivate for man and to work. Everything seeks their food from Him. Are we seeking our needs from Him or are we worrying and trying to do it on our own? The Bible tells us numerous times, to not worry about anything. and yet so many of us, do it the majority of our days. GOD IS FAITHFUL! and TRUSTWORTHY!

If He provides for the animals, birds...He will provide for us. Because He is long-suffering, He is merciful, He is gracious, He is faithful, He is full of love towards us. So trust Him. and do not worry.

Who's side are you on? Your side, or God's?!

Commitment

bearing with others…also means being commited to them.

as one who has always seemed to have an issue with commitment…i have been challenged even mentally to stand by to what and who I have committed to.

Commitment means, no matter the cost, you stand by who and what you have committed to.

Hold Your Head Up High

“Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.” Hebrews 12:12-13

I hate any kind of exercise. Even the simplest thing as walking…is a trial for me. But last week, I felt motivated twice. Got up purposely to go on about a 3 mile walk. I must walk funny, or not right, becaue I am always in pain when I walk. My shins and my feet hurt when I walk. So I start my walks out, quite frustrated and angry and in pain. Asking God to take the pain away. hah But by the end of the walk, I am feeling great. (which probably should make it all worth it!)

During one of these walks, I noticed that I tend to walk with my head hung low. I watch the road and my feet. I don’t look ahead, or hold my head up. But by the end of the walk, im looking ahead and my head is up. I feel like we can relate this spiritually as well.

I think when we are in those moments of life where life hurts…its hard, we are struggling, we are in pain…we tend to really hang our head….and when life is good, or we are really trusting in the LORD and confident in Him, our heads are definately held high.

WE HAVE NO REASON TO HANG OUR HEADS.
as children of God, we should always be looking up. No matter what pain or struggle we are in, we never have a reason to look down or to hang our heads.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so cloesly, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endure the cross, despising the sahme and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2

Bear With One Another

“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called (how?), with all humility, and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace…” Ephesians 4:1-3

Falling in love with the book of Ephesians. It is so rich, as is the rest of the Word of God. But Eph 4 is my new fav. And the idea of bearing with one another IN LOVE…something has seemed to click and stick with me.

We cannot escape people. No matter how often you may lock yourself away, people will still find you and bother you. It is basically a guarantee. And we will forever be with people. Even in eternity. So, we need to learn to bear.

I use to always think that bearing with one another meant bear with the people who annoy you. we all get annoyed. I have quickly learned, bearing, means so much more than being annoyed.
We need to bear with people, when they have hurt us, when they ARE hurting us, when they are living in sin, in their mistakes, in their hurt, their struggle, their annoyances….etc. Bearing with one another, is showing people love, and grace and mercy no matter what they have done to us, or what they are doing to us at the moment in time. Bearing with one another, has no selfishness in it. It is all selfLESS.
As Christians, I feel we are terrible at bearing with one another in love. and I think the reason is, we forget to look to Christ. We forget how much Christ has bore, and does bear with us.

Ephesians 1:3, we have been blessed with every spiritual blessing. We have everything we need. We have been blessed…with an abundance of grace, mercy, patience, peace, love, kindness, gentleness….so what makes us think that we can get away with not bestowing upon others what has been so bestowed upon us ?!
In the midst of our sin, our mess ups, our failures, our hurt, us hurting others, Jesus bears with us. He bears so much, that he actually died for us.

Surely in honor and to glorify Jesus and what He has done we can bear with others right?!

What it looks like for you, may be different than what bearing looks like for me. I know for me…its not complaining about others. It’s embracing them, and engaging in conversation and prayer. My prayer is that God’s Children will have a heart to bear with each other, and be united.

“…There is one body and on Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call. One Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” Ephesians 4:4-6

a touch of the cry of my heart.

