God has been teaching me a lot about His Grace within this past month, and most recently He has kinda pointed His grace out to me once again.
Just this past week I was finding life a little complacent...i tend to get bored with life and myself if change is not occuring in my life. I thrive off of change and new things in life for the most part. But what I want to share is this:
Sometimes, I really wish we could show God our love for Him and serve Him in our own strength. But this my friends, is impossible, as I am learning. There is nothing good in me. No strength in me to live a godly life. I NEED God's Spirit to guide me. To help me to love Him better. To serve my Savior and to liv a life of love. I cannot do it on my own. I will always fail if I try. So this past week God has really shown me (once again) how weak I am, and how strong He is. Also that IT IS OKAY to need Him to love Him. He actually really likes it that way. It keeps us remembering who He is, and who we are! Having that reverence for a Holy God whom we cannot live without!
2 Corinthians 12:10
For the sake of Christ then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
When God lays something on your heart...
"Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
Hebrews 12:1-2
In times of corporate worship, God tends to lay things on my heart for everyone in the room. And the one thing that I just can't get out of my mind and that is on my heart...is this verse. and the importance of it.
I believe that we all, hold onto things. whether we realize we are holding onto something or not, we are. We like how people make us feel, we like being with others, we like being loved, and there's so much more. spiritually we like to stay complacent. we like to hold onto pride, or our gifts. the list goes on...we can and do hold onto anything and everything.
by holding onto things, our eyes are not fixed on Jesus. and it hinders us. when our eyes are off of Jesus, we are blinded. this happens all to often in my own life.
I strongly feel like God just wants us to examine ourselves. To SEEK HIM and Him alone. not other people. not emotions. not ourselves. but HIM. I strongly feel like God wants us to see what we are holding onto, and to just let it go. To be RAW with God. To not count on anything, but Him alone. Just let go. Stop holding on.
Holding on ruins you. Holding on strips you of who you are meant to be. Our hearts are a precious and delicate thing. Guard it. Protect it. Examine it. and Let God mend it. Let God have it wholly.
Don't count on others. Count on God. Seek God. not others. Hold onto Jesus, and nothing or anybody else. Nobody or anything comes close to doing for you what God can and desires to do for you.
Hebrews 12:1-2
Seek God. Examine your eyes, your attitude, your viewpoint, your heart.
Hebrews 12:1-2
In times of corporate worship, God tends to lay things on my heart for everyone in the room. And the one thing that I just can't get out of my mind and that is on my heart...is this verse. and the importance of it.
I believe that we all, hold onto things. whether we realize we are holding onto something or not, we are. We like how people make us feel, we like being with others, we like being loved, and there's so much more. spiritually we like to stay complacent. we like to hold onto pride, or our gifts. the list goes on...we can and do hold onto anything and everything.
by holding onto things, our eyes are not fixed on Jesus. and it hinders us. when our eyes are off of Jesus, we are blinded. this happens all to often in my own life.
I strongly feel like God just wants us to examine ourselves. To SEEK HIM and Him alone. not other people. not emotions. not ourselves. but HIM. I strongly feel like God wants us to see what we are holding onto, and to just let it go. To be RAW with God. To not count on anything, but Him alone. Just let go. Stop holding on.
Holding on ruins you. Holding on strips you of who you are meant to be. Our hearts are a precious and delicate thing. Guard it. Protect it. Examine it. and Let God mend it. Let God have it wholly.
Don't count on others. Count on God. Seek God. not others. Hold onto Jesus, and nothing or anybody else. Nobody or anything comes close to doing for you what God can and desires to do for you.
Hebrews 12:1-2
Seek God. Examine your eyes, your attitude, your viewpoint, your heart.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Time with Jesus.
I am learning a whole lot right now. Especially about myself. But right now what I feel like sharing...is just how much love God has for us.
God has been teaching me about prayer and time with Him lately. and is continueign to teach me. which im very thankful for! I love being taught. But one thing that this morning, and that I'm just being shown right now by God. Is that, we don't HAVE to have our times with Him scheduled. they don't have to be perfect. All that He really cares about, is that we make the time to spend with Him. is that we INVITE Him into our day and into times when it's just us. or even with other people. I am a HUGE believer in time spent alone with God. I personally need a whole lot of it. But i also tend to lack in actually taking the time. I tend to get distracted by too many things..especially tiredness.
But back to the point! Im learning that even when I'm just sitting at my computer, with music on, talking to people, or doing whatever I am doing on the interweb or facebook. Whatever my intentions are. That even here, on my computer...I can embrace God's love and grace for me.
I am learning that i dont have to have a set time of prayer. I just need to take the time. Iv learned I can shower in the mornings before I pray so that I am more awake! I learned i don't have to take the whole hour i set aside for prayer somedays. I learned that i can pray while I am journaling. As im turning my lights out to go to bed. As I'm waking up in the mornings. Ive learned that I can just sit on my floor for ten minutes and that be my prayer time.
Prayer, and time with our Creator comes in more ways than we can even think of. It's jsut a matter of, are we taking that time?! Even if its only 5 minutes of pure aloneness w God one day.
He is with us all the time. He desires for us to invite Him into our lives and into our daily activities. and also to take time out for Him. to just BE with Him and ENJOY Him. its not so much about rules, and about exactly how much time we spend, whether we go short or go longer...its jsut that we are with Him. period. its okay!
He is showing me...that things in my life, how I am...its all just okay! Because of His grace! His love.
and so He continues to teach....
God has been teaching me about prayer and time with Him lately. and is continueign to teach me. which im very thankful for! I love being taught. But one thing that this morning, and that I'm just being shown right now by God. Is that, we don't HAVE to have our times with Him scheduled. they don't have to be perfect. All that He really cares about, is that we make the time to spend with Him. is that we INVITE Him into our day and into times when it's just us. or even with other people. I am a HUGE believer in time spent alone with God. I personally need a whole lot of it. But i also tend to lack in actually taking the time. I tend to get distracted by too many things..especially tiredness.
But back to the point! Im learning that even when I'm just sitting at my computer, with music on, talking to people, or doing whatever I am doing on the interweb or facebook. Whatever my intentions are. That even here, on my computer...I can embrace God's love and grace for me.
I am learning that i dont have to have a set time of prayer. I just need to take the time. Iv learned I can shower in the mornings before I pray so that I am more awake! I learned i don't have to take the whole hour i set aside for prayer somedays. I learned that i can pray while I am journaling. As im turning my lights out to go to bed. As I'm waking up in the mornings. Ive learned that I can just sit on my floor for ten minutes and that be my prayer time.
Prayer, and time with our Creator comes in more ways than we can even think of. It's jsut a matter of, are we taking that time?! Even if its only 5 minutes of pure aloneness w God one day.
He is with us all the time. He desires for us to invite Him into our lives and into our daily activities. and also to take time out for Him. to just BE with Him and ENJOY Him. its not so much about rules, and about exactly how much time we spend, whether we go short or go longer...its jsut that we are with Him. period. its okay!
He is showing me...that things in my life, how I am...its all just okay! Because of His grace! His love.
and so He continues to teach....
Monday, October 19, 2009
Funny how God teaches us.
God works in wonderful ways. Ways we can't even imagine. Especially while we are learning something. and we don't realize these things until after!
So the other day I was talking w my cousin. and he recently felt like God was asking Him to give up leading worship. and I was happy about that. He was curious as to why. And i told Him why. and after we talked about it...it hit me....at how true it is. and how God actually took me through that. and is going to take many others through it too. So i felt like sharing.
When living for God...most of the time...you will be asked to give something up. Yes...you are asked to give yourself up. your dreams. your desires. everything. But there is always something...that is just YOUR thing. Something you are gifted in. Something you love with all of your heart. Something you feel called to do. Something you just enjoy. Something you do everyday. Something you want to do for the rest of your life.
For my cousin, it was leading worship. For myself...it was being in ministry. You see...I spent a year and half right out of highschool being in full time ministry in Northern Ireland. I really learned a lot about myself and about God and who I am. I had never done ministry before. and i absolutely fell in love w it. fell in love w discipling girls, with being in the word...with being involved in people's lives. I fell in love with ministry. and was gifted in it.
Well friends...I let that love for ministry...overwhelm my love for God. I became obsessed with being in ministry. i thought i HAD to because i felt called to it. and therefore, because i felt called to do that, and i loved it, i thought i would forever and always do it. that is when my world crashed. and i mean...crashed. only i didnt realize it right at that moment. it took me a while...when my relationship with God horribly suffered...when past emotions arose...when ministry became a bother...and my heart wasnt in it.
God was letting me know...that I had put ministry before Him. and I believe we all at some point in our lives...do that. We become so in love with a dream...that we let it consume us. we let THAT become our identity...and now God.
so i feel like...God has taken me through that...and He is taking my cousin and others right now, and in the future through that. Where we need to give something up...that we love..and just be content in Jesus. in what He has for us..and to know that no matter what happens in our life...no matter where we are or what we are doing...as long as we have Jesus...we are satisfied. We are at peace. We are joyful.
Cuz honestly...all we need is Jesus. If we truly love Jesus...we are willing to give up our dreams and desires for His. trust Him. it is worth it. I've been through it...and still am. It doesn't mean He is going to take away your dreams and desires you have right now that you may need to give up. It may only be for a time. he just wants you to learn, and to trust Him, that his plans are way better than anything you can ever dream of. and that your life...is for Him...and not for anything else.
It is a beautiful thing to go through. Surrender. It is a painful thing. But blessing does come from it. Contentment and love come through it. More dreams. and Open eyes come from it. God has many other ways He would like to use us...than just one. Our lives are our ministry. Our love for Jesus...is our minsitry. Is our witness.
Be encouraged friends.
in Ezekiel..it says that God's word..always comes true. Do you believe that?!
So the other day I was talking w my cousin. and he recently felt like God was asking Him to give up leading worship. and I was happy about that. He was curious as to why. And i told Him why. and after we talked about it...it hit me....at how true it is. and how God actually took me through that. and is going to take many others through it too. So i felt like sharing.
When living for God...most of the time...you will be asked to give something up. Yes...you are asked to give yourself up. your dreams. your desires. everything. But there is always something...that is just YOUR thing. Something you are gifted in. Something you love with all of your heart. Something you feel called to do. Something you just enjoy. Something you do everyday. Something you want to do for the rest of your life.
For my cousin, it was leading worship. For myself...it was being in ministry. You see...I spent a year and half right out of highschool being in full time ministry in Northern Ireland. I really learned a lot about myself and about God and who I am. I had never done ministry before. and i absolutely fell in love w it. fell in love w discipling girls, with being in the word...with being involved in people's lives. I fell in love with ministry. and was gifted in it.
