Faithfulness

Faithful- to be steady in allegience or affection; loyal; constant. 

           - reliable; trusted; believed.

For the past few years, I have heard people refer to me as a very loyal person. 

Recently, I here and there am being reminded, and seeing how that really is true of myself. I am faithful...faithful to my church. to my family. to my friends. to the people I care about. Faithful to God, and with growing. I don't tend to waver in my allegience to those people and things I trust with everything I am.

Granted, I am not perfect. There are times when I contemplate what it would be like to go elsewhere, do something else. But I am quickly stopped in that way of thinking. Where my heart is, there my thoughts remain. 

I guess I say all of this because, recently I've been in a rut. Worn out, really is just what it all came down to. I believe a part of my struggle with becoming worn-out, is that I never think I am doing enough. Or that what I am doing, should make me tired. I guess you could say I subconsciously believe that I am super-woman. Which I know in fact, I am not. When I am worn-out, I become discontent. And when I am discontent, I focus on my sin, yes, but mostly, I focus on what season of life I am. I try to figure out my life, analyze what's going on and why I struggle with what I am struggling with....etc. But the other day, while at work, I had this amazing revelation. 

         I need to stop focusing on what season I am in, and just be faithful. Walk WITH God. He is Sovereign, so as I am walking with Him, in whatever season of life I am in, His will, will be done. I will be molded and changed more into His image and likeness than I was before. I don't have to analyze it all, or understand it, or KNOW what exactly is happening and what I need to do, because that is constantly changing. The thing I should ALWAYS be doing, is walking WITH God. and Being faithful in what He has given me now. The work. The people. The life. The rest. The busyness. Faithful in it all. Because Jesus gives me all that I NEED, right now, in this moment, with Him.

The Psalms abound with verses of God's faithfulness. The least we can do is honor God's faithfulness, by giving Him our faithfulness.

So will you check your heart, and ask God to make you faithful?

"One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much." Luke 16:10

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

"Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithfulman who can find?" Proverbs 20:6

"A wicked messenger falls into trouble, but a faithful ambassador brings health." Proverbs 13:17

Why are you cast down, o my soul?

As I'm sitting in a coffee shop, waiting to head to my Doctor's appointment, I'm reading Hebrews 10 and praying and thinking about all of our students at Off The Wall. Thinking about that age, and the conversations I've had with some of them over the last few weeks. Thinking about some of the things I've noticed, observed, without even speaking to some of them. 

   Young adults drive me crazy and frustrate me and affect me more than any other age group I think. But I love them with all of my heart. I understand them. I feel for them. I've been there, and basically am there. I know what it's like, and I believe it's such a key age in life to grow and to take Jesus seriously and make some big decisions. They need each other, they need people, they need friends, they need family, they need community, They need the church, they need Jesus, they need discipled, they need love and grace...

     So as I'm praying for individuals, Psalm 42 comes to mind...

1 As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. 

2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? 

3 My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, "Where is your God?" 

4 These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival. 

5 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation 

6 and my God. My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. 

7 Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. 

8 By day the LORD commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. 

9 I say to God, my rock: "Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?" 

10 As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, "Where is your God?" 

11 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. 

My prayer is that their souls pant for God. And that with that desperation for God, they follow Him whenever He takes them. That they learn He is for them, and has great plans and works prepared for them, that they are His and every ounce of who they are is found in Him and no one or anything else. That they learn to hear His voice and listen to Him and follow, walk, in obedience to the one who has saved their souls and is sanctifying them to be more like Christ and has redeemed them. That there is hope, no matter how fearful, how insecure, how broken, how angry, how sinful...there is forgiveness. That there is rejoicing. They have every reason to be joyful and to rejoice in the LORD. That Jesus is the most important relationship, person in their life and that their hearts are pure and always seeking after Him. That they love His words and eat them up for God has written them on our hearts and minds. That they know that the. Holy Spirit has equipped them for everything they need in this life to walk in a manner worthy of the gospel and the calling they have received. 

  And that they don't just know Christ, but believe in Him and the power of His resurreection. That they walk WITH Him and not just beside or behind Him. That they know and BELIEVE and can see that they are loved with an unconditional love. A love that doesn't judge them for their wrongs, but embraces who they are and where they are at. A love that will speak openly and honestly with them and hold them when they are weak and one that walks with them through all seasons of life. 

 "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12 

   

✌️ brethren. 

Come Away with Me

38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house.

39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching.

40 But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me."

41 But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things,

42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."

Luke 10:38-42

The majority of my life, I have been Mary. It has always been easiest for me to just sit at the feet of Jesus. For hours.

It seems that the older I am getting, the more responsibility I am receiving, and with that goes more of my time and focus and energy. Which then means, especially most recently, my hours of time at the feet of Christ, don't happen like they used to. Recently, don't happen often at all if I am being honest. 