To whoever reads this;

I just ask for prayer. My heart is heavy laden. I want to embrace this new season of life that I am entering into. i want to learn, to grow, and to be more of the woman God has created me to be, confidently. I want to stand strong and not crumble in weakness. I don’t want to feel pitied in certain areas. I want to be joyful. I want to be so much more dependent upon my Father in Heaven in so many ways. I want to feel the love of my Savior for me. I want to find my acceptance and love in Him alone. I want to not be afraid. I want to wear the armor of God. I want to walk in a manner worthy of the calling I have received. I want to build people up. I want to know what my opinions actually are. I want to see followers of Jesus be united and laying ourselves down and being servants to each other and the world. I want to worship with my life, my all. I want to be pleasing to my God. I want to believe. I want to remember. I want to bear with people. I want to follow the Holy Spirit’s leading. I want Jesus to be my everything. I desire confidence. I need to remember.

I need Jesus. I need His love. His fight. His jealousy. His truth. His words. His grace. His mercy. His patience. His confidence. Him.

 

I want to fall more in love with Jesus.

”He is jealous for me…” May your love for me God overwhelm me, please.

Ask and you shall receive.

My heart is heavily burdened. I’ve prayed for my heart to break for what breaks God’s hearts…and I believe my prayer is being answered.

So here is the issue…
God’s children, are a completely unwilling people. We are selfish, self- centered, and in love with our own sin.

Jesus was willing to suffer beyond what we can even imagine…and was willing to DIE a thief’s death for us….yet what are we willing to do for Him?
     We complain about everything…we complain about what we do, where we are, who we not with, what we are not doing, where we aren’t….we are consumed with ourselves and what we want in this life and our desires. and this causes us to be unwilling to do what Christ asks of us no matter how big or how small.
unwillingness is disobedience. and complaining, does not help our case.

Is Jesus not greater to us than the people in our lives? the place we are at? what we desire? our acts of service?…We place idols over Jesus constantly without even realizing. (what are your idols?)Our hearts are unwilling to do, to be, to go, WHATEVER Jesus says, wherever He has us in life…we are unwilling to embrace it and make the most of it and to learn. (because yes, it may be hard and not what we want!)
This breaks the heart of God.
Can we not just embrace God and life no matter what the circumstances? Can we not just choose to enjoy, no matter the cost? Can we not just be willing to do anything, to be anywhere for Jesus? Can we not just make Jesus the King of our hearts, Lord of our lives, and the best thing to us?
After all, He is worthy….yet our lives don’t show that.

Yes, we have great times of worship where our lives may show He is worthy…but what about our daily lives? our thoughts every second? Do they show that Jesus is worthy?

My prayer, is that people don’t just agree with what I am saying…but that breaking the heart of God, breaks yours. That realizing that we are an unwilling people, will not settle well with us, and that all of God’s children, will be moved to action. To learn to be content and to be joyful as long as we have Jesus no matter where we are in life whether we desire to be there or not. no matter what we are doing in life, whether we want to be doing that or not. no matter how big, or how small.
We are here because of, and for God.
May we stop living for ourselves, in sin and start living for You, God, in Your Spirit. In your Love and Grace….

The love of Jesus is one of a kind. It runs deeper and satisfies like no other love can. So why do we not live on His love alone? Why do we complain? Paul tells us not to in Philippians 2.

I trust my God to break the hearts of His children, and to bring us to our knees. To realize its not about us, and to change. To stop living in sin, and live in Him. For He has done great things for us, and will do great things in us. When we are obedient.

May our hearts be willing God, to serve you, no matter the cost to us. Because You were willing, willing to death on a cross for us, Jesus.
  YOU REIGN.

Psalm 62

“My soul finds rest in God alone…” 
    Psalm 62:1

I am really finding this part of verse 1 to be so true and alive to me at the moment.
 

I guess for a while emotionally I have just been up and down, quite a bit for the past 3 weeks or so. It’s been a bit frustrating, and I thought that going away would bring a lot of refreshment and rest for me, but the first few days….were definately not what I was expecting or wanting really. But then one morning, after a bit of prayer, I just woke up ready to take on the world it seemed!

So often we try to find rest and refreshment for our souls from a vacation, water, the beach, sounds, smells, people, conversations, worship, bible reading, television, movies, sleep….etc
      all good things in my opinion! but so often we expect those things, to bring us rest, and to lift us up when really, the only thing that can ever bring us rest is God and God alone. We can find Him in many things, in all these things, but we just need to remember that it is God who gives us rest.