Well friends...I let that love for ministry...overwhelm my love for God. I became obsessed with being in ministry. i thought i HAD to because i felt called to it. and therefore, because i felt called to do that, and i loved it, i thought i would forever and always do it. that is when my world crashed. and i mean...crashed. only i didnt realize it right at that moment. it took me a while...when my relationship with God horribly suffered...when past emotions arose...when ministry became a bother...and my heart wasnt in it.
God was letting me know...that I had put ministry before Him. and I believe we all at some point in our lives...do that. We become so in love with a dream...that we let it consume us. we let THAT become our identity...and now God.
so i feel like...God has taken me through that...and He is taking my cousin and others right now, and in the future through that. Where we need to give something up...that we love..and just be content in Jesus. in what He has for us..and to know that no matter what happens in our life...no matter where we are or what we are doing...as long as we have Jesus...we are satisfied. We are at peace. We are joyful.
Cuz honestly...all we need is Jesus. If we truly love Jesus...we are willing to give up our dreams and desires for His. trust Him. it is worth it. I've been through it...and still am. It doesn't mean He is going to take away your dreams and desires you have right now that you may need to give up. It may only be for a time. he just wants you to learn, and to trust Him, that his plans are way better than anything you can ever dream of. and that your life...is for Him...and not for anything else.
It is a beautiful thing to go through. Surrender. It is a painful thing. But blessing does come from it. Contentment and love come through it. More dreams. and Open eyes come from it. God has many other ways He would like to use us...than just one. Our lives are our ministry. Our love for Jesus...is our minsitry. Is our witness.
Be encouraged friends.
in Ezekiel..it says that God's word..always comes true. Do you believe that?!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Are we taking time to just hang out with Jesus?
are we taking time to be in AWE of God?
Are we taking time to pray to God?! and not just our little, God may this day be a great day for your glory prayers...but prayer....heartfelt. half hours of prayer. hours of prayer. cries?!
are we taking time to allow the Spirit of God to minister in us?! to move us? to use us?!
i realized the other night. that God has claimed my mind. and now He is working on claiming my heart. He already has a bit of it. But He wants even more of it. He wants my heart to feel anguish, to break for what breaks His. He wants me heart to be a compassionate heart. and i definately feel a call on my life to have a huge prayerful heart. He wants to claim every part of my heart as His.
So I ask you...as well as myself. Are we allowing God to change us?! No matter how hard it may be? Are we embracing it? Are we willing? Are we taking the time out of our own selfish lives and desires, to allow God to move in and through us?!
I was just reading about the heart a little bit.
And the heart is a muscle. about the size of a fist. and muscles tend to contract right. well when the heart contracts...its an all-or-nothing thing. The heart contracts with ALL OF ITS FORCE.
are we embracing God with all that we are?! are we loving with all of our heart?! or just a part of it.
the heart is a very incredible thing. its not just a muscle which brings life to our body and keeps up alive. its more than that. it allows us to FEEL things....
yes we can feel other muscles...like when we pull it or we can feel it twitch at times...
we can feel our heart breaking when we see children being uncared for.
we can feel our heart rejoicing when we see people engulfed in worship to our Glorious God.
its more than just keeping us alive.
are we taking time to see and to be in awe of what God created?! His beauty in us. and in this world. or are we just focused on our everyday life. and being complacent, and just seeing God as common...
HE is the farthest thing from common. so why do we live like He is?!
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:2
are we taking time to be in AWE of God?
Are we taking time to pray to God?! and not just our little, God may this day be a great day for your glory prayers...but prayer....heartfelt. half hours of prayer. hours of prayer. cries?!
are we taking time to allow the Spirit of God to minister in us?! to move us? to use us?!
i realized the other night. that God has claimed my mind. and now He is working on claiming my heart. He already has a bit of it. But He wants even more of it. He wants my heart to feel anguish, to break for what breaks His. He wants me heart to be a compassionate heart. and i definately feel a call on my life to have a huge prayerful heart. He wants to claim every part of my heart as His.
So I ask you...as well as myself. Are we allowing God to change us?! No matter how hard it may be? Are we embracing it? Are we willing? Are we taking the time out of our own selfish lives and desires, to allow God to move in and through us?!
I was just reading about the heart a little bit.
And the heart is a muscle. about the size of a fist. and muscles tend to contract right. well when the heart contracts...its an all-or-nothing thing. The heart contracts with ALL OF ITS FORCE.
are we embracing God with all that we are?! are we loving with all of our heart?! or just a part of it.
the heart is a very incredible thing. its not just a muscle which brings life to our body and keeps up alive. its more than that. it allows us to FEEL things....
yes we can feel other muscles...like when we pull it or we can feel it twitch at times...
we can feel our heart breaking when we see children being uncared for.
we can feel our heart rejoicing when we see people engulfed in worship to our Glorious God.
its more than just keeping us alive.
are we taking time to see and to be in awe of what God created?! His beauty in us. and in this world. or are we just focused on our everyday life. and being complacent, and just seeing God as common...
HE is the farthest thing from common. so why do we live like He is?!
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:2
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
sometimes you feel bad asking God for help. But the truth of the matter is...God doesn't mind.
we can't do anything without God's help. so why are we hesitant to ask?!
probably our pride.
A lot of people talk about how we think so much of ourselves....i don't. some people struggle with realizing that we actually are nothing in this world. i don't. I know, that compared to the God of This Universe....I am pitiful! I forever will be. But I also know, that His grace and His mercy and His love give me a worth. Make me worthwhile. In His eyes, in my own eyes, and in the eyes of other people.
Yes we all have our struggles. we all have a lot to learn, and sacrifices to make, and molding to go through. but i think we so often don't embrace it, because we are afraid to admit that we need help, and afraid to ask God help.
God meets us where we are. He wants to be close to us. He wants us to call out to Him. He is just waiting for us to call out to Him. So ask Him for His help. To mold your heart. To cleanse your heart, your mind. To have the strength and the joy to go through this life and to embrace everything and everyone that comes your way!
In Psalm 84 one of the verses says.
Blessed is the one who's strength is in the Lord. whose heart is fixed on the pilgrimage.
A pilgrimage is a journey to a holy place or temple. Our pilgrimage is Heaven. Is being w Jesus face to face, in His full Glory. God gives us strength. Let's embrace that strength. and keep our hearts fixed on Jesus. and our eyes fixed on Jesus.
That is when our lives change, and when God can build us. When we are fixed on Him! We can see Him.
we can't do anything without God's help. so why are we hesitant to ask?!
probably our pride.
A lot of people talk about how we think so much of ourselves....i don't. some people struggle with realizing that we actually are nothing in this world. i don't. I know, that compared to the God of This Universe....I am pitiful! I forever will be. But I also know, that His grace and His mercy and His love give me a worth. Make me worthwhile. In His eyes, in my own eyes, and in the eyes of other people.
Yes we all have our struggles. we all have a lot to learn, and sacrifices to make, and molding to go through. but i think we so often don't embrace it, because we are afraid to admit that we need help, and afraid to ask God help.
God meets us where we are. He wants to be close to us. He wants us to call out to Him. He is just waiting for us to call out to Him. So ask Him for His help. To mold your heart. To cleanse your heart, your mind. To have the strength and the joy to go through this life and to embrace everything and everyone that comes your way!
In Psalm 84 one of the verses says.
Blessed is the one who's strength is in the Lord. whose heart is fixed on the pilgrimage.
A pilgrimage is a journey to a holy place or temple. Our pilgrimage is Heaven. Is being w Jesus face to face, in His full Glory. God gives us strength. Let's embrace that strength. and keep our hearts fixed on Jesus. and our eyes fixed on Jesus.
That is when our lives change, and when God can build us. When we are fixed on Him! We can see Him.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Comparing can ruin a persons worth.
I'm letting you see my insecurities right now....
I haven't done this in a really long time. and so this really bothers me. But I tend to compare myself. to the people around me. Which just strips me of who I am, and the confidence that God has built in me.
and i think the comparisons, stem from my jealous heart. I see God moving in people's lives, exciting things! i see their personalities, and how people just love being around them. i see them being able to be in these conversations and with these people that are just encouraging and ltos of fun, and challenging spiritually...while im at work...
and i know that these people, may not always even get to do these things...so why do i compare and get jealous?! i want to be in that perosns shoes. i want to be among those conversations...
i want to be a person ppl look forward to spending time with. i want to be an exciting person. my friends know im 'boring', and they just accept it. which is great. but do i accept it?! i dont want to be considered as boring.
but if thats what i am, thats what i am right?!
i know im not doing myself any good by focusing and these comparisons. i am, who i am. God IS moving in my life, and doing a lot which is very exciting and im excited for the future. yes, i get antsy sometimes with just working. but he continuously blesses me at work, with the great ppl i work with and great conversations with them...like today for instance. so why can i be happy w that?! i am happy w that. but why do i keep seeking MORE!? is it wrong to seek more than the blessings that He is giving me? i mean...I need to learn to be content. I have learned to be content. there are just times when i don't WANT to be content...when i wonder...right...when is my life going to move on......when do my talents appear and get to be in full use ?!?! or even...what are my talents?!
my heart....is selfish and jealous. my heart...at times...is not content. my heart...always seeks more. my heart....feels a lot. my mind...tends to go with what my heart feels...
So God...control my heart. My heart is yours. Cleanse it. Purify It. so that I can see you. (matthew 5:8) May i encourage people with my words. May my heart be FULL of your LOVE, for you, for myself, and for others. May comparisons not matter to me. may i be confident in who i am...in you. may i be content with JUST you. may my eyes be FIXED on You Jesus. because when they are fixed on You...everything turns okay. everything else fades. and I am in your embrace. May my life, be in that embrace...always.
You hold my heart. Mend it. Mold it.
I just want you. only you.
I haven't done this in a really long time. and so this really bothers me. But I tend to compare myself. to the people around me. Which just strips me of who I am, and the confidence that God has built in me.
and i think the comparisons, stem from my jealous heart. I see God moving in people's lives, exciting things! i see their personalities, and how people just love being around them. i see them being able to be in these conversations and with these people that are just encouraging and ltos of fun, and challenging spiritually...while im at work...
and i know that these people, may not always even get to do these things...so why do i compare and get jealous?! i want to be in that perosns shoes. i want to be among those conversations...
i want to be a person ppl look forward to spending time with. i want to be an exciting person. my friends know im 'boring', and they just accept it. which is great. but do i accept it?! i dont want to be considered as boring.
but if thats what i am, thats what i am right?!
i know im not doing myself any good by focusing and these comparisons. i am, who i am. God IS moving in my life, and doing a lot which is very exciting and im excited for the future. yes, i get antsy sometimes with just working. but he continuously blesses me at work, with the great ppl i work with and great conversations with them...like today for instance. so why can i be happy w that?! i am happy w that. but why do i keep seeking MORE!? is it wrong to seek more than the blessings that He is giving me? i mean...I need to learn to be content. I have learned to be content. there are just times when i don't WANT to be content...when i wonder...right...when is my life going to move on......when do my talents appear and get to be in full use ?!?! or even...what are my talents?!
my heart....is selfish and jealous. my heart...at times...is not content. my heart...always seeks more. my heart....feels a lot. my mind...tends to go with what my heart feels...
