Oh, the beauty of a heart.

The word heart is used 15 times in psalm 119 in th esv. 

I had asked people on Facebook for their favorite chapter in the Bible and a lady from church gave me psalm 119. So I started reading it yesterday, and I couldn't help but notice how the wor heart kept coming up. This psalm is all about keeping Gods word, and how important and beautiful it is to the writer. It's a beautiful psalm. But like I said, the word heart kept jumping out to me. Especially those verses and the ones around it.

I had this conversation with my roommate the other night...about how since August, I feel like God has been speaking to me, for myself and for other people, how we can trust out hearts....

   I know that the Bible tells me that there is none good, that we are sinful....and our hearts can lead us astray...but I also see in the bible that The Lord will give us the desires of our hearts...that our hearts CAN be for Christ and most importantly, that The Lord is greater than our hearts.

My opinion.....

   If we have given our heart to Christ, truly given it to Him....laying down our desires, laying down our selfishness....and continually give it to Him each an every day, why wouldn't we be able to trust our hearts? For they are no longer our own....but Christ's. If Christ truly has your heart, you know It...your heart breaks for other people, you love deeper, your transformed, your less selfish....to name a few. You may have to hand your heart over to Christ each morning, but you can rest assured that it is in His hands. Christ redeems. Christ, through His death has imputed his righteousness to us. He gives us a new heart when we allow Him to be LORD over our lives and our Savior.

You may disagree with me, and that is okay. I've been thinking about this and processing this for months. And still am. But I am fully confident that Christ has my heart. I believe I can trust my heart because it doesn't belong to me, but to Him and since August, I have seen that play out in my life. I'm more emotional than ever, but I love deeper, and as emotional as I am, they don't (for the most part...I am still a sinner!), control me. It's amazing to witness your emotions and your heart being in submission to Christ and not overtaking every part of your being. 

Confidence that your heart belongs to Christ and no one else, not even yourself, is extremely peaceful.

  And it's the best place for your heart. In the hand of your Redeemer.

I love hearts. They are bruised, they are worn, but they are beautiful. In the hands of God.

There is redemption.

Confession Time

Something you should know about me, is that I am extremely imperfect.

  That's why I write this post...

This morning, I woke up with a sadness in my heart...for a person that is going through a lot and I have no relationship with, and have no clue how to help them. There is history as well, and God just keeps laying them on my heart.

I fall down a few steps on the stairs...it's dark, I just woke up...I fell...made a loud noise, at 5:30am, woke my roommate up. And it hurt. 

It was really snowy this morning. The roads were pretty bad, I was sliding a lot. I slid into a field...went down a ditch, into a field. Got out to check my car, nearly fell about 3 times. Didn't have cell phone service. Couldn't call anyone. Decided to take things into my hands, and eventually made it out of the field over a mini hill.

I feel like poop.physically. My stomach is questionable, as is my throat, and my head hurts.

This makes me extremely emotional and sensitive. So anything can and will set me off.

Confession time....

    I want people to notice it's been a tough day. I want people to notice a change of mood in me, to take interest. I want people's attention. I want to be encouraged, all the time actually. Who doesn't? 

   The majority of my thinking, is the dichotomy of doing things for people and seeking their approval, or just being okay with Gods approval and His attention. Some days are harder than others. 

I have a lot of dichotomy in my thinking, it's rather frustrating. 

But I share this (and I could share so much more, who is really don't feel like bearing all on the internet, nor do I really care to bare all to individuals most of the time...but really I want to...another dichotomy) 

because I love Jesus so so so so so much. My life, also revolves around Him, in all honesty. I have been taught, and have learned how to think about Him more and involve Him more and to fix my eyes on him more, and it's difficult, especially in the midst of bad days, but He somehow always brings me back to Him, which I am grateful for! But I also am in Ministry...and I work in the church, am involved in my church, and am a worship leader. So, people sometimes can get the idea that I am super spiritual, and holy, and have everything together. Which sometimes, it seems like I do and that I am...but I'm still figuring this following Jesus thing out too. I'm still being sanctified. I still fail and have bad days. I'm not always godly. I'm not always spiritual. I can be quite surfacey...because it's safe. But sometimes going deep, is refreshing and reveals the heart and is what makes me fall in love with people and especially more in love with Jesus, and what helps shape and mold my charachter and my heart and challenges my way of thinking, and my way of living.

So I write this, just to let u know that I'm a sinner. To confess that I sometimes would prefer the affirmation of people over God. And that I have bad days too. We are all the same.  None of us are better than each other. God loves us all the same. We are all His children, and He blesses and disciplines us all. 

Now, to do what all spiritual people do to relax....sleep and netflix....😧😝

✌️ peace and ❤️ love brethren. 

Walk in the Spirit

So, there's this song. That has swept the nations. And so it should, because it's an incredible song. 

When this song first came out, I made it my prayer to God. Especially the bridge of the song. 

Have you ever heard the phrase, 'careful what you pray for?" (Wish for is the more popular one, but i have definitely heard people say that about prayer too!" Because God answers prayers. Especially when they align with His will, and in the end, conform us to the image of Jesus Christ.

Well, I realized this past week, that my prayer is currently being answered. God answers prayers when we least expect Him to, and in ways that we don't even catch that they are answered prayers. Or, we just aren't expecting God to actually answer, so we don't look for Him to be moving and answering. I think it's more often than not, the latter one. And I confess, that's probably why I didn't see this. I had forgotten I had prayed this prayer, because sometimes I just get used to singing a song or reciting a verse. But I want my heart to always be in it. And God knows my heart, more deeply than anyone, He created it, had molded it and is molding it, it is in His hands, it is His.

So, God is answering my prayer of:

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior"

   Oceans (where feet may fail) by Hillsong United

He is leading me where there is becoming a lack of borders to my trust in Him, I am walking where He has called me, and it's not easy and it's only drawing me deeper into Him and deeper into His heart and His power...where my feet could never take me. And He is taking me through things, where my faith in Him is crucial, and I am seeing and witnessing first hand that faith in Him truly makes me stronger, because it's all about Him and not me. His will, and not mine. And all of this, is in His Presence. By His incredible Holy Spirit, who enables, who comforts, who whispers, who leads. There is power in the Spirit, and in His presence. That enables us to have more faith, and to trust without borders. He breaks down walls. He protects. He is wild. He is steadfast. He is faithful. He is worth it.

I leave you with this incredible verse:

"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." 

Ephesians 3:20-21

Crazy week

This has been a very interesting week. Not what I would have expected at all, but I guess that's what make sit exciting, because God is clearly at work.

I don't even really know how to word what I want to share, but I just know that I want to share,

It's been another week of being awake at times I just want to be sleeping. This is becoming pretty current, and really, I am okay with this. Because I know for a fact it is God keeping me awake,to pray for my brothers and sisters who need it. In these times, when certain people are stuck on my heart, I have started to just ask God what it is that they need to hear or they need prayer for in that moment, rather than just praying what I feel or think. But asking God what they need and trusting Him in that. 

It's been an emotional week. A week where I've been quite sentimental and falling in love with people all over again. It's been a week where difficult conversations have been needed to have. It's also been a week where conversations have been extremely encouraging, and uplifting. It's been a week where I am realizing all that God is really teaching me and things that need to be changed in my own life. 

It's been a week where the Holy Spirit has just been so evident and alive in my heart where I absolutely cannot ignore Him and have to be obedient. 

It's been an interesting week. 

It's been a Good week.

It's been a Spirit-filled week.

Friends, it truly is never a dull moment in following Jesus.

Just walk WITH Him, and seek His face. For He says that when we seek Him