”…Once God has spoken; twice have I heard this: that power belongs to God, and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love. For you will render to a man according to his work.”  Psalm 62:11-12

Refresh Hearts

I was reading Philemon tonight. and thinking about the people who just encourage my heart and who truly have refreshed my heart.

Then I came to the verse where Paul is telling Philemon to receive Onesimus, and that all the wrongs and things he owes to him, to put it to Paul’s account.
  This is very much paints a  great picture of what Christ has done for us. we all have wronged people, we all owe…yet Christ has taken all of those wrongs, and all we owe, all our sin….a sinless man..has taken it all upon Himself and has redeemed us. Put it all to death, and He Himself has risen from Dead…conquered death and we now can have life.

Yet….how often, do we still hold those wrong doings and what people owe us, against them. How often, do we not receive people. This hits me personally as well, for people I care deeply about. But all through the world, CHRISTIANS, seem to be the least receiving of people. myself is included at times unfortunately. My heart cannot handle that anymore. Why can’t we just remember all Christ has done for us, and just receive people. forget their past, forget your bitterness, your fears, your pride and humble yourselves and receive people. Love, as Christ has loved you, because you are not better than anyone else.

Im praying for music…because this touches my heart so much, I want to write a song. cuz people in christian communities, need to stop doing what they’re doing. and let by gones, be by gones.

 

Thank you Lord for what you are doing in hearts…and for humbling us. and working in our lives and drawing us all close to Yourself!


P.S.
   I wonder if Paul purposely wrote things like “confident in your obedience…” and etc…to bring conviction to people. Cuz if Philemon wouldnt have obeyed all that Paul did, how terrible would he have felt, to treat Onesimus as a slave as he once did, rather than putting all his wrongs on Paul’s account…. ?!
  I kinda think he did do it on purpose. and i like that. that’s bold. and sneaky.

Obedience

Anytime I wanna blog, its out of my own personal time with God and its usually like this big long thing I learned from scripture and all that will take me forever to explain.

But right now…there is so much in my head, but one thing sticking out…and it comes from bits of whats all in my head at the moment.

But, Pat Miller came and spoke to us Off The Wallians today, about Isaiah 58, and about being a rebellious people. and Recently, I asked God that if there is anyway in me that I need to work on, to reveal it to me. Cuz i know there is, and im just thinking through a lot at the moment and definately need to just give so much more of myself. but right now what im realizing…is that i am not being faithful, or obedient to the urgings i so often get in my head.

i wonder why financially im lacking trust…and so forth…but it is said that if you are faithful in the small things, God will give you more….responsibility and blessing I believe. Well, its become clear, that its what seems to be so minute, and little that I am not being obedient in. I ignore the little voices in my head that tell me to do something…to go serve…to say something…to do something i don’t necesarrily want to do cuz im just being lazy. i am ignoring those. and until I start being obedient in those little things, I will remain in whatever state it is that I am in, I don’t even know. I want to grow, I want to be a good discipler, a worshiper, all things I am slacking in and need desperate growth, but im not being obedient in the small, so im a bit complacent and lazy.
not good.

So plain and simple. I need to be obedient in the small things. In the simple urgings. It is not about me, or what I want to do in a moment, but about what God is doing to encourage and build His people, His church. Not about me at all, yet so often I live like it is.
Forgive me LORD.

Thank You for YOUR Love, and Mercy, and Faithfulness, even when I lack so much.
Thank You.

“You are good, you are good when there’s nothing good in me….”

check out PSALM 103. My prayer and cry, is to “Bless The LORD, O my soul, with all that is within me…”

Prayer

James 1: 2b
”…you do not have, because you do not ask.”

I was challenged earlier this week to meditate on a few passages that were read on Sunday and preached on, and i am jsut now doing that…but I was reading over a passage in James. and this part of verse 2, stuck out to me.

What am I asking of God? What am i praying for? Are they my own lust and passions, or are they pleasing to God?

So i was thinking about the first question…and what I am entering into the Throne Room of God when I pray…(which im realizing how sucky my prayer life really is, and how so often when we become focused more on ourselves how our prayer life hinders from that deeply).  But so often when i hear this question, my first response is  “i want You, God.” and it just hit me….’duh, I already have Him!” so why am I asking Him, for Him when He has already blessed me with His Holy Spirit!