It is easy to get caught up in life. Especially when there is so much going on in and around you, in your community of people. I have been reminded in the past couple of weeks of life being non-stop, and many attacks and circumstances arising in my life and in the lives of people I care about deeply, that  idefinately have lost this art of Mary....of sitting at the feet of Jesus. I have been fearful, I have been anxious, I have been insecure, I have been overwhelmed and stressed. All because I have not been trying to take care and deal with life on my own, talking to God along the way, but never taking moments to just stop for even a half hour...just to sit at my precious Savior and Friend's feet. To just be with Him. 

And I'm a quality time person. 

So I encourage whoever is reading this, spend some time with Jesus today. Just you, and Him. Read His words, His life, Worship Him in the way you worship best paint with Him, walk/run with Him, write to Him....just spend time with Him. He is jealous for you. He is with you. Always. Fall in love with Him, all over again. 

I encourage you to watch/listen to this song, it's just on my heart this afternoon, and speaks perfectly to where I'm at, in this moment.

   ✌️ my brethren.

http://youtu.be/9B27Z7hfGRI

Message in a Dream

"Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them.The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, "Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?" This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."" John 8:1-11

The other morning I woke up at about 5:30am, sweated and wide awake because of a dream I had. I'm not going to share my dream, but I just knew, that I had to share the message of my dream.

This summer God has been bringing a lot of things to mind through conversations with other people, and one of those is how in Christianity, we are so quick to judge others. We think that we know what is best for people so often, especially when heavily involved in people's lives. We see people making, what seems to us, really terrible decisions, and sometimes they may be, but we judge them for that and we complain about how this person could make that mistake, or act like that, or do that thing. I am so guilty of this. We all are. 

What I am seeing this kind of thinking and attitude creating, is this attitude of pride. That I am better than you. That I make better decisions than you. I am more spiritual than you. I know what is best, I know what you should do. And sometimes, those things may be true...but it is our attitude behind those thoughts, where the issue lies. Where our sin is. We are so quick to judge others for the way they are living their lives. We are lacking trust in God that says that He knows best, that He is working everything out for the good of those who love Him, that He will deal with injustice, He will deal with other people's sin. 

I currently have the privilege of being in Northern Ireland, with the people I first fell in love with and where ministry life truly started for me. One thing that I am just loving and seeing is how much God truly keeps His children. He doesn't need us. He is more than capable of leading people to Him without us. He's been doing this much longer than we have. All we have to do, is seek Him ourselves, and as we walk with Him, we disciple, lead people to Him, not to ourselves. 

So I ask you, follower of Jesus Christ, brother, sister, read John 8:1-11. Next time you think someone is making a wrong decision, Look at your own sin first. Love them through whatever their life looks like. Speak God words, truth, wisdom, not jealousy, not pride, but have love, grace and mercy. Be fruitful. Be like Jesus. 

Grace and Peace brethren. ❤️

The body of Christ.

Sometimes when I sit and think about our bodies, I become so in AWE of God. It amazes me at how they work together, and all that our bodies are capable of doing and unfortunately all that we limit them to because of pain...

This morning I went on a walk. And as I was walking, and talking with Jesus and praying for people I started thinking about the body. The physical body, but also the spirual body. I've always loved 1 Corinthians 12 where it talks about the body of Christ and all of our parts and how we are to work together, it's always been a passion of mine. 

This past week I've realized, going along with the body of Christ, something that I've grown a passion for. And that's corporate worship. The church. But specifically worshipping (through music) together, and the power that God has on His body for His Kingdom in those times of gathering together for the sole purpose to Praise Him! 

And while on my walk this morning, I was reminded of all of this, and that passage in scripture, and was thinking about our bodies and how they operate. How awesome it is that our whole body works together, to allow my body to move. I can walk, because my brain tells my body what to do, and my body (bones, nerves, muscles) respond! And they respond properly and very well. But then I think of times when people break a bone, or a tendon...where something went wrong between the communication and response time in the body. So, whenever there is a part that is broken...the rest of the body suffers, the rest of the body has to work harder to make up for the broken part. The body also has to allow itself to heal....so the broken part needs to heal...and the rest of the body has to wait, and actually helps the broken part heal but working harder.

   So it is with our spiritual body, corporately. There are many in the body of Christ who are broken and need healing. There are many of us who need to pull more of our weight, and realize that we all have a part to offer and to play in the corporate body of Christ and that when we aren't doing our part, the rest of the body suffers. We are made to work together, to carry each other's burdens, to help each other heal and get better, and to do the work. To respond to what God's Word is telling us, to be obedient to the life that He has called us to, to listen to His words and His truth and walk in them. To walk in a manner worthy of the Gospel. We are the church. The body of Christ. To work together for the Kingdom of God. 