So God...control my heart. My heart is yours. Cleanse it. Purify It. so that I can see you. (matthew 5:8) May i encourage people with my words. May my heart be FULL of your LOVE, for you, for myself, and for others. May comparisons not matter to me. may i be confident in who i am...in you. may i be content with JUST you. may my eyes be FIXED on You Jesus. because when they are fixed on You...everything turns okay. everything else fades. and I am in your embrace. May my life, be in that embrace...always.
You hold my heart. Mend it. Mold it.
I just want you. only you.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Beyond the surface
there is always a story behind a word. do we take the time to pay attention to that story? to honor that story? to really look into a simple word which can mean more than our minds can take?!
So I'm reading The Heavenly Man. And it is blowing my mind. It's about this Chinese man who was put in prison, and tortured in ways that...i cant even describe...its sickening what ppl will do to others...and its just incredible what this guy went through for the sake of the church..and His love for Jesus. Incredible. and to think, Jesus was EVEN better! and went thru so much more...
But just reading this guys story (im not even half way thru the book right now) but he puts scripture in with his story at certain points...scripture that uplifted him and gave him strength...and it makes you actually look at the scripture from his and the writer of the scriptures point of view. so often, i dont think we realize the pain that maybe David was in when He wrote some of the psalms...or Paul while in prison...we just read the words, without realizing that these people actually suffered...and were tortured probably...and we don't realize the pain behind the words. the story behind the words. and then the deliverance behind the words as well!
it just makes you look at things in a different perspective.
"Praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead..."
We are blessed. and all we go through for the sake of Jesus...is a blessing.
So I'm reading The Heavenly Man. And it is blowing my mind. It's about this Chinese man who was put in prison, and tortured in ways that...i cant even describe...its sickening what ppl will do to others...and its just incredible what this guy went through for the sake of the church..and His love for Jesus. Incredible. and to think, Jesus was EVEN better! and went thru so much more...
But just reading this guys story (im not even half way thru the book right now) but he puts scripture in with his story at certain points...scripture that uplifted him and gave him strength...and it makes you actually look at the scripture from his and the writer of the scriptures point of view. so often, i dont think we realize the pain that maybe David was in when He wrote some of the psalms...or Paul while in prison...we just read the words, without realizing that these people actually suffered...and were tortured probably...and we don't realize the pain behind the words. the story behind the words. and then the deliverance behind the words as well!
it just makes you look at things in a different perspective.
"Praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead..."
We are blessed. and all we go through for the sake of Jesus...is a blessing.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Matthew 15
I would like to share with you, my devotions for today.
Matthew 15:10-20 is the passage.
'Jesus called the crowd to him and said, 'Listen and understand. What goes into a man's mouth does not make him unclean, but what comes OUT of his mouth, hat is what makes him unclean.'
Then the disciples came to him and asked, 'Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?' He replied, 'Every plant that my heavenly father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. Leave them; they are blind guides. If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit.' Peter said, Explain the parable to us.'
Are you still so dull? Jesus asked them. Dont you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man unclean. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man unclean; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him unclean.'
The focus here, is in bold.
So often in our every day life, we have people who irritate us, who annoy us, who make us jealous without even realizing it. Every person, no matter what they do, we react to in some way shape or form. Sometimes, that reaction, just isnt very righteous....
My devotions had this illustration that I would like to share:
A baptist preacher at a retreat asked a young lady to come up to the platform, and he had in his hand a cup of water. He instructed the girl to grab the arm that held the cup of water and shake it very hard. After a moment of hestitation, the girl shook his arm, and water went flying everywhere. He looked at her and pointedly asked, 'What made the glass spill water?'
Immediately she replied, 'It spilled because I shook your arm."
"oh no" he said, "it spilled water becasue there was water in the cup."
When people shake us up...its not because of them, what comes out. What comes out when we are shaken, is already inside of us.
So when we react badly to certain people, or certain situations, its not that 'persons' fault. We should be thanking them. Because they reveal our heart.
did u hear this people?!
our reaction, to other people, reveal our heart. other people are not to be blamed, for anything. they simply just reveal to us, and if anyone else is around us, where our heart is. what exactly is in our heart.
and so often...i know for me...my heart is revealed as envious....way too many times. and frankly I don't like it. so many of our hearts, are corrupted. and we don't even realize it. each day, we need to be 'cleansed' by the charachter and mercy of our God through the Holy Spirits power. Through meditation. Through willingness.
So i challenge you, to pay attention to your reactions. and to ask God to reveal your heart. it may not be pretty. but God makes the not so pretty, into beauty. :) Be cleansed by the blood of the Lamb.
Matthew 15:10-20 is the passage.
'Jesus called the crowd to him and said, 'Listen and understand. What goes into a man's mouth does not make him unclean, but what comes OUT of his mouth, hat is what makes him unclean.'
Then the disciples came to him and asked, 'Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?' He replied, 'Every plant that my heavenly father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. Leave them; they are blind guides. If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit.' Peter said, Explain the parable to us.'
Are you still so dull? Jesus asked them. Dont you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man unclean. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man unclean; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him unclean.'
The focus here, is in bold.
So often in our every day life, we have people who irritate us, who annoy us, who make us jealous without even realizing it. Every person, no matter what they do, we react to in some way shape or form. Sometimes, that reaction, just isnt very righteous....
My devotions had this illustration that I would like to share:
A baptist preacher at a retreat asked a young lady to come up to the platform, and he had in his hand a cup of water. He instructed the girl to grab the arm that held the cup of water and shake it very hard. After a moment of hestitation, the girl shook his arm, and water went flying everywhere. He looked at her and pointedly asked, 'What made the glass spill water?'
Immediately she replied, 'It spilled because I shook your arm."
"oh no" he said, "it spilled water becasue there was water in the cup."
When people shake us up...its not because of them, what comes out. What comes out when we are shaken, is already inside of us.
So when we react badly to certain people, or certain situations, its not that 'persons' fault. We should be thanking them. Because they reveal our heart.
did u hear this people?!
our reaction, to other people, reveal our heart. other people are not to be blamed, for anything. they simply just reveal to us, and if anyone else is around us, where our heart is. what exactly is in our heart.
and so often...i know for me...my heart is revealed as envious....way too many times. and frankly I don't like it. so many of our hearts, are corrupted. and we don't even realize it. each day, we need to be 'cleansed' by the charachter and mercy of our God through the Holy Spirits power. Through meditation. Through willingness.
So i challenge you, to pay attention to your reactions. and to ask God to reveal your heart. it may not be pretty. but God makes the not so pretty, into beauty. :) Be cleansed by the blood of the Lamb.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Take My Life
I have a thing for theme songs...theme verses...
and I'm begining to find many themes songs.. to back up a theme in my life.
This Hymn, "Take My Life" is one of my new themes for my life. For my relationship with God. All to do with and for the Glory of My Savior! woohoo! I love every word of this song. and the meaning behind it. Some lines, and words though, hit me depper with love and awe though! :) But ugh. these words are just incredible. the meaning and heart behind them, are just where my heart is for my God! every single word.
"Take my life and let it be consecreated Lord, to thee.
and I'm begining to find many themes songs.. to back up a theme in my life.
This Hymn, "Take My Life" is one of my new themes for my life. For my relationship with God. All to do with and for the Glory of My Savior! woohoo! I love every word of this song. and the meaning behind it. Some lines, and words though, hit me depper with love and awe though! :) But ugh. these words are just incredible. the meaning and heart behind them, are just where my heart is for my God! every single word.
"Take my life and let it be consecreated Lord, to thee.
Take my moments and my days. let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of thy love. (p.s. i really love this line)
Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for thee.
Take my voice and let me sing, always, only for my king. :)
Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from thee.
Take my silver and my gold not a might would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use every power as you choose.
Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for thee.
Take my will and make it Thine it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart it is thine own, it shall be thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord I pour at your feet it's treasure store
Take myself and I will be ever only all for thee
Take myself and I will be ever, only all for thee.
Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, its all for three."
Make this your prayer for your life. Tis mine.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Who are we living for?
Jeremiah 26:2 (read it. or the whole chapter if you please! it released this frustration for some reason.)
God is moving. He always is. Lately, I can just see it even more though.
This frustrates me.
Let me explain...
it does not frustrate me that God is moving. That thrills me and comforts me!
what frustrates me...is to see God moving...and people not responding.
I believe God has given me a feeling into what He has felt for millions of years, with the Israelites forsaking Him time and time again. Yet He always had mercy upon them, when they called out to Him.
But what gets me...right..
is how we(i am including myself in here. because i am found guilty as well) choose and TRY to fight for ourselves. for our own lives. for our own reputation. for our own feelings. for our own rights. last time i checked, 1. i dont have any rights. 2. feelings are deceptive. and 3. this life is not about us.
it all comes down to selfishness. and sin.
In the beginning, there was God. Garden of Eden. A place, where Adam was created in God's image. Eve, for his companion. We were created, for the sole purpose to live in intimacy with God. To live in Paradise. For enjoyment. and for Love. Then Sin entered the world. and this is another frustration: Sin is not Satan's fault. Sin is our own fault. Stop blaming Satan. I'm not sticking up for him here, I'm just trying to help people see how wretched we humans actually are. Satan is the tempter...we CHOOSE whether to give in, or to stand our ground. so therefore, sin is the humans fault. we did it (do it) to ourselves.
so i guess basically what im trying to get at. is that it just really frustrates me when i see God moving, and just yearning for us, and all we do...is sit back and life this life for ourselves. yes, some of us claim to love him and have a relationship. but then there is thing called a wall. where we only go so far with him. we're not intimate like we were meant to in the very beginning. so if that's what how our rship was meant to be..WHY ARE WE NOT SEEKING THAT!!!
why are we just so non chalantly caring?!? why are we fighting for ourselves and not for God?!
does it mean anything to you that Jesus, a real man, like you, only perfect and holy, DIED A CRIMINAL DEATH ON A CROSS, for every wrong thing you have thought, acted on....EVERY wrong thing. does that mean anything to you? because if it did, surely you would be fighting for your God! for YOUR SAVIOR! He died, so that we can have that intimacy that we were created for. Yes, we do not deserve Jesus' love and grace...but thats what grace is. something we do not deserve. so why not embrace it? give in to your own selfish thoughts, ways. forget about yourself, becuase its not about you...not everything is about you. something i have learned in the past couple years! it is definately not about me. there is something greater here. so why aren't we seeking like we should be, why arent we fighting like we should be? why arent we surrendering like we should be. all for the Glory of God.
so thats my frustration i suppose. i could just go on and on. but it just hit me last night. people need to realize. people need their eyes opened. we need to not be afraid to scream the name of Jesus. to fight for Jesus. because He has and continues to fight for us. so we owe it to Him.
so i beg you. to pray for boldness. for yourselves and for Jesus followers. to speak in boldness and confidence about this man who died on a cross. about an intimate relationship with an indescribeable God! this is great stuff people! so why are we not all praising Him?! why are we just so mellow. we should be EXCITED. PASSIONATE! we are free. we are spotless. we are made whole. we have the love of the creator. the favor of the creator! this is something and someone worthy to shout about!
this world needs to be shaken. eyes need to be opened. Have Your Way God. You are Holy.Give us boldness. Give us a passion for your name. May the cry of our hearts, be to give you Praise. You alone are worthy Jesus.
not us. but You. may we surrender.