So I ask again, what am I asking of God? I think weekly the answer to this question can change. But at this moment in time, I want to be confident in Him, in me. I desire confidence, so that He can most glorified and praised in my life, because confidence is a thing i lack quite often. But my heart’s desire is to Prasie God, and bring Him glory, and if I am confident (but not prideful) in His work in and through me, of course He will receive honor and praise!

and of course there are other requests as usual….but i leave you with this question…

Are your prayers/requests to God, genuine, from your heart? Or are you just repeating what you hear other people praying for?

Vulnerability

Vulnerable: ‘capable or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, open to moral attack, criticism…’

Many people are fearful of this word. I would be one of those people. Many people who are fearful of vulnerability, are ones who care too much of other people’s approval. I am one of these people. Many people who are fearful of vulnerability, are people who have insecurity. I am one of these people. Many people who are fearful of vulnerability and never are vulnerable, lack intimate relationships and live in insecurity.

Here is a letter I just wrote to insecurity itself.

“Insecurity I hate you. You make me physically sick. You break deep bonds in my relationships. You make me feel like food shoved down a garbage disposal. I feel worthless and unwanted in your presence. Insecurity you ruin who I really am. You ruin my close friendships. You make me think that it is all my fault. That I can never do anything right.
Insecurity you are a monster. You are deceitful yet powerful. You prey on the bruised and broken. You are full of shame and conceit. you live deep under the roots of anything you can latch onto and rot it until it’s all in pieces and dead.
Insecurity you are evil. I hate you. You ruin everything i have and am.

Insecurity you are unwanted, despised and broken. You think you have power but in the eyes of God you are but a fly under a fly swatter, dead. You try to lie and ruin God’s creation and work but you will not win. Have you not read Revelation? When Jesus returns and reigns and all evil will be thrown away forever. Your included in that evil. You will be destroyed, never to live again. Have you not heard of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross? How He has redeemed and forgiven me from my sins and saved me from an ending like yours? I will not be thrown away like you, or even by you. Because of God who is rich in mercy, I have value, that you envy. I have confidence that you hate. I have power through God’s Holy Spirit that you cannot conquer. I am victorious, which you know nothing of.

You may fool me for a little while, but I know better. I know your fate. My God is greater. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is my pride and joy. My identity. You on the other hand, I choose to ignore….so good bye.'”

 

Trust God and rely upon God.

“I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”  Psalm 91:2

Proclaiming the Goodness of God.

PRAISE THE LORD!

When was the last time you praised the Lord? How often do you praise the Lord?

God can always be praised in our lives, His praise can always be on our lips.

Our lives praise Him when we walk in the gifts and talents He has given us. When we are true to our personality and charachter. When we take care of our bodies. When we love ourselves and those around us. When we are enjoying fellowship with people. When we are spending time with Jesus and in his word and in prayer. when we are singing, dancing, playing skillfully, laughing, smiling, crying. When we sit and listen to a hurting person. When we share His word. When we take time for people. When we bring a smile to someone’s face. When we enjoy His creation (nature and weather)….this list could go on and on…

The point is, God is praised in our lives. All to often we are not conscious of praising God with our lives, with our lips. But we are, and we can.

 

Psalm 145
”I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever.  Every day I will praise you
   and extol your name for ever and ever. 
Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;
   his greatness no one can fathom. 
One generation will commend your works to another;  they will tell of your mighty acts. 
They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,  and I will meditate on your wonderful works. They will tell of the power of your awesome works,  and I will proclaim your great deeds. 
They will celebrate your abundant goodness
   and joyfully sing of your righteousness. 
The LORD is gracious and compassionate,
   slow to anger and rich in love. 
The LORD is good to all;
   he has compassion on all he has made. 
All you have made will praise you, O LORD;
   your saints will extol you.
They will tell of the glory of your kingdom
   and speak of your might, 
so that all men may know of your mighty acts
   and the glorious splendor of your kingdom. 
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
   and your dominion endures through all generations.