1 Corinthians 12:12-31

"12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.

13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body-Jews or Greeks, slaves or free-and all were made to drink of one Spirit.

14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many.

15 If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body.

16 And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body.

17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell?

18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose.

19 If all were a single member, where would the body be?

20 As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

21 The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you."

22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable,

23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty,

24 which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it,

25 that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.

26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

27 Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

28 And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues.

29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles?

30 Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret?

31 But earnestly desire the higher gifts. And I will show you a still more excellent way. "

Endure. For the sake of Christ, endure the pain, take one step at a time if you need to, be obedient. Be all that the Bible tells you to be. Not for yourself, but for Christ. Who gave up His life, so that you can be saved, redeemed, free. You are found in Him, not in anyone or anything else.  

Sentimental Moment

 I've been (and still am) processing most of my relationships recently. It's been quite interesting, and very emotional for me. Relationships are always changing, and always will be. As you grow up, as you learn what is really important, as you love people more and love yourself more and love Jesus more, and as seasons of life change, you are just always learning, and always evaluating your life. 

Every relationship takes work, takes effort, takes a fight to be kept and well maintained and healthy.

I have learned so much about relationships, through those who have stuck with me over the years. There have been many tears, many fears, many fights, many times of silence, many frustrations...but those relationships, I would give my life for those people in a heartbeat.

Currently, I am in a different season of life than almost all of my best friends. It's tough, and at times Satan throws lies my way....like that I'm pathetic....or that I am a burden to them....but then something great happens...I REMEMBER, that I have been incredibly blessed, with the bestest friends. I have friends who have stuck with me through the good and the bad. Who know how I process and know my crazy side. I have friends who only look out for my good and who care for me and take care of me. I have friends who love me unconditionally, and I know without a shadow of a doubt they will ALWAYS be there, no matter what life brings or what season of life we are all in. I am incredibly blessed. And when I remember these things, the lies go away. Satan is defeated. Because Christ has victory! His love, has overcome. 

So I encourage you all, fight for your friends. Those people who know you so deeply, allow them to love you, and love them back with Christ's love. Build deeper friendships with those Christ has put in your day to day path to walk life with. Be a best friend. It's not always going to feel good, or be enjoyable, but you must endure the hardships of friendship, for it is worth it. Once you come out of the fire, the relationships are only stronger, when rooted and grounded in Christ. It's a beautiful thing to have your heart knitted together with people who share your same love.

Whatever Your doing inside of me, it feels like chaos but somehow there's peace

Sometimes you just have no clue what God is doing with your heart, or even your life.

    Since I went a week without social media, God has been doing something in my heart, and I have no clue what it is. Specific things are just touching my heart more and are challenging my heart and how I live my life and think about things more than normal. My desire for godliness and to be more like Jesus is immensely growing, and my own sin and even just my desire keeps breaking my heart as well.

My heart is longing for so many things all at the same time, and it's quite overwhelming at times. My heart is breaking over things I cannot have at this moment, over my own and this culture's attitude...and a number of other things. 

Yet, as I sit here, on my porch, journaling and talking to God, I can't help but be grateful, even amidst the turmoil, and frustration and heart ache and weariness (because I'm so tired..and not just physically). Because I know that God is good, I believe that with all of my heart because I have tasted and seen Him. I know He is active in my life, I know He is leading me, and wherever He leads me, whatever pain and fires I have to go through to be more like Christ is worth it because He went through hell...for me. And there is no way I can even fathom that. His torture, beatings...etc. and He gave up His own life...so that I could spend eternity with Him.

So I guess I share all of this to try and encourage you, that wherever you are at in life, whatever you are struggling through, God knows your desires, your heart, your pain, your turmoil, and He is trustworthy. Lay yourself down and embrace all He has for you, He is worthy of your entire life. Your body, your mind, your heart, your actions, your obedience...He is worthy. And He is definitely worth it. He is our prize.

"The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Preparation is apart of Worship

Sometimes I really enjoy to just sit and think. I don't do this often, so I forget that typically when I do this, some kind of conviction or 'aha' moment occurs.

   I've only been sitting here for about 10 minutes, and that moment has already happened.

I'm leading worship tomorrow morning. I'm slightly nervous. Seeing as this past year has been bathed in anxiety in leading worship, and the last couple times it seems to be calming down and some victory has happened! So naturally, I am thinking and praying about worship. Naturally, I am thinking about myself....and asking God if I have grown as a worship leader in the last year and a half. My initial thought, is no, because I haven't been told (nor have I asked), how or even if I have grown. I am still extremely dependent upon other people to help me lead, which I don't think necessarily is a bad thing because of how God has wired me, but I am sure if an area I could grow in and would like to grow in. 

   Musically, I'm really not that good. For as many years as I have been doing this, I should be further along. But, I am also practicing and preparing more now musically and spiritually for worship than I every have.

