Reminders in the sky

I love thunderstorms and lightning storms.

And I think that I love them because of the power that they portray and display.

There is something about a show of such power, that reminds me how mi-nute and small I am, and how Holy and Big and Powerful my God is. At any moment, a bolt of lightning could strike my car. Could strike a tree and kill it and the ground near it. Yet I am not fearful of that, because I believe my God is in control. 

Sometimes these shows, the thunder that shakes the whole house, the lightning that hits a little to close, gets your heart beating rapidly, shakes you up a bit, puts a little fear in you. As it should. As God should, because He is ALL POWERFUL. 

Sometimes, we just need to be reminded how small we are and how big God is.

Sometimes, we just need to be reminded who is LORD, who is in control of our lives and the world.

"For His invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse." Romans 1:20

It's an odd thing to say goodbye....

You never expect to say goodbye for good to your friends.

It's an odd thing to say goodbye to someone who was once such a part of your life everyday, and then one day, because of growing up and life happening, and maybe other circumstances, they aren't apart of your life everyday. But maybe once a month, maybe once a year, or every couple years, or maybe even not at all, (whether just for a time, or for a really long time). And then, they are gone from this earth.

And you ask questions...

    Could I, should I, have done more to keep in touch?

    Could I, should I, have made more of an impact if only....

...

Regret in past relationships can creep in, but the past, is the past. You can't change what happened, where your life went, where their life went. You can only choose whether to remain in discontent and questioning, or to be grateful for the time you had together, the season of life you shared, and to remember the individual you loved so dearly. 

Death has never really affected me. I haven't had many people I care about die, at all. Until this past year, so this is a new thing for me to be walking through. My heart is deeply saddened in ways that it is difficult to describe, and even process. But I do know that death is nothing to be fearful of, for those who are found in Christ. But it definately makes you think, and process the relationships you have. 

Am i making the most out of the time I have with those God has put in my life in the present?

Being in ministry, I meet a lot of people. I am and have been involved in hundreds of people's lives over the past 8-9 years of ministry. I have had great successes, and great failures in relationships. Ive stayed in contact with many, and have lost touch with many. I have been greatly hurt and have done the hurting in many relationships, I have given more than I ever could have imagined, and I have not given enough a lot of times. But what I believe I have just learned, it is all worth it. All the heart-ache, all the suffering, all the joyous times, all the laughter, all the tears, all the frustration, all the prayers, all the rejoicing, all the chill times...are worth every effort I've ever made. I have grown weary, my friend who just passed, grew weary. And Jesus is worth growing weary for. 

So what if I have been hurt.  So what if I am tired. If things (even people) don't go the way I expected, or planned. My life, is not about me. It is about honoring Christ, and leading people into an intimacy with their Father, Creator, Friend...and walking life with them, the time that God has given me with them. 

So i exhort you, reader, (and myself), to not grow weary. To do the work because we were created to work hard, to toil, to be in relationships. Do The Work. Sweat. Cry. Don't sleep. Pray. Laugh. All you can do, and have to do for the sake of Christ and being like Him and walking WITH Him, and with people. Don't give up on people, on your relationships, let the past be the past, live in the now, come to be at peace with Christ, trust Him, surrender everything to Him, please. Love others, with the love of Christ. Love yourself with the love of Christ. Forgive. Have grace. Don't life defeated, and please don't die defeated. God can heal. God can bring peace and rest. God brings redemption and victory. Jesus already won the victory and has made you righteous and whole! Just walk with Him.

"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." Galatians 6:9

It Won't Last Forever

I write about seasons a lot. Probably because we all go through many different seasons, some are full of immense joy, some are full of a lack of understanding, suffering, happiness, great things happening one after another, testing of our faith, good relationships, bad relationships, humility, being intensely built up, great encouragement, loneliness, intimacy, lack of intimacy...the list can go on. But what I have come to learn, and have become extremely grateful for, is that seaons are seasons. Meaning that they don't last forever. A new season will always be coming. And the season you are in, will always come to a close. 

I have also learned, and have been greatly encouraged (especially recently) in, that the promises of God never leave us in those seasons, no matter what season it is. His promise to provide, to love, to be WITH me, will last forever, in every season. So even though seasons come and go, my God never does. His presence, is will me always. And that is why we can endure any season of life, the good and the bad, and the "i don't even know." 

This week has been a week full of mixed emotions. There has been immense sadness, for the loss of a friend, there has been great encouragement from friends older and younger, full of wisdom and joy in Christ and in that, I feel rejuvenated. I feel a stirring in my heart that has been missing. I feel a readiness for whatever the LORD has next. I feel excitement and determination. I feel heart ache, and brokenness. I feel. I feel the good, and the bad. But I feel. and to feel is a blessing. And whatever we feel...won't last forever. And in the midst of my feelings, Jesus is there. His presence...I am so so so so grateful for. Ashamed that I so often forsake it, when He never forsakes me. Grateful for His grace, because I am so wretched.

And whatever I don't feel, that won't last forever either. 

Seasons. are a beautiful journey that Christ takes us on in order to make us more and more like Him. Loving like Him, being gracious and forgiving like Him, suffering like Him, rejoicing like Him, sacrificing like Him...and all of that we can do IN Him. He will never leave us nor forsake us. He is the only thing in our lives that will last forever.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: 

      a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 

      a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

      a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 

      a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

      a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

      a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

     a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8