   The LORD is faithful to all his promises
   and loving toward all he has made.
The LORD upholds all those who fall
   and lifts up all who are bowed down. 
The eyes of all look to you,
   and you give them their food at the proper time.
You open your hand
   and satisfy the desires of every living thing. 
The LORD is righteous in all his ways
   and loving toward all he has made.
The LORD is near to all who call on him,
   to all who call on him in truth.  He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
   he hears their cry and saves them. 
The LORD watches over all who love him,
   but all the wicked he will destroy.

My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD.
   Let every creature praise his holy name
   for ever and ever. “

 

Psalm 148
”Praise the LORD. Praise the LORD from the heavens,  praise him in the heights above.
Praise him, all his angels,  praise him, all his heavenly hosts.  Praise him, sun and moon,
   praise him, all you shining stars.
Praise him, you highest heavens
   and you waters above the skies. 
Let them praise the name of the LORD,
   for he commanded and they were created. 
He set them in place for ever and ever;
   he gave a decree that will never pass away. 
Praise the LORD from the earth,
   you great sea creatures and all ocean depths, 
lightning and hail, snow and clouds,
   stormy winds that do his bidding, 
you mountains and all hills,
   fruit trees and all cedars,
wild animals and all cattle,
   small creatures and flying birds, 
kings of the earth and all nations,
   you princes and all rulers on earth, 
young men and maidens,
   old men and children.

Let them praise the name of the LORD,
   for his name alone is exalted;
   his splendor is above the earth and the heavens. 
He has raised up for his people a horn(king),
   the praise of all his saints,
   of Israel, the people close to his heart.

   Praise the LORD. “

 

Psalm 150
” Praise the LORD.
   Praise God in his sanctuary;
   praise him in his mighty heavens. 
Praise him for his acts of power;
   praise him for his surpassing greatness. 
Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet,
   praise him with the harp and lyre, 
praise him with tambourine and dancing,
   praise him with the strings and flute, 
praise him with the clash of cymbals,
   praise him with resounding cymbals.

Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.

   Praise the LORD. “

 

God can and should be praised everywhere, at everytime.

Absolutely In Love with Jesus

“…and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.”   Psalm 30:11b-12

I love worship. Plain and simple. It is a lot of my heart. And recently the idea of serving God, loving God, obeying God…etc with a WHOLE HEART has been coming up and impressed upon me.

I have been listening to Starfield in my car this past week and this one song called “Absolutely” just keep speaking to my heart and is where I feel my heart is and has become my PRAYER.

“Lover of my soul, I want to tell you
Only you have all of me
I cannot contain, my adoration
I’m in love so desperately

No one is as lovely as You are
And there is no one else who has my heart

Jesus, You have me completely
Every breath that I breath I am absolutely in love
Jesus, I am Yours forever
All of my surrenders
I am absolutely in love with You

Down upon my knees, I’m lost in worship
Humbled by Your majesty
What is there to say, but how I love You
Thank you for forgiving me

No one is as lovely as You are
And there is no one else who has my heart

Jesus, You have me completely
Every breath that I breathe I am absolutely in love
Jesus, I am Yours forever
All of my surrenders
I am absolutely in love

All I am is Yours
Only Yours”

Walking with People

What does it mean to walk with someone? I don’t mean physically…cause that’s too easy to answer. But I mean in the Christian walk.

I have been thinking this week about where my role is in discipleship. Because honestly, I don’t have words to say very often, I don’t how to respond a lot…etc. But recently I just feel like God is telling me to just walk beside and to walk with the people He has brought into my life.

When I think of walking beside people, my mind goes to the 23rd Psalm.

A psalm of David.
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. 
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters, 
he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
   for his name’s sake. 
Even though I walk
   through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
   for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
   they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows. 
Surely goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
   forever.

 

To me, what I feel is the best way to walk with and beside someone in discipleship,and in life with relationships; is to just be there. to listen. to speak when you know you need to speak. to be honest. to laugh with them. to cry with them. to let them know you care and are there. to PRAY for them and with them. to share your story, your life with them. to challenge them. to go on the same eating plan as them so they are not alone….

It is the little things that matter.