"Children get your hearts right. God's coming for his pure bride" (Leeland)
God is moving. He always is. Lately, I can just see it even more though.
This frustrates me.
Let me explain...
it does not frustrate me that God is moving. That thrills me and comforts me!
what frustrates me...is to see God moving...and people not responding.
I believe God has given me a feeling into what He has felt for millions of years, with the Israelites forsaking Him time and time again. Yet He always had mercy upon them, when they called out to Him.
But what gets me...right..
is how we(i am including myself in here. because i am found guilty as well) choose and TRY to fight for ourselves. for our own lives. for our own reputation. for our own feelings. for our own rights. last time i checked, 1. i dont have any rights. 2. feelings are deceptive. and 3. this life is not about us.
it all comes down to selfishness. and sin.
In the beginning, there was God. Garden of Eden. A place, where Adam was created in God's image. Eve, for his companion. We were created, for the sole purpose to live in intimacy with God. To live in Paradise. For enjoyment. and for Love. Then Sin entered the world. and this is another frustration: Sin is not Satan's fault. Sin is our own fault. Stop blaming Satan. I'm not sticking up for him here, I'm just trying to help people see how wretched we humans actually are. Satan is the tempter...we CHOOSE whether to give in, or to stand our ground. so therefore, sin is the humans fault. we did it (do it) to ourselves.
so i guess basically what im trying to get at. is that it just really frustrates me when i see God moving, and just yearning for us, and all we do...is sit back and life this life for ourselves. yes, some of us claim to love him and have a relationship. but then there is thing called a wall. where we only go so far with him. we're not intimate like we were meant to in the very beginning. so if that's what how our rship was meant to be..WHY ARE WE NOT SEEKING THAT!!!
why are we just so non chalantly caring?!? why are we fighting for ourselves and not for God?!
does it mean anything to you that Jesus, a real man, like you, only perfect and holy, DIED A CRIMINAL DEATH ON A CROSS, for every wrong thing you have thought, acted on....EVERY wrong thing. does that mean anything to you? because if it did, surely you would be fighting for your God! for YOUR SAVIOR! He died, so that we can have that intimacy that we were created for. Yes, we do not deserve Jesus' love and grace...but thats what grace is. something we do not deserve. so why not embrace it? give in to your own selfish thoughts, ways. forget about yourself, becuase its not about you...not everything is about you. something i have learned in the past couple years! it is definately not about me. there is something greater here. so why aren't we seeking like we should be, why arent we fighting like we should be? why arent we surrendering like we should be. all for the Glory of God.
so thats my frustration i suppose. i could just go on and on. but it just hit me last night. people need to realize. people need their eyes opened. we need to not be afraid to scream the name of Jesus. to fight for Jesus. because He has and continues to fight for us. so we owe it to Him.
so i beg you. to pray for boldness. for yourselves and for Jesus followers. to speak in boldness and confidence about this man who died on a cross. about an intimate relationship with an indescribeable God! this is great stuff people! so why are we not all praising Him?! why are we just so mellow. we should be EXCITED. PASSIONATE! we are free. we are spotless. we are made whole. we have the love of the creator. the favor of the creator! this is something and someone worthy to shout about!
this world needs to be shaken. eyes need to be opened. Have Your Way God. You are Holy.Give us boldness. Give us a passion for your name. May the cry of our hearts, be to give you Praise. You alone are worthy Jesus.
not us. but You. may we surrender.
"Children get your hearts right. God's coming for his pure bride" (Leeland)
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Realizations
So the last couple days, i've been frustrated. Because I find myself falling into these little holes. Little holes of temptations that are meaningless and pointless. but yet we all fall into them all the time. and we let them take hold of us. like if what we wanted to wear (and this could be cuz im a girl i dunno!)doesnt turn out the way you thought it would look, and therefore nothing else looks good...so it causes you to be upset...DUMB! or you get so caught up in making sure ppl know what they are doing, you know what you are doing, and that people know whats going on...that you let it get to you and therefore causes all the other little things to get to you...and hinders you...DUMB!
i HATE that i fall into those at times. and when I realize that yes, in fact, Jill, you have fallen into that trap, i feel like an idiot. Then I remember and feel like God is telling me, "I am greater" (JEsus talking here!). And He is. I believe that w all of my heart! I try to live that too wit hall that i am. it's just hard sometimes! Especially after being on such a high. But it is our choice. Our choice to have the attitude of Jesus Christ.
So I choose when those times come, when I can choose to stay in the temptation of emotion and frustration...or to go with Glorifying my Jesus and realizing that my confidence is in Him, and that because things are FOR HIM, of course they are goign to go okay! Duh Jill!
I choose to glorify God! I mean seriously!!
When we really realize, and let it sink in, what exactly Jesus did and continues to do for us. The freedom we have in Him. The new creation we are! We don't have to be the same people we were, we don't have to live in the crap that we are full of...when we REALIZE and choose to LIVE in that freedom...WOW! You can't help but want to bring Glory to God.
So my life: is to Glorify God. That is my mission. In all I am. All i say. All i do. All i think. My attitude. EVERYTHING. ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING! is for Him. Because of the freedom He has given me. Incredible...
If only we took the time to remember that every day. Our lives would seriously be changed.
So i challenge you, every morning. Take time to Remember Jesus and the cross. and Realize what it means for you. Accept that love. And Live that Love! Because that is what we are here for. To Glorify God. To give up our lives. Jesus was our example. Are we following Him?!?!
Jesus is worth all that I have and am. and more.
Isaiah 53 Read It.
"Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows. yet we considered him stricken by God. smitten by him and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions. he was crushed for our iniquities the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed...."
insane. amazing. immense. outstanding. something this would cannot grasp. something this world absolutely cannot understand. this is a Love not like the world knows. It should be though. Are we living this love?! Are we giving this Man, the glory and honor He deserves?! Or are we trying to serve ourselves and please ourselves?! Why please ourselves when this Man surrendered Himself for our sins?! SERIOUSLY PEOPLE!!! we need to get over ourselves. we have nothing on this earth. it will all end. so why hold onto things. the only thing we should be holding onto, is Jesus. Is love. It's the only thing that will last! FOREVER!
Life of Love. In community. In communion with the Man who set you free. I cannot think of a better way to live my life.
"
i HATE that i fall into those at times. and when I realize that yes, in fact, Jill, you have fallen into that trap, i feel like an idiot. Then I remember and feel like God is telling me, "I am greater" (JEsus talking here!). And He is. I believe that w all of my heart! I try to live that too wit hall that i am. it's just hard sometimes! Especially after being on such a high. But it is our choice. Our choice to have the attitude of Jesus Christ.
So I choose when those times come, when I can choose to stay in the temptation of emotion and frustration...or to go with Glorifying my Jesus and realizing that my confidence is in Him, and that because things are FOR HIM, of course they are goign to go okay! Duh Jill!
I choose to glorify God! I mean seriously!!
When we really realize, and let it sink in, what exactly Jesus did and continues to do for us. The freedom we have in Him. The new creation we are! We don't have to be the same people we were, we don't have to live in the crap that we are full of...when we REALIZE and choose to LIVE in that freedom...WOW! You can't help but want to bring Glory to God.
So my life: is to Glorify God. That is my mission. In all I am. All i say. All i do. All i think. My attitude. EVERYTHING. ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING! is for Him. Because of the freedom He has given me. Incredible...
If only we took the time to remember that every day. Our lives would seriously be changed.
So i challenge you, every morning. Take time to Remember Jesus and the cross. and Realize what it means for you. Accept that love. And Live that Love! Because that is what we are here for. To Glorify God. To give up our lives. Jesus was our example. Are we following Him?!?!
Jesus is worth all that I have and am. and more.
Isaiah 53 Read It.
"Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows. yet we considered him stricken by God. smitten by him and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions. he was crushed for our iniquities the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed...."
insane. amazing. immense. outstanding. something this would cannot grasp. something this world absolutely cannot understand. this is a Love not like the world knows. It should be though. Are we living this love?! Are we giving this Man, the glory and honor He deserves?! Or are we trying to serve ourselves and please ourselves?! Why please ourselves when this Man surrendered Himself for our sins?! SERIOUSLY PEOPLE!!! we need to get over ourselves. we have nothing on this earth. it will all end. so why hold onto things. the only thing we should be holding onto, is Jesus. Is love. It's the only thing that will last! FOREVER!
Life of Love. In community. In communion with the Man who set you free. I cannot think of a better way to live my life.
"
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Broken Things
This morning I got up at 6am. Went to the beach, ready to look for some awesome seashells!
The sunrose, it was beautiful. I could do this everyday.
But as i was looking at all the seashells washed up on shore, and there were LOTS! I started picking some up. So many of them, are broken, or chipped. And it got me thinking, the broken ones, we tend to throw back...because we don't want them, because they don't look as nice as the full ones. My favorite shells, are the ones that kinda wrap around each other that your supposed to hear the ocean in...only there arent big enough ones i can find.....for free..lol (im prayin bout this one!) but i love those ones. but they are fragile i think, that the only ones you see, are the small ones and they are all broken....
so we throw them back. because who wants a broken sea shell?! (unless its so unique and one of a kind that u cant throw it back!)
and i was thinking. we do the same w people. broken ppl...we tend to push aside. ignore. walk away from. because we don't want something thats broken. we don't want to fix it, or don't know how to fix it, (or them).
but God LOVES broken people. broken things. Because He is the ultimate fixer! Healer.
So why do we throw back the broken ones?! Why don't we embrace the broken things(ones) like God does?! We have to be willing to get dirty, sandy, for the beauty of the brokenness.
Because let's face it, all we have to do, is look deeper into something broken, and i can promise you, that you will see something beautiful.
There is beauty, found in the broken. In the chipped. In the cracked.
The sunrose, it was beautiful. I could do this everyday.