And that is where my thoughts are at. The preparation of worship.

    This year, something has clicked in me that hadn't before, where I see the privilege and important of being apart of corporate worship, and it makes me want to do it better. Not for myself, not for the church, but for God, because He genuinely cares about our worship, especially when we all purposely gather together in His name. And I've began to see God move in incredible ways corporately and individually though this worship time. 

   I believe as well, that if our own individual worship time is suffering, our corporate worship time suffers. You see, we all, and not just musicians in a worship team, no matter what skill, or singers, or preachers, or teachers...but all of Christ's bride, should be preparing to come together to worship. 

For so long, I would show up on a Sunday morning, without even caring what songs we were going to sing and even how well I would play them, or without even praying for the teacher that morning, without even spending time with Christ before worshipping Him with fellow brothers and sisters. I would come together with an attitude that was not worthy of my Savior, and I didn't even care. Then I started getting anxious....and that only drew me to go to Christ. I started to pray more, at first, just for myself. I would pray all day Saturday, I would get up early Sunday morning and pray some more...then, I started not just praying for myself, but for the rest of the worship team, and then the pastors, and other leaders, because I knew if I was being so attacked, that they probably are too. And through all of that, God started to show me how much more powerful corporate times of worship are, even if just one person is taking the time to pray for those times, those people, and preparing themselves to worship Him in song, in abilities, in teaching, in fellowship and in servant hood. Through that, I see God smiling, I see and feel God receiving the glory that is due His name, and I see him working mightily within the church body, His bride. 

So my challenge; prepare your hearts to worship. Not just for a Sunday morning or evening, but every day. Worship in private, so that your corporate worship will be even more glorifying! Be ready and prepared, spiritually and physically, to worship your One True God who is Worthy of more than we can ever give! 

Worship, in spirit and in truth. 

✌️❤️

Saturday Morning Meditations

Sometimes I have no clue how to express in words what my heart feels. It's a frustrating thing for someone who enjoys to write things down, but I am finding that it is also a very beautiful thing for my intimacy with Christ. 

   He understands exactly what my heart feels and wants to say. And that brings tears to my eyes, out of gratitude and amazement at this unrelenting Love of my Creator.

   I encourage you, in your weariness, in your waiting, in your fear, in your joy, in your frustration...wherever you are at, be desperate for God. Know that He knows your heart better than you even do. He is with you. Take time today to just sit with Him, and let Him love you, speak to you, renew you, hold you, carry you...etc.

In my season of waiting, I find that I am continually put in situations where I need to wait, (take this fast I am on for instance...ice cream on Thursday cannot come quickly enough!). But when my attention and feelings are rooted in me just looking at what's to come, yes there is excitement, but then it moves to...'but I can't have it now!' And I become moody and trouble hearted. BUT, when my attention and feelings are rooted in the present and all that Christ is doing in me and in the people around me, I can't help but be joyful, and worship, and pray for what God lays on my heart. The fact that I am waiting, and all my frustration gets forgotten in the moment, because I am fixed on the One who is worthy of all of my attention and praise! 

God keeps putting this excitement within me in this season. I pray that He does the same in you. That you are excited for what God is doing, and what He will do. That your eyes see Him, more than they see yourself or things of this world. That you will worship, with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength and allow Him to be with you in the midst of life and that your desperation for Christ will only grow so that you are continuously seeking Him at all times. 

Turn your eyes upon Him, and look FULL in His wonderful face. And the things of this earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His Glory and Grace! 

✌️ my brethren!

#Hope

Today was a gorgeous day. A perfect day for blogging as I was told, so hence, a blog. 

    I had some good time just sitting with Jesus this morning. It was quite blissful. And I was asking God what to even blog about, and what i heard was Hope.

    So here's my thoughts;

This past week, was a real blah week, and quite difficult to keep my mood, morale, and attitude in a good place. I usually can gain a pretty good control of those things, but this week, it was not happening. There were some instances this week though that stood out to me:

        At community night, we had a time of worship. Which was long overdue, and was the first time in what feels like a while that I just cried. I was overwhelmed....by the gifts and value Christ gave to every person in that room. And my heart broke, because the majority of them, don't see it/choose not to see it/doubt it/don't realize all that God has given them...

        Sunday morning church service, during our third worship (music) set I was completely overwhelmed by the Spirit of God. It was during the song stronger. It was an odd thing, but a thing that    Is happening more randomly. I lost control of my body. I can't remember shaking that bad, ever. My hands would not stay still, my knees felt like they were shaking, and all I could do was sing out and proclaim that He is Stronger....because He is.

So what does Hope have to do with these parts of my week? It has a lot to do....because what I feel, is that as the bride of Christ, His church, so many of God's people are lacking hope. And this weekend, where we celebrated Christ defeating death and rising from the dead, it reminds me that we should be full of hope, no matter what season of life we are in, and what trials or joys we are walking through. I see hopelessness everyday, and I am surrounded by people everyday of my life who love Christ more than life itself. This my brethren, is not okay. How can we, who have the Holy Spirit alive inside of us, moving us, guiding us, sanctifying us, empowering us, who have been redeemed and made righteous by Jesus Christ's selfless and victorious sacrifice, and who have been chosen by the Creator of the heavens and the earth, a Holy, infinite God, be so hopeless?!

I beg you brothers and sisters, stop looking at your failures, your past, your insecurities, your fears....and look to Christ. See yourself the way He does, know what He says about you. People watch you, a dying world watches you, they know you proclaim Christ, so show them that He is worth the fight, that there is hope.

If you watch any movie, any tv show, hope is basically the center of what is going on. There is always that one person, who hopes for all the people, that something better will happen or come along. I've been watching recently a lot of the show Once Upon A Time, and Mary Margaret in one scene told Henry that fairy tales are there to give us hope. Hope that things don't have to stay the way they are, and that they won't. 

That is what Christ gives us. Hope. Hope, that life will not stay the same. Our situation, our trials will not stay the same, but that one day we will be face to face with Christ. And that time with Him, will not end. We will get to spend eternity with Him, and with no fears, no tears, no pain. Just the glory of God surrounding us!

So I leave you with the challenge to ask God to fix your eyes on Him so that your heart can hope more and more each day in Him. Also, look up verses on hope. The bible talks a lot about it. Here are a few:

"Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. "Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:2-5

"For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?

But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." Romans 8:24-25

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13

"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ,

 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works." Titus 2:11-14

We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, Hebrews 6:19

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. 

Hebrews 10:23

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." And he said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son.

Revelation 21:1-7

The joy that was set before Him. #endurance

"Therefore, since we are surrounded so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." 

Hebrews 12:1-2 

On Sunday Travis preached on the cross, and the whole time I kept thinking about that phrase, 'who for the joy that was set before him endured...' And I haven't been able to get it out if my head. 

In the past 6-8 months I feel like God's been teaching me what it feels like, and what it is to endure and I probably have only tasted a piece of it. 

   I've always been one of those people to quickly give up. I quit every sport I ever played in all my school years, not because I wasn't any good (I was actually quite athletic) but because I didn't want to endure the practices or the pain and time. I was lazy. For those same reasons, i also quit all my music lessons and choir. I didn't learn commitment until people showed me, by being committed to me. I think endurance and commitment go hand in hand. You can't endure anything, if your not committed. And commitment is a choice. 

Again, for the past 6-8 months, especially most recently, I'm really in a season of WAITING. Which is extremely difficult, and requires a lot of effort on my part to make sure my focus and mind are where they should be, on Christ, and not on all that I am ready and waiting for. Through this waiting season though, I have been learning to endure. Waiting, produces endurance, because if you want to be obedient to Christ in your life and with your heart, you have no choice but to endure and to persevere in the midst of waiting on Him to move you on. Its easy while waiting, to take things into your hands and to become impatient, but that only leads to sin and distraction from the one who holds your heart and knows your steps and holds your future. You have to be intentional and disciplined with your relationship with Christ in these seasons. Always. Because when we have to wait, and we have to endure, our hearts will always try to steer us another direction from waiting. The culture we live in, tells us whatever we want, we can have, and we can have it right now. But God doesn't always work that way. He likes to sanctify us through waiting, to be with Him, to rely on Him, to trust Him and surrender our wills to Him because He is good and will work everything out for the good of those who love Him. 

When I look at Hebrews 12:1-2 and Jesus going to the cross, and on the cross, I can't help but believe that of all people, He truly knows what it is to endure. So why when we need endurance do we not look to Him like Hebrews tells to. He endured the cross, because He knew He had to to save us, He endured the cross because He loved us so deeply, He endured the Father turning His face away because He knew that He would be reunited and seated at the Fathers right hand on His throne. He knew He had to endure, and He did, no matter what insults and torture and pain He had to go through to get there. He saw the joy on the other side. The joy in what was to come, and that helped fuel His endurance. 

   So I ask you, can you see the joy ahead of you in what you are waiting for? And is it worth it? 

Are you focused on what you want or on Christ? 

The ESV Study bible says this about that passage, "the promise of future reward and joy gave Jesus the strength to suffer." Are God's promises enough for you? Because they should be. 

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed." Romans 8:18 

Sabbath

I am excited. Today is the last day of March, and my sabbath day and thus far, it's been splendid! There's been no movies or tv shows....just music and cooking (gasp!), a work out, and Jesus!

Tomorrow starts a month long adventure for me, and I haven't been this excited for something that I know is going to be really difficult for what feels like a while! I know that people say your not supposed to tell people when your fasting, but I'm to excited and I want to share my heart. 

    I am going on the Daniel Fast for the month of April. As well, I am doing a squat and plank challenge with 2 of my friends. 

  I do this for many reasons, and one being discipline. And to become healthier. But mostly, to just fall more in love with Jesus, and to give my heart and attention more to Him. I've been distracted really easy, I've been learning to love so much more deeply this past year, and I just want to give that all back to my first love and fall in love all over again! To hear the Holy Spirit more, to follow more, to love even more, to depend on God more, to find all that I am in Him again, to grow in Him, to be more disciplined, to see better, to know Jesus more, to worship Him more....to go deeper. To be more intimate with my Savior who pursues me and my Shepherd who leads me and my Father who loves me! 

For His Name's Sake.

   For the past year and a half psalm 23 has spoken to me more than I ever imagined that oh so common psalm would. But common is not a word that should be used for scripture in the first place, for it is Alive. He restores my soul. He leads me. Not for my sake, but for His names sake, for His glory. 

My life, has nothing to do with me but everything to do with God.

    And I want to maintain that mindset. 

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in all the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

For His Name's Sake

I've been distracted. 

I've been laughing so much I'm sure laughte will be the death of me (not a bad way to go...)

I've been enjoying people. 

I've been moody.

I've been anxious.

I've been overflowing with love.

I've been healing.

I've been tired.

I've fallen in love with Jesus all over again.

I've been forsaking the one thing I have always been real good at.....QUALITY TIME WITH JESUS.

Last night while just having some down time and reading through the book Multiply whilst listening to worship music...my eyes started to tear up, which given a little time, turned into me sobbing. 

   Earlier that morning, psalm 23:3 had come to my mind...

 "He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness FOR HIS NAME'S SAKE."

Then my devotions were on Revelation 4&5 which led me to Philippians 2, about Christ's humility and that one day, every knee will bow and confess that Jesus Christ is LORD! There's been a lot going on in my mind recently, some new struggles, new experiences, and the LORD has been with me in all of it, leading me, guiding me, but last night I just felt like He was telling me that I've forsaken Him. I haven't been spending enough quality time with Him...I have been distracted. I've been praying, I've been including God, but there's just been a lack of quality ALONE time spent together. And that is all me. He has been waiting...oh how patient and faithful He is, but He is also jealous, so at some point...He will gt my attention, and He has!

In the midst of my reading through tear shed eyes, the conviction that I have fallen into the trap like many that I have been living like God is here to give me what I want....when that's not the case at all.

I am here for God, not vice versa. Everything I go through and deal with, is FOR HIS NAMES SAKE, for His Glory.... 

He desires obedience, and He blesses us for obedience, but when we are disobedient, there are consequences. The reminder that I am completely unworthy, and that God has every right to punish me severely for sin....hit me. The reminder that God is a Holy God, and should be feared....hit me. The reminder that in the midst of His mercy and grace and love...He is still a God of justice and must punish sin, hit me. The reminder that I am extremely sinful...hit me. 

I've been undisiciplined and have allowed Fun and Enjoyment with others to over cede my intentional quality time with Christ. And I'm not saying we can't have fun and enjoy others, because we can and should! God uses those times IMMENSELY in my heart and life to enjoy Him more and fall more in love with Him and to learn. What I am saying is...learn balance. Don't let anything over cede your relationship with Christ and that time you need to spend with Him, however that may look! 

Ezekiel 36:16-end

Revelation 4 & 5

"And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

Philippians 2:8-11

A piece of a testimony.

I used to struggle a lot with unworthiness. I knew and still know that I am completely unworthy of all Christ has done for me and has blessed me with, but I am now to a point where I can and do accept His gifts and blessings with joy! But it didn't used to be that way. At all. And I guess this past week, I have been reminded of that.

       

This may sound rather selfish and arrogant....but so far in my life, everything I have ever wanted, I have gotten. I've been called spoiled, which hurts, but I've come to realize, that this is how God honors and blesses me for my obedience and submission to Him. And just because He loves me. 

  Now, I don't just wish for it, and it's there. Not at all. It doesn't work like that. It's been extremely difficult, because of my own selfishness and not wanting to let go of my desires and dreams...but for everything that I have received, I have had to give it up. I had to surrender my dreams and desires before the LORD and truly let them go.....until I was okay and at peace without those things....or those people....until I was okay with just Jesus and content and dependent on Him. And then....I'm blown away, because like God provided a ram for Abraham as he was about ready to sacrifice his promised son, God has given back to me my dreams and made them all a reality. And honestly, this is what I am in the midst of going through right now.....is that in between stage. And it's difficult. But it only makes my faith stronger in that God will provide. He may not provide in the way I would exactly like Him to, but He will provide in a way that is even greater than I could have imagined, and I'm just waiting....and am rather excited!

       I am constantly in Awe that God works like this in my life, because I know I am completely unworthy, I have done nothing to deserve such love and honor and favor. But my Heavenly Father continues to lavish upon me His grace and love for my life. And this has only brought me to my knees, and has made me fall more in love with my Savior, and has given me an extremely grateful heart, that is constantly humbled before my LORD. It makes me want to serve Him more, because He treats me with such love and respect and care. 

My struggle with this at times....especially when I hear other peoples testimonies and when my heart is broken for other people....is that how can I be living in such favor and have God working like that in my life, when some people have never even experienced God in that way....it doesn't seem fair to me and it probably isn't. And it makes me want to not accept all the blessings from God because I want the others to have them instead, because I know I have hurt God deeply (I've felt a piece of it...), and I know I'm utterly unworthy....

But then I am reminded....that their stories, their hurt, their pain, is not over. And they can experience the God I know...who shows such favor and lavishes upon those who seek Him great love. They can make the choice now to surrender all their dreams and desires, and see God move in such reverent ways to where they receive back their dead (so to speak), and their dreams and experience life to the full. IN CHRIST. 

And that becomes my prayer. My fight for the ones God breaks my heart for. 

For we are all His. And if we seek Him, if we obey Him, if we surrender ourselves to Him....we will never have reason to doubt what He is capable to do in and through us. And we will experience His love and grace and blessings ABUNDANTLY. 

So wherever you are at, I beg you, accept the love and grace of Christ. Let Him abundantly bless you, because it will change your heart, your mind and your life. 

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. 

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 

For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you. But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of all your works."

Psalm 73:25-28

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."

Ephesians 3:20-2

Oh, the beauty of a heart.

The word heart is used 15 times in psalm 119 in th esv. 

I had asked people on Facebook for their favorite chapter in the Bible and a lady from church gave me psalm 119. So I started reading it yesterday, and I couldn't help but notice how the wor heart kept coming up. This psalm is all about keeping Gods word, and how important and beautiful it is to the writer. It's a beautiful psalm. But like I said, the word heart kept jumping out to me. Especially those verses and the ones around it.

I had this conversation with my roommate the other night...about how since August, I feel like God has been speaking to me, for myself and for other people, how we can trust out hearts....

   I know that the Bible tells me that there is none good, that we are sinful....and our hearts can lead us astray...but I also see in the bible that The Lord will give us the desires of our hearts...that our hearts CAN be for Christ and most importantly, that The Lord is greater than our hearts.

My opinion.....

   If we have given our heart to Christ, truly given it to Him....laying down our desires, laying down our selfishness....and continually give it to Him each an every day, why wouldn't we be able to trust our hearts? For they are no longer our own....but Christ's. If Christ truly has your heart, you know It...your heart breaks for other people, you love deeper, your transformed, your less selfish....to name a few. You may have to hand your heart over to Christ each morning, but you can rest assured that it is in His hands. Christ redeems. Christ, through His death has imputed his righteousness to us. He gives us a new heart when we allow Him to be LORD over our lives and our Savior.

You may disagree with me, and that is okay. I've been thinking about this and processing this for months. And still am. But I am fully confident that Christ has my heart. I believe I can trust my heart because it doesn't belong to me, but to Him and since August, I have seen that play out in my life. I'm more emotional than ever, but I love deeper, and as emotional as I am, they don't (for the most part...I am still a sinner!), control me. It's amazing to witness your emotions and your heart being in submission to Christ and not overtaking every part of your being. 

Confidence that your heart belongs to Christ and no one else, not even yourself, is extremely peaceful.

  And it's the best place for your heart. In the hand of your Redeemer.

I love hearts. They are bruised, they are worn, but they are beautiful. In the hands of God.

There is redemption.

Confession Time

Something you should know about me, is that I am extremely imperfect.

  That's why I write this post...

This morning, I woke up with a sadness in my heart...for a person that is going through a lot and I have no relationship with, and have no clue how to help them. There is history as well, and God just keeps laying them on my heart.

I fall down a few steps on the stairs...it's dark, I just woke up...I fell...made a loud noise, at 5:30am, woke my roommate up. And it hurt. 

It was really snowy this morning. The roads were pretty bad, I was sliding a lot. I slid into a field...went down a ditch, into a field. Got out to check my car, nearly fell about 3 times. Didn't have cell phone service. Couldn't call anyone. Decided to take things into my hands, and eventually made it out of the field over a mini hill.

I feel like poop.physically. My stomach is questionable, as is my throat, and my head hurts.

This makes me extremely emotional and sensitive. So anything can and will set me off.

Confession time....

    I want people to notice it's been a tough day. I want people to notice a change of mood in me, to take interest. I want people's attention. I want to be encouraged, all the time actually. Who doesn't? 

   The majority of my thinking, is the dichotomy of doing things for people and seeking their approval, or just being okay with Gods approval and His attention. Some days are harder than others. 

I have a lot of dichotomy in my thinking, it's rather frustrating. 

But I share this (and I could share so much more, who is really don't feel like bearing all on the internet, nor do I really care to bare all to individuals most of the time...but really I want to...another dichotomy) 

because I love Jesus so so so so so much. My life, also revolves around Him, in all honesty. I have been taught, and have learned how to think about Him more and involve Him more and to fix my eyes on him more, and it's difficult, especially in the midst of bad days, but He somehow always brings me back to Him, which I am grateful for! But I also am in Ministry...and I work in the church, am involved in my church, and am a worship leader. So, people sometimes can get the idea that I am super spiritual, and holy, and have everything together. Which sometimes, it seems like I do and that I am...but I'm still figuring this following Jesus thing out too. I'm still being sanctified. I still fail and have bad days. I'm not always godly. I'm not always spiritual. I can be quite surfacey...because it's safe. But sometimes going deep, is refreshing and reveals the heart and is what makes me fall in love with people and especially more in love with Jesus, and what helps shape and mold my charachter and my heart and challenges my way of thinking, and my way of living.

So I write this, just to let u know that I'm a sinner. To confess that I sometimes would prefer the affirmation of people over God. And that I have bad days too. We are all the same.  None of us are better than each other. God loves us all the same. We are all His children, and He blesses and disciplines us all. 

Now, to do what all spiritual people do to relax....sleep and netflix....😧😝

✌️ peace and ❤️ love brethren. 

Walk in the Spirit

So, there's this song. That has swept the nations. And so it should, because it's an incredible song. 

When this song first came out, I made it my prayer to God. Especially the bridge of the song. 

Have you ever heard the phrase, 'careful what you pray for?" (Wish for is the more popular one, but i have definitely heard people say that about prayer too!" Because God answers prayers. Especially when they align with His will, and in the end, conform us to the image of Jesus Christ.

Well, I realized this past week, that my prayer is currently being answered. God answers prayers when we least expect Him to, and in ways that we don't even catch that they are answered prayers. Or, we just aren't expecting God to actually answer, so we don't look for Him to be moving and answering. I think it's more often than not, the latter one. And I confess, that's probably why I didn't see this. I had forgotten I had prayed this prayer, because sometimes I just get used to singing a song or reciting a verse. But I want my heart to always be in it. And God knows my heart, more deeply than anyone, He created it, had molded it and is molding it, it is in His hands, it is His.

So, God is answering my prayer of:

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior"

   Oceans (where feet may fail) by Hillsong United

He is leading me where there is becoming a lack of borders to my trust in Him, I am walking where He has called me, and it's not easy and it's only drawing me deeper into Him and deeper into His heart and His power...where my feet could never take me. And He is taking me through things, where my faith in Him is crucial, and I am seeing and witnessing first hand that faith in Him truly makes me stronger, because it's all about Him and not me. His will, and not mine. And all of this, is in His Presence. By His incredible Holy Spirit, who enables, who comforts, who whispers, who leads. There is power in the Spirit, and in His presence. That enables us to have more faith, and to trust without borders. He breaks down walls. He protects. He is wild. He is steadfast. He is faithful. He is worth it.

I leave you with this incredible verse:

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." 

Ephesians 3:20-21

Crazy week

This has been a very interesting week. Not what I would have expected at all, but I guess that's what make sit exciting, because God is clearly at work.

I don't even really know how to word what I want to share, but I just know that I want to share,

It's been another week of being awake at times I just want to be sleeping. This is becoming pretty current, and really, I am okay with this. Because I know for a fact it is God keeping me awake,to pray for my brothers and sisters who need it. In these times, when certain people are stuck on my heart, I have started to just ask God what it is that they need to hear or they need prayer for in that moment, rather than just praying what I feel or think. But asking God what they need and trusting Him in that. 

It's been an emotional week. A week where I've been quite sentimental and falling in love with people all over again. It's been a week where difficult conversations have been needed to have. It's also been a week where conversations have been extremely encouraging, and uplifting. It's been a week where I am realizing all that God is really teaching me and things that need to be changed in my own life. 

It's been a week where the Holy Spirit has just been so evident and alive in my heart where I absolutely cannot ignore Him and have to be obedient. 

It's been an interesting week. 

It's been a Good week.

It's been a Spirit-filled week.

Friends, it truly is never a dull moment in following Jesus.

Just walk WITH Him, and seek His face. For He says that when we seek Him, we will find Him! 

Seek Jesus my friends. You will find Him. He will reveal Himself to You.

✌️ peace in the name of Jesus Christ.