I am one who at times will question whether I am really making a difference, or am really helping someone or am even really being there for them, being a friend…but one thing that I am constantly being reminded of…even when I don’t have words to say or don’t have a clue of how to help someone my heart cares for, PRAYER is enough. BEING there is enough. LISTENING is enough. because I know that, that is and has been enough for me. and I know that God can and will use anything, anyway, and anyone. We just need to TRUST in HIS POWER, and HIS WISDOM, and HIS COMFORT…

What hinders you?

The past couple of months I have been on this kick with the word UNHINDERED. Mostly in a corporate worship setting is where the focus has been on being unhindered. But recently it has hit me, that I cannot be unhindered in corporate worship until I learn to be unhindered in my daily life. From the littlest things leading to the bigger things. There are so many things and areas that hinder me in my everyday life, physically, emotionally and spiritually and they are all connected in some way. My heart’s desire and my prayer is to become unhindered in my life. In my worship…which my worship is my life. And through that, the more my walls will be broken down, and a life of unhindered-ness and of embrace for and in the LORD Jesus Christ will be alive and lived to the fullest. For His glory.

Psalm 34 has become a life (verses) passage for me this past wee while. To me, it is just my heart’s cry in so many areas, as well, as it says all that God is and all He has even done in my own life. So I leave you with Psalm 34.

“I will extol the LORD at all times;
   his praise will always be on my lips. 
My soul will boast in the LORD;
   let the afflicted hear and rejoice. 
Glorify the LORD with me;
   let us exalt his name together.

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
   he delivered me from all my fears. 
Those who look to him are radiant;
   their faces are never covered with shame. 
This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
   he saved him out of all his troubles. 
The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
   and he delivers them.

Taste and see that the LORD is good;
   blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. 
Fear the LORD, you his saints,
   for those who fear him lack nothing. 
The lions may grow weak and hungry,
   but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

Come, my children, listen to me;
   I will teach you the fear of the LORD. 
Whoever of you loves life
   and desires to see many good days, 
keep your tongue from evil
   and your lips from speaking lies. 
Turn from evil and do good;
   seek peace and pursue it.

The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous
   and his ears are attentive to their cry; 
the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
   to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
   he delivers them from all their troubles. 
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
   and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

A righteous man may have many troubles,
   but the LORD delivers him from them all; 
he protects all his bones,
   not one of them will be broken. 
Evil will slay the wicked;
   the foes of the righteous will be condemned. 
The LORD redeems his servants;
   no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.”

When’s the last time you were really alone?

You can get so caught up in busyness and people that you forget what has always been important and a priority to yourself.

The simple act of being alone…something i used to hold onto too much. something God has stretched me in not doing so much of. Something I need as an escape and refresher. Something I had forgotten I needed.
I have fallen so in love with people, and have gotten used to people always being around and been keeping busy that I havent taken undisturbed alone time. Sure I have had my quiet times with the Lord. but the time I am talking about, is escape from all things. just to be by yourself. you and God. where you build that intimacy. where you are free to just cry and not have someone ask what’s wrong. you are free to be frustrated and talk it out with God….etc and not think of all the people around you or who could be looking at you and what they are thinking.

I have forsaken those special intimate times, as simple as they are at times, with my LORD. The One my heart yearns for. I need to fight for these times. Fight for more times of intimate prayer, as I am learning a lot about prayer and how I actually don’t know how to pray for people or for myself and as I feel this is something God is calling me to more.

When you forget what has always been important to you, and is a part of how you communicate with your Creator, it eventually catches up to you and you crash, and insecurities, past failures come creeping in. and you realize, its all because you havent had the intimacy you need.
Where are your priorities? Who is your top priority to spend time with? Who receives the majority of your time? God should be receiving all of my time, and all of my attention. He should receive more of me, than anyone else does. and if He is not, there is a problem, and He will fight for You.

Random:

Don’t live in the past failures and mistakes. Learn and move on. You are forgiven and free. Don’t let present mistakes ruin all that Jesus has done for you.

One of my favorite questions or thoughts right now is this:  “If all Jesus ever did for you was die on the cross and rise again and forgive your sins and set you free…would that be enough for you?”  becasue He has done so much more and continues to do so much more…but would the cross be enough to receive ALL of your devotion and your heart?!

“Ascribe to the LORD the glory due His name…” Psalm 29:2a