But as i was looking at all the seashells washed up on shore, and there were LOTS! I started picking some up. So many of them, are broken, or chipped. And it got me thinking, the broken ones, we tend to throw back...because we don't want them, because they don't look as nice as the full ones. My favorite shells, are the ones that kinda wrap around each other that your supposed to hear the ocean in...only there arent big enough ones i can find.....for free..lol (im prayin bout this one!) but i love those ones. but they are fragile i think, that the only ones you see, are the small ones and they are all broken....
so we throw them back. because who wants a broken sea shell?! (unless its so unique and one of a kind that u cant throw it back!)
and i was thinking. we do the same w people. broken ppl...we tend to push aside. ignore. walk away from. because we don't want something thats broken. we don't want to fix it, or don't know how to fix it, (or them).
but God LOVES broken people. broken things. Because He is the ultimate fixer! Healer.
So why do we throw back the broken ones?! Why don't we embrace the broken things(ones) like God does?! We have to be willing to get dirty, sandy, for the beauty of the brokenness.
Because let's face it, all we have to do, is look deeper into something broken, and i can promise you, that you will see something beautiful.
There is beauty, found in the broken. In the chipped. In the cracked.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Do you glorify God?
Does your life glorify God?!
When I say life...i of course, mean every part of your life.
God has been speaking to me about glorifying Him lately.
So i ask you, does your life glorify God?!
What you spend your money on, where you go, what you watch, what you listen to, what you read, what you say, what you think, your attitude, how you react, how you interact....are you glorifying God?! are you trying or even wanting to glorify God?!
Because Jesus died on the cross that you can be COMPLETELY free and He deserves our every praise. our ever effort. and we forget that. we don't do ALL that we can...
so i challenge you, like God is challenging me. Live your life, every single part of your life and who you are, so that God can be glorified.
When I say life...i of course, mean every part of your life.
God has been speaking to me about glorifying Him lately.
So i ask you, does your life glorify God?!
What you spend your money on, where you go, what you watch, what you listen to, what you read, what you say, what you think, your attitude, how you react, how you interact....are you glorifying God?! are you trying or even wanting to glorify God?!
Because Jesus died on the cross that you can be COMPLETELY free and He deserves our every praise. our ever effort. and we forget that. we don't do ALL that we can...
so i challenge you, like God is challenging me. Live your life, every single part of your life and who you are, so that God can be glorified.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I've been thinking...like normal.
But this is my conclusion.
God's will is being done. Amongst all the questions, all the sadness, all the dysfunction, all the evil, and the pain, and hurt and frustration...God's will is being done!
And I feel so good about that! And I and others are not bound by what is happening around us and in us. We are not bound by it, therefore it does not control us. Because God controls us. There is joy amonst the sadness and frustration, rather than living it, we live in the freedom Jesus bought for us! Tis the greatest thing!
Praise God for Freedom. For Jesus. For His Spirit. For His ways, His control, His faithfulness to those who are faithful to Him. and His love and grace and joy. Ugh. I just love love LOVE living with God in my life! No better way.
11Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him; 12if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; 13if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.
2 Timothy 2:11-13
But this is my conclusion.
God's will is being done. Amongst all the questions, all the sadness, all the dysfunction, all the evil, and the pain, and hurt and frustration...God's will is being done!
And I feel so good about that! And I and others are not bound by what is happening around us and in us. We are not bound by it, therefore it does not control us. Because God controls us. There is joy amonst the sadness and frustration, rather than living it, we live in the freedom Jesus bought for us! Tis the greatest thing!
Praise God for Freedom. For Jesus. For His Spirit. For His ways, His control, His faithfulness to those who are faithful to Him. and His love and grace and joy. Ugh. I just love love LOVE living with God in my life! No better way.
11Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him; 12if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; 13if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.
2 Timothy 2:11-13
Friday, June 5, 2009
God is Enough.
I want to start off by quoting a line from a song...called Beloved by 10th Avenue North.
the lyric is..
"Love of my life, look deep in my eyes there you will find what you need..."
This is being said as if Jesus were saying it to us. To me. I have everything that I need, in Jesus. His love is all I need, is what should get me through, is what gives me my worth and makes me beautiful, inside and out. His love, His being, is what makes me who I am, is all that I need to get through a day, to love other people, to have confidence, to be friendly, to be interested....everything.
In God's love, in His eyes, we will find what it is we need....
to glorify Him, to live a life of purpose and of love.
God is enough. God(in all He is) is what we need. Is what I need. All I need. and That should be enough. His love, should be enough. Can we say that for our own lives?! Can we tell God in all honesty that He truly is enough for us?! Does our lives, show God and other people, that He is enough?! Do we give in to ourselves or to God?! Do we stay in our little bubble or go out of the bubble (aka comfort zone) and show God that we WANT Him, and that Jesus' love really is enough for us!
I pray mine does. I believe wholeheartedly that my Jesus is more than enough for me! I know it. I believe it. I am doing my best to live it! But once again, I can't do anything w/o Him. The Spirit (my partner) is what empowers me to live a life of devotion and love...(that's a whole other entry). But my Jesus is enough....
Then in my devotions this morning...it talked about Jesus and the rich man.
Mark 10:17-23 (New International Version)
The Rich Young Man 17As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. "Good teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
18"Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good—except God alone. 19You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.'[a]"
20"Teacher," he declared, "all these I have kept since I was a boy."
21Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
22At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.
23Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!"
Jesus wasn't enough for the rich man. He enjoyed His "stuff" too much. And what we hold onto, what we WANT...is worthless unless it is wanting more of Jesus, holding onto Jesus.
I know I want so many things in this world...clothes, dvds, new car, food...necessary things and unnessary things...but all of this world and all things that I will not take with me to heaven.
So why do I want them so bad?! Why do I wish I had more money so that I could go shopping or so that I could buy something new, which I really don't need?! It's not gonna get me anywhere. It will only satisfy me for what, a couple weeks?!?!
Why can't we just be content and happy with what God gives us. Why do we always want more of this world, and not more of Jesus?! Or, we want more of both...we can't have more of both.
One or the other.
So really, which do we want more of?! Which are we willing to let go of?!
Is God enough?! Is not buying all the new toys, not spending your money on clothes or cds or dvds all the time worth it for more of Jesus?!
It is for me. It's just time to live that out.
Jesus is calling us to more....yes we lose out on some of this stuff of the world...we need to sacrifice...but look at the sacrifice that Jesus made.....
and look where we will be in the end...face to face....in full glory....Jesus is worth it. Sacrifice is worth it. Uncomfortableness is worth it. Stretch marks in our lives, are way worth it!
Praise God today. Because He chose you. He wants to embrace you with His love. He wants more of you. He wants to bring you to himself. He wants more for you!
Embrace Him. Everything about Him. Because He IS, Enough.
For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21
the lyric is..
"Love of my life, look deep in my eyes there you will find what you need..."
This is being said as if Jesus were saying it to us. To me. I have everything that I need, in Jesus. His love is all I need, is what should get me through, is what gives me my worth and makes me beautiful, inside and out. His love, His being, is what makes me who I am, is all that I need to get through a day, to love other people, to have confidence, to be friendly, to be interested....everything.
In God's love, in His eyes, we will find what it is we need....
to glorify Him, to live a life of purpose and of love.
God is enough. God(in all He is) is what we need. Is what I need. All I need. and That should be enough. His love, should be enough. Can we say that for our own lives?! Can we tell God in all honesty that He truly is enough for us?! Does our lives, show God and other people, that He is enough?! Do we give in to ourselves or to God?! Do we stay in our little bubble or go out of the bubble (aka comfort zone) and show God that we WANT Him, and that Jesus' love really is enough for us!
I pray mine does. I believe wholeheartedly that my Jesus is more than enough for me! I know it. I believe it. I am doing my best to live it! But once again, I can't do anything w/o Him. The Spirit (my partner) is what empowers me to live a life of devotion and love...(that's a whole other entry). But my Jesus is enough....
Then in my devotions this morning...it talked about Jesus and the rich man.
Mark 10:17-23 (New International Version)
The Rich Young Man 17As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. "Good teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
18"Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good—except God alone. 19You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.'[a]"
20"Teacher," he declared, "all these I have kept since I was a boy."
21Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
22At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.
23Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!"
Jesus wasn't enough for the rich man. He enjoyed His "stuff" too much. And what we hold onto, what we WANT...is worthless unless it is wanting more of Jesus, holding onto Jesus.
I know I want so many things in this world...clothes, dvds, new car, food...necessary things and unnessary things...but all of this world and all things that I will not take with me to heaven.
So why do I want them so bad?! Why do I wish I had more money so that I could go shopping or so that I could buy something new, which I really don't need?! It's not gonna get me anywhere. It will only satisfy me for what, a couple weeks?!?!
Why can't we just be content and happy with what God gives us. Why do we always want more of this world, and not more of Jesus?! Or, we want more of both...we can't have more of both.
One or the other.
So really, which do we want more of?! Which are we willing to let go of?!
Is God enough?! Is not buying all the new toys, not spending your money on clothes or cds or dvds all the time worth it for more of Jesus?!
It is for me. It's just time to live that out.
Jesus is calling us to more....yes we lose out on some of this stuff of the world...we need to sacrifice...but look at the sacrifice that Jesus made.....
and look where we will be in the end...face to face....in full glory....Jesus is worth it. Sacrifice is worth it. Uncomfortableness is worth it. Stretch marks in our lives, are way worth it!
Praise God today. Because He chose you. He wants to embrace you with His love. He wants more of you. He wants to bring you to himself. He wants more for you!
Embrace Him. Everything about Him. Because He IS, Enough.
For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Response
Tonight I was looking at Tenth Avenue North's website because I bought their cd last weekend, and it is amazing (go check it out) and one of the bandmates wrote a blog today. and in it...he said this...
"To be a Christian to to live a life of response."
the last week or so, I have been questioning myself on if my life speaks God, speaks Jesus, speaks truth, and if I DO what I know I am called to do, if I DO what Jesus did, if I DO whatever the Holy Spirit urges me to, to say.....
because sometimes, okay a lot of times, i don't do a great job.
For those of you who really know me, I'm not the type of person who finds it easy to express my feelings to people, to confront people, to show my love/emotions to people in front of them. its just hard for me. but a lot easier than it used to be.
but i feel called and have a desire to encourage people. i have a desire to have Jesus shining through my life so that people can see I am different.
I just want Jesus to shine in my life.
and i guess I sometimes fear that I am not shining, that I am not acting on what God is teaching me and showing me. and sometimes I respond too late...i always think of things to do or say AFTER the situation is passed...but i just gotta learn to make God even more a part of my day, even more a part of my mind and my thoughts! just have to trust that in that present time, what happened is what God allowed and still made a different positively somehow.
It is still a reponse. I just want my reponse to be right, to be full of God and glorifying God.
But i know that God is forever shining! and I thank Him for that! and I also think that if God is really speaking to you strongly, and you feel really passioniate about something, you can't help but act on it.
So i guess now my prayer is that God just births more passion into my life each day! so that I can act more, and be more obedient, and Shine. and glorify God. So that's God's glory can be known!
I love what he said in that quote because it is so true. It is all a response. A response to what Jesus did on the cross. A response to God's love. A response to choices. A response to love other people, to know what love truly is because of God. A response to act. To allow change, and to respond what God is telling you, what is going on in your life...a response to be obedient....a response on how to live your life because of the Wonder who created you!!
so our life is a response. a response to God and Him in our lives ultimately.
I guess the whole point of this is...I want my life to be a response to God. to make a difference. to Shine for Him. for Him to Shine through all things.
"To be a Christian to to live a life of response."
the last week or so, I have been questioning myself on if my life speaks God, speaks Jesus, speaks truth, and if I DO what I know I am called to do, if I DO what Jesus did, if I DO whatever the Holy Spirit urges me to, to say.....
because sometimes, okay a lot of times, i don't do a great job.
For those of you who really know me, I'm not the type of person who finds it easy to express my feelings to people, to confront people, to show my love/emotions to people in front of them. its just hard for me. but a lot easier than it used to be.
but i feel called and have a desire to encourage people. i have a desire to have Jesus shining through my life so that people can see I am different.
I just want Jesus to shine in my life.
and i guess I sometimes fear that I am not shining, that I am not acting on what God is teaching me and showing me. and sometimes I respond too late...i always think of things to do or say AFTER the situation is passed...but i just gotta learn to make God even more a part of my day, even more a part of my mind and my thoughts! just have to trust that in that present time, what happened is what God allowed and still made a different positively somehow.
It is still a reponse. I just want my reponse to be right, to be full of God and glorifying God.
But i know that God is forever shining! and I thank Him for that! and I also think that if God is really speaking to you strongly, and you feel really passioniate about something, you can't help but act on it.
So i guess now my prayer is that God just births more passion into my life each day! so that I can act more, and be more obedient, and Shine. and glorify God. So that's God's glory can be known!
I love what he said in that quote because it is so true. It is all a response. A response to what Jesus did on the cross. A response to God's love. A response to choices. A response to love other people, to know what love truly is because of God. A response to act. To allow change, and to respond what God is telling you, what is going on in your life...a response to be obedient....a response on how to live your life because of the Wonder who created you!!
so our life is a response. a response to God and Him in our lives ultimately.
I guess the whole point of this is...I want my life to be a response to God. to make a difference. to Shine for Him. for Him to Shine through all things.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
The Click
Northern Ireland:
My second home. I adore this place. But even more, I adore the people from this place. The people I have created relationships with. old and new.
my good friend brought up to me the other night, that no matter how long you go from seeing people or even talking to people, you know you have a great friendship if you can be away for so long and pick up right where you left off with life going on in between.
God has completely blessed me with the most amazing relationships. here and at home. and i know that he will continue too. and i am excited.
it really saddens me to leave them all again. and i am determined to keep in touch better...becasue keeping in touch is not my strong point at all. so i need to work on that! i want to work on that!
but one thing ive realized...this trip has helped me realize. is that i didnt necessarily need to come back to be healed from what happened to me and what i went through. jesus has already set me free! i was already living in that freedom and healing! coming here wasnt even really for me at all. but for other people. i realized (and this may sound a bit conceited...) that life went on for these kids without me. they grew up, God protected them and strengthened them. and it is incredible! God looks after your work. and blessed the relationships!! so encouraging.
i jsut cant thank God enough or even say enough how much i adore these relationships. every single one of them. they mean so much to me. and have brought me so much life.
one thing that God has kinda put on my heart. is all about the holy spirit. within the last few months. really been realizing the holy spirit is there. and just longing for more of him to be alive in me. surrender and sacrifice to living in the spirit and in relationship with jesus and in reverence to God is a daily thing. i just want to grow and grow.
to not have any expectations of my life. to not have plans...because by me having plans for my life...is putting God's plans out of the picture. which God's plans are much better than mine ever could be and He is the creator so I kinda want Him in control of my life!!
i just wanna grow. and be and live in relationship with God and the trinity and to just go day by day and surrender daily.
we are constantly impacting people.
i want to be an encourager. i realized the other night that maybe a part of God's calling on my life is to encourage ppl. to disciple people and to stretch and push them. to help them be who God wants them to be. to help them share what God has laid on their heart with others. i love being that person. i feel empowered by it.
and ive finally realized...i mean...ive known this for a while..cuz God keeps hinting at it...but ive just never really accepted it because I don't really want it...but i know God is calling me into some kind of leadership. which scares me. because I don't see myself as a leader...i dont want to be known as a leader...ive always seen myself as a follower. and i always will be some kind of follower. but God always seems to do somethin in my life to where I have to lead something...or take charge. and a lot of times...i try to hide from it. which doesnt work very well.
and tonight...i just let it go. If God wants me to be in leadership, I will be in leadership. Ive come to terms that i just may need to. and i do enjoy it to an extent! so we will see what God does with my life and where He leads it!
so this has just been kinda randomness...but its all whats on my heart. my heart is overflowing. and my mind is so full of thoughts!! like always. but this is good stuff!! i dont even know what all to write cuz there is so much!
i love conversations. especially focused on God. my life needs to be more focused on God. i want to be consumed by Him! to naturally be controlled and thinking of His ways!!
My second home. I adore this place. But even more, I adore the people from this place. The people I have created relationships with. old and new.
my good friend brought up to me the other night, that no matter how long you go from seeing people or even talking to people, you know you have a great friendship if you can be away for so long and pick up right where you left off with life going on in between.
God has completely blessed me with the most amazing relationships. here and at home. and i know that he will continue too. and i am excited.
it really saddens me to leave them all again. and i am determined to keep in touch better...becasue keeping in touch is not my strong point at all. so i need to work on that! i want to work on that!
but one thing ive realized...this trip has helped me realize. is that i didnt necessarily need to come back to be healed from what happened to me and what i went through. jesus has already set me free! i was already living in that freedom and healing! coming here wasnt even really for me at all. but for other people. i realized (and this may sound a bit conceited...) that life went on for these kids without me. they grew up, God protected them and strengthened them. and it is incredible! God looks after your work. and blessed the relationships!! so encouraging.
i jsut cant thank God enough or even say enough how much i adore these relationships. every single one of them. they mean so much to me. and have brought me so much life.
one thing that God has kinda put on my heart. is all about the holy spirit. within the last few months. really been realizing the holy spirit is there. and just longing for more of him to be alive in me. surrender and sacrifice to living in the spirit and in relationship with jesus and in reverence to God is a daily thing. i just want to grow and grow.
to not have any expectations of my life. to not have plans...because by me having plans for my life...is putting God's plans out of the picture. which God's plans are much better than mine ever could be and He is the creator so I kinda want Him in control of my life!!
i just wanna grow. and be and live in relationship with God and the trinity and to just go day by day and surrender daily.
we are constantly impacting people.
i want to be an encourager. i realized the other night that maybe a part of God's calling on my life is to encourage ppl. to disciple people and to stretch and push them. to help them be who God wants them to be. to help them share what God has laid on their heart with others. i love being that person. i feel empowered by it.
and ive finally realized...i mean...ive known this for a while..cuz God keeps hinting at it...but ive just never really accepted it because I don't really want it...but i know God is calling me into some kind of leadership. which scares me. because I don't see myself as a leader...i dont want to be known as a leader...ive always seen myself as a follower. and i always will be some kind of follower. but God always seems to do somethin in my life to where I have to lead something...or take charge. and a lot of times...i try to hide from it. which doesnt work very well.
and tonight...i just let it go. If God wants me to be in leadership, I will be in leadership. Ive come to terms that i just may need to. and i do enjoy it to an extent! so we will see what God does with my life and where He leads it!
so this has just been kinda randomness...but its all whats on my heart. my heart is overflowing. and my mind is so full of thoughts!! like always. but this is good stuff!! i dont even know what all to write cuz there is so much!
i love conversations. especially focused on God. my life needs to be more focused on God. i want to be consumed by Him! to naturally be controlled and thinking of His ways!!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Feels So Good
So here I am back in the office where I would come to 4 days out of a week.
Brings back memories. :) Good and bad!
but I focus on the good.
It feels just like i have never left. I feel peaceful and just great. I love these people with all my heart. People have changed, the places have changed a bit. People grow up! Its a part of life. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! Growing up is great! A good thing! Especially with younger people.
:)
Peacefulness is my feeling for this month I think.
Been reading a bunch of the Psalms this last wee while. So amazing. Just how God is our rock, He is our Salvation. Under His fortress we will never move and will never be shattered!!
I love it. I love Jesus!
Was talking to Jude last week after Tina and I spoke at YF just about the past year and all. and my relationship with God.
With how before it was more of just a relationship. where now, it is in the midst of turning into not just a relationship, but more spiritual. more than it ever has been or was before.
and i had never thought about that. but it is so true. and I cannot wiat for this spiritual bit of our relatinoship to continue to grow! More God. More Jesus. More Holy Spirit!
yay!
Brings back memories. :) Good and bad!
but I focus on the good.
It feels just like i have never left. I feel peaceful and just great. I love these people with all my heart. People have changed, the places have changed a bit. People grow up! Its a part of life. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! Growing up is great! A good thing! Especially with younger people.
:)
Peacefulness is my feeling for this month I think.
Been reading a bunch of the Psalms this last wee while. So amazing. Just how God is our rock, He is our Salvation. Under His fortress we will never move and will never be shattered!!
I love it. I love Jesus!
Was talking to Jude last week after Tina and I spoke at YF just about the past year and all. and my relationship with God.
With how before it was more of just a relationship. where now, it is in the midst of turning into not just a relationship, but more spiritual. more than it ever has been or was before.
and i had never thought about that. but it is so true. and I cannot wiat for this spiritual bit of our relatinoship to continue to grow! More God. More Jesus. More Holy Spirit!
yay!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Traveling Back In Time to Move Forward
So tomorrow afternoon I leave to go back to NIreland! The land that i love. My second family/home.
I'm excited, nervous, scared, relieved, excited...lol
I'm expecting a lot out of this trip. I am expecting to truly come to peace with myself and what has happened in my life and what I have been through the last couple years. I am expecting to hear from God like never before and to gain in wisdom, understanding, knowledge, and contentment, love, and confidence. in who i am. and in who God is.
I expect a lot. I am excited for a lot. I am excited to see everyone again. To be honest, i am nervous that things will be a bit weird, but they will only be that way if i make them. and i sure am not going to.
I am nervous for flying..flying and airports just always make me uneasy and nervous that something is going to go wrong...so please pray about that!
also please pray that the whole month and trip will be an inspiration. and a time for God to really reveal himself to me, and to tina, and to for it to be a blessing.
that the people, the country, will be a blessing and we as well will be a blessing.
oh i cant wait! there is just so much emotion and so many different feelings in me right now! its kinda crazy! i dunno how to describe it or put into words.
But, i just know this is going to be an amazing trip. and i keep praying that it will be more than i even expect!
May God Shine.
I'm excited, nervous, scared, relieved, excited...lol
I'm expecting a lot out of this trip. I am expecting to truly come to peace with myself and what has happened in my life and what I have been through the last couple years. I am expecting to hear from God like never before and to gain in wisdom, understanding, knowledge, and contentment, love, and confidence. in who i am. and in who God is.
I expect a lot. I am excited for a lot. I am excited to see everyone again. To be honest, i am nervous that things will be a bit weird, but they will only be that way if i make them. and i sure am not going to.
I am nervous for flying..flying and airports just always make me uneasy and nervous that something is going to go wrong...so please pray about that!
also please pray that the whole month and trip will be an inspiration. and a time for God to really reveal himself to me, and to tina, and to for it to be a blessing.
that the people, the country, will be a blessing and we as well will be a blessing.
oh i cant wait! there is just so much emotion and so many different feelings in me right now! its kinda crazy! i dunno how to describe it or put into words.
But, i just know this is going to be an amazing trip. and i keep praying that it will be more than i even expect!
May God Shine.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Forigving and Forgetting
Chapter 19 He Forgot
From "God Came Near' by Max Lucado
I was thanking the Father today for his mercy. I began listing the sins he'd forgiven. One by one I thanked God for forgiving my stumbles and tumbles. My motives were pure and my heart was thankful, but my understanding of God was wrong. It was when I used the word remember that it hit me.
"Remember the time I...." I was about to thank God for another act of mercy. But i stopped. Something was wrong. The word remember seemed displaced. It was an off-key note in a sonata, a misspelled word in a poem. It was a baseball game in December. It didn't fit. "Deso he remember?"
Then I remembered his words. "And i will remember their sins no more."
Wow! Now, that is a remarkable phrase!
God doesn't just forgive, he forgets. He erases the board. He destroys the evidence. He burns the microfilm. He clears the computer.
He doesn't remember my mistakes. For all the things he does do, this is one thing he refuses to do. He refuses to keep a list of my wrongs. When I ask for forigveness he doesn't pull out a clipboard and say "But I've already forgiven him for that five hundred and sixteen times."
He doesn't remember.
"As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." "I will be merciful toward their iniquities." "Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool."
No, he doesn't remember. But i do, you do. You still remember. You're like me. You still remember what you did before you changed. In the cellar of your heart lurk the ghosts of yesterday's sins. Sins you've confessed; errors of which you've repented; damage you've done your best to repair.
And though you're a different person, the ghosts still linger. Thou you've locked the basement door, they still haunt you. They float to meet you, spooking your soul and robbing your joy. With wordless whispers they remind you of moments when you forgot whose child you were.
That horrid lie.
That business trip you took away from home, that took you so far away from home.
The time you exploded in anger.
Those years spent in the hollow of Satan's hand.
That day you were needed, but didn't respond.
That date.
That jealousy.
That habit.
Poltergeists from yesterdays pitfalls. Spiteful specters that slyly sugges, 'Are you really forgiven? Sure, God forgets most of our mistakes, but do you think he oculd actually forget the time you..."
As a result, your spiritual walk has a slight limp. Oh, you're still faithful. You still do all the right things and say all the right words. But just when you begin to make strides, just when your wings begin to spread and you prepare to soar like an eagle, the ghost appears. It emerges from the swamps of your soul and causes you to question yourself.
"You can't teach a bible class with your background."
"You, a missionary?"
"How dare you ask him to come to church. What if he finds out about the time you fell away?"
"Who are YOU to offer help?"
The ghost spews wapish words of accusation, defeaning your ears to the promises of the cross. And it flaunts your failures in your face, blocking your vision of the Son and leaving you the shadow of a doubt.
Now, honestly. Do you think God sent that ghost? Do you think God is the voice that reminds you of the putridness of your past? Do you think God was teasing when he said "I will remember your sins no more!?" Was he exaggerating when he said he woulkd cast our sins as fara s the east is from the west? Do you actually believe he would make a statment like "I will not hold their iniquities against them" and then rub our noses in them whenever we ask for help?
Of course you don't. You and I just need an occasional reminder of God's nature, his forgetful nature.
To love conditionally is against God's nature. Just as it's against your nature to eat trees and against mine to grow wings, it's against God's nature to remember forgiven sins.
You see, God is either the God of perfect grace...or he is not God. Grace forgets. Period. He who is perfect love cannot hold grudges. If he does, then he isn't perfect love. And if he isn't perfect love, you might as well put this book down and go fishing because both of us are chasing fairy tales.
But i believe in his loving forgetfulness. and i believe he has a graciously terrible memory.
Think about this. If he didn't forget, how could we pray? How could we sing to him? Giw ciykd we dare enter into his presence if the moment he saw us he remembered all our pitiful past? How could we enter his throne room wearing the rags of our selfishness and gluttony? We couldn't.
And we don't. read this powerful passage from Paul's letter to the Galations and watch your pulse rate. You're in for a thrill. "For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have PUT ON Christ."
You read it right. We have "put on' Christ. When God looks at us he doesn't see us; he sees Christ. We "wear" him. We are hidden in him; we are covered by him. As the song says, "Dressed in his righteousness alone, faultless to stand before the throne."
Presumptuous, you say? Sacriligious? It would be if it were my idea. But it isn't; it's his. We are presumptuous not when we marvel at his grace, but when we reject it. And we're sacrilegious not when we claim his forgiveness, but when we allow the haunting sins of yesterday to convince us that God forgives but he doesn't forget.
Do yourself a favor. Purge your cellar. Exorcise your basement. Take the ROman nails of Calvary and board up the door. And remember....he forgot.
I just wanted to share that chapter with you. Because forgiving is hard. Forgetting is even harder. Forgetting our sins, Forgetting what others have done to us, what we have done to others. But if we forgive, we have to forget. They go together. You can't hold grudges, or things against ppl, or even agaisnt yourself. Because God doesn't. It's not glorifying Jesus by not forgiving yourself or others and letting those things go. It's telling Him His grace is not enough.
I've been there. It sucks. But for freedom and life, we have to forgive. We have to forget. and we HAVE to live in Christ's grace. He longs for us too.
From "God Came Near' by Max Lucado
I was thanking the Father today for his mercy. I began listing the sins he'd forgiven. One by one I thanked God for forgiving my stumbles and tumbles. My motives were pure and my heart was thankful, but my understanding of God was wrong. It was when I used the word remember that it hit me.
"Remember the time I...." I was about to thank God for another act of mercy. But i stopped. Something was wrong. The word remember seemed displaced. It was an off-key note in a sonata, a misspelled word in a poem. It was a baseball game in December. It didn't fit. "Deso he remember?"
Then I remembered his words. "And i will remember their sins no more."
Wow! Now, that is a remarkable phrase!
God doesn't just forgive, he forgets. He erases the board. He destroys the evidence. He burns the microfilm. He clears the computer.
He doesn't remember my mistakes. For all the things he does do, this is one thing he refuses to do. He refuses to keep a list of my wrongs. When I ask for forigveness he doesn't pull out a clipboard and say "But I've already forgiven him for that five hundred and sixteen times."
He doesn't remember.
"As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." "I will be merciful toward their iniquities." "Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool."
No, he doesn't remember. But i do, you do. You still remember. You're like me. You still remember what you did before you changed. In the cellar of your heart lurk the ghosts of yesterday's sins. Sins you've confessed; errors of which you've repented; damage you've done your best to repair.
And though you're a different person, the ghosts still linger. Thou you've locked the basement door, they still haunt you. They float to meet you, spooking your soul and robbing your joy. With wordless whispers they remind you of moments when you forgot whose child you were.
That horrid lie.
That business trip you took away from home, that took you so far away from home.
The time you exploded in anger.
Those years spent in the hollow of Satan's hand.
That day you were needed, but didn't respond.
That date.
That jealousy.
That habit.
Poltergeists from yesterdays pitfalls. Spiteful specters that slyly sugges, 'Are you really forgiven? Sure, God forgets most of our mistakes, but do you think he oculd actually forget the time you..."
As a result, your spiritual walk has a slight limp. Oh, you're still faithful. You still do all the right things and say all the right words. But just when you begin to make strides, just when your wings begin to spread and you prepare to soar like an eagle, the ghost appears. It emerges from the swamps of your soul and causes you to question yourself.
"You can't teach a bible class with your background."
"You, a missionary?"
"How dare you ask him to come to church. What if he finds out about the time you fell away?"
"Who are YOU to offer help?"
The ghost spews wapish words of accusation, defeaning your ears to the promises of the cross. And it flaunts your failures in your face, blocking your vision of the Son and leaving you the shadow of a doubt.
Now, honestly. Do you think God sent that ghost? Do you think God is the voice that reminds you of the putridness of your past? Do you think God was teasing when he said "I will remember your sins no more!?" Was he exaggerating when he said he woulkd cast our sins as fara s the east is from the west? Do you actually believe he would make a statment like "I will not hold their iniquities against them" and then rub our noses in them whenever we ask for help?
Of course you don't. You and I just need an occasional reminder of God's nature, his forgetful nature.
To love conditionally is against God's nature. Just as it's against your nature to eat trees and against mine to grow wings, it's against God's nature to remember forgiven sins.
You see, God is either the God of perfect grace...or he is not God. Grace forgets. Period. He who is perfect love cannot hold grudges. If he does, then he isn't perfect love. And if he isn't perfect love, you might as well put this book down and go fishing because both of us are chasing fairy tales.
But i believe in his loving forgetfulness. and i believe he has a graciously terrible memory.
Think about this. If he didn't forget, how could we pray? How could we sing to him? Giw ciykd we dare enter into his presence if the moment he saw us he remembered all our pitiful past? How could we enter his throne room wearing the rags of our selfishness and gluttony? We couldn't.
And we don't. read this powerful passage from Paul's letter to the Galations and watch your pulse rate. You're in for a thrill. "For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have PUT ON Christ."
You read it right. We have "put on' Christ. When God looks at us he doesn't see us; he sees Christ. We "wear" him. We are hidden in him; we are covered by him. As the song says, "Dressed in his righteousness alone, faultless to stand before the throne."
Presumptuous, you say? Sacriligious? It would be if it were my idea. But it isn't; it's his. We are presumptuous not when we marvel at his grace, but when we reject it. And we're sacrilegious not when we claim his forgiveness, but when we allow the haunting sins of yesterday to convince us that God forgives but he doesn't forget.
Do yourself a favor. Purge your cellar. Exorcise your basement. Take the ROman nails of Calvary and board up the door. And remember....he forgot.
I just wanted to share that chapter with you. Because forgiving is hard. Forgetting is even harder. Forgetting our sins, Forgetting what others have done to us, what we have done to others. But if we forgive, we have to forget. They go together. You can't hold grudges, or things against ppl, or even agaisnt yourself. Because God doesn't. It's not glorifying Jesus by not forgiving yourself or others and letting those things go. It's telling Him His grace is not enough.
I've been there. It sucks. But for freedom and life, we have to forgive. We have to forget. and we HAVE to live in Christ's grace. He longs for us too.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Letting Go
So, for the past week or so, I have finally realized how much fear is actually in my life, and how I have just pushed it deep down into my soul, until it arises. and when it does, it's not good.
I have now realized this...and it needs to be let go of!
I have realized, that I have a fear (that has been with me since the beginning) of making a mistake, of messing up, of ruining things. I somehow expect myself to be perfect. Which of course, is never going to happen. But I just assume that if I mess up, I have ruined my whole life, and just everything and that God is ticked at me. I am waaaay to hard on myself.
But i know that nobody except my Jesus is perfect! and I know that because of Jesus, i can be perfect, with my imperfections through righteousness. (if that makes sense) :)
I just need to let this fear go! and let this fear let go of me.
I always thought that we held on to these things, which I believe we do. But i am also believing that these fears, and these strongholds, hold onto us as well. But simply, because we let them. So i guess ultimately it is becasue of us.....
I also have a fear of....which is so silly....that for some reason, God will not let me do what my heart desires to do in this lifetime. That somehow, I won't get to be in ministry and will have to work a normal job my whole life...which makes me want to do not nice things at the thought of that.
But i KNOW that those desires and passions in my heart, came from God himself! and i KNOW that God, would never not give me the desires of my heart, especially when they are there to glorify Him. His love, and His character would never allow Him to spite me, and be like "you don't deserve this, therefore you are working a normal job for the rest of your life..."
though it may seem like it at times, and i know that that is in fact, what i deserve, and what I feel i deserve for myself.
I know that God is bigger than that. I know that His love, does give us the desires of our hearts. David says that in Psalms! :) So why do I let this fear take over me at times?! WHY?!?!?! i wanna know! because it drives me nuts.
I trust in God with my future! I am excited for my future, because God has such huge plans for me! and I cannot wait! it makes my heart skip just thinking about it!
im not a very patient person...a year waiting has been long enough for me...lol but i feel the time coming! and i know it is coming! :)
God is good!
so i guess...let go. let go of those fears that hold you back. those fears, that every now and then, spring up inside of you even if you didnt realize they were there. deal with them. rebuke them. know that God is bigger and stronger. Know the word, His truth, so that you don't fall into the temptation to falter, because of a silly fear!
God's love, is one this world does not know. We need to remember that. and hold onto that. though we are sinners, and undeserving of anything good, God's love longs to give us life and good! Absolutely amazing!
I love God. He loves me.
My life will forever be amazing. No matter what.
I have now realized this...and it needs to be let go of!
I have realized, that I have a fear (that has been with me since the beginning) of making a mistake, of messing up, of ruining things. I somehow expect myself to be perfect. Which of course, is never going to happen. But I just assume that if I mess up, I have ruined my whole life, and just everything and that God is ticked at me. I am waaaay to hard on myself.
But i know that nobody except my Jesus is perfect! and I know that because of Jesus, i can be perfect, with my imperfections through righteousness. (if that makes sense) :)
I just need to let this fear go! and let this fear let go of me.
I always thought that we held on to these things, which I believe we do. But i am also believing that these fears, and these strongholds, hold onto us as well. But simply, because we let them. So i guess ultimately it is becasue of us.....
I also have a fear of....which is so silly....that for some reason, God will not let me do what my heart desires to do in this lifetime. That somehow, I won't get to be in ministry and will have to work a normal job my whole life...which makes me want to do not nice things at the thought of that.
But i KNOW that those desires and passions in my heart, came from God himself! and i KNOW that God, would never not give me the desires of my heart, especially when they are there to glorify Him. His love, and His character would never allow Him to spite me, and be like "you don't deserve this, therefore you are working a normal job for the rest of your life..."
though it may seem like it at times, and i know that that is in fact, what i deserve, and what I feel i deserve for myself.
I know that God is bigger than that. I know that His love, does give us the desires of our hearts. David says that in Psalms! :) So why do I let this fear take over me at times?! WHY?!?!?! i wanna know! because it drives me nuts.
I trust in God with my future! I am excited for my future, because God has such huge plans for me! and I cannot wait! it makes my heart skip just thinking about it!
im not a very patient person...a year waiting has been long enough for me...lol but i feel the time coming! and i know it is coming! :)
God is good!
so i guess...let go. let go of those fears that hold you back. those fears, that every now and then, spring up inside of you even if you didnt realize they were there. deal with them. rebuke them. know that God is bigger and stronger. Know the word, His truth, so that you don't fall into the temptation to falter, because of a silly fear!
God's love, is one this world does not know. We need to remember that. and hold onto that. though we are sinners, and undeserving of anything good, God's love longs to give us life and good! Absolutely amazing!
I love God. He loves me.
My life will forever be amazing. No matter what.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Emotions Suck
Emotions....are crazy.
It's amazing how you can go from feeling such exuberant excitement, then 5 min later, be raging mad.....
It's amazing how emotions can make you blind to things, and makes you say things that completely contradict everything that just came out of your mouth...
It's amazing how we let them control us so incredible much....
It's just amazing....and not all emotions are bad. there are good ones.
we just don't know how to use them sometimes.
on a brighter note!
I GET TO GO TO NORTHERN IRELAND AGAIN! AND SO DOES TINA!
we are goin back!! for a MONTH!!!!!!!!!! i am beyond excited!
God is providing so much right now, its ridiculous. amongst the stressfulness....God is so good! He is powerful, and i strongly believe in His power because of what He has done in my life, and in the lives of the people around me! I love it!
(If only everyone paid attention to that, and lived that out)
I think goin back to NI will help me a whole lot. will be nice to get away. and sooo nice to see my girls again and my peeps. I am so excited. I miss them all so much. and it will be nice for them to see me and me see them. because last time i was there, i was not in a good place at all. so I think they need to see how well I am. that I am okay. and just how good God has been, and is. and for them to know it had absolutely nothing to do with them.
and for me to know, that its okay to make mistakes. and to go back to where that big mistake was made. and to let it go. and let it let me go. and realise i can move on. and to actually move on. and to know God is so much bigger. because He is.
so I'm real excited. will be a great spiritual, and just relaxing time. so excited!
ugh. yay. thank you so much Jesus! you love me. thank you for showing me that. now may I show you my love for you!
It's amazing how you can go from feeling such exuberant excitement, then 5 min later, be raging mad.....
It's amazing how emotions can make you blind to things, and makes you say things that completely contradict everything that just came out of your mouth...
It's amazing how we let them control us so incredible much....
It's just amazing....and not all emotions are bad. there are good ones.
we just don't know how to use them sometimes.
on a brighter note!
I GET TO GO TO NORTHERN IRELAND AGAIN! AND SO DOES TINA!
we are goin back!! for a MONTH!!!!!!!!!! i am beyond excited!
God is providing so much right now, its ridiculous. amongst the stressfulness....God is so good! He is powerful, and i strongly believe in His power because of what He has done in my life, and in the lives of the people around me! I love it!
(If only everyone paid attention to that, and lived that out)
I think goin back to NI will help me a whole lot. will be nice to get away. and sooo nice to see my girls again and my peeps. I am so excited. I miss them all so much. and it will be nice for them to see me and me see them. because last time i was there, i was not in a good place at all. so I think they need to see how well I am. that I am okay. and just how good God has been, and is. and for them to know it had absolutely nothing to do with them.
and for me to know, that its okay to make mistakes. and to go back to where that big mistake was made. and to let it go. and let it let me go. and realise i can move on. and to actually move on. and to know God is so much bigger. because He is.
so I'm real excited. will be a great spiritual, and just relaxing time. so excited!
ugh. yay. thank you so much Jesus! you love me. thank you for showing me that. now may I show you my love for you!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Getting Through The Past
I can't help but live in the past sometimes. I have made some mistakes, i have been forgiven of them. I just can't forget them.
One big one that ruined my life basically. And now I am faced with it everytime I want/need to make a decision. It scares me. It numbs me.
My mind has become so full of well if i do this, if i don't do this...that in the midst of all the thoughts of how to make a decision, I can't hear God. The mind drives me nuts sometimes. I wish it could stop. But the mind is such a complex thing, and created by God, that it never will. We just need to learn how to live with it, and how to control it. I am getting there!
But back to getting throug the past. I need to forgive, and to forget. I need to break through this barrier of the fear of messing up by making a wrong decision. We all mess up. It's going to happen. I'm never going to be perfect. I just need to stay calm, and trust in God to let me know the right way.
But even that becomes hard. As I do not trust myself to hear God because of this one mistake. Because I get so caught up in what I want to do, and what my mind is telling me, the pros and the cons, that I don't hear God. So I don't trust myself to make a decision unless I truly know this is what God is telling me to do. Rather than just to do something, until a door closes. I am way to careful about this.
I guess what I am saying is, I need to overcome the past mistakes. I need to learn to trust myself. To trust God, to let me know what the right thing to do is. To be obedient, and to strip all of my selfishness to fulfill God's purpose in my life. And if I mess up, I mess up. I have a forgiving and merciful Father. I just need to forgive and show grace to myself. Which is hard. But I have to. Jesus does, so therefore I need to. To gain freedom and to overcome this barrier and get rid of this bonded fear that just won't let go of me. Just trust.
Love the Lord your God with all you heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
Deuteronomy 6:5
One big one that ruined my life basically. And now I am faced with it everytime I want/need to make a decision. It scares me. It numbs me.
My mind has become so full of well if i do this, if i don't do this...that in the midst of all the thoughts of how to make a decision, I can't hear God. The mind drives me nuts sometimes. I wish it could stop. But the mind is such a complex thing, and created by God, that it never will. We just need to learn how to live with it, and how to control it. I am getting there!
But back to getting throug the past. I need to forgive, and to forget. I need to break through this barrier of the fear of messing up by making a wrong decision. We all mess up. It's going to happen. I'm never going to be perfect. I just need to stay calm, and trust in God to let me know the right way.
But even that becomes hard. As I do not trust myself to hear God because of this one mistake. Because I get so caught up in what I want to do, and what my mind is telling me, the pros and the cons, that I don't hear God. So I don't trust myself to make a decision unless I truly know this is what God is telling me to do. Rather than just to do something, until a door closes. I am way to careful about this.
I guess what I am saying is, I need to overcome the past mistakes. I need to learn to trust myself. To trust God, to let me know what the right thing to do is. To be obedient, and to strip all of my selfishness to fulfill God's purpose in my life. And if I mess up, I mess up. I have a forgiving and merciful Father. I just need to forgive and show grace to myself. Which is hard. But I have to. Jesus does, so therefore I need to. To gain freedom and to overcome this barrier and get rid of this bonded fear that just won't let go of me. Just trust.
Love the Lord your God with all you heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
Deuteronomy 6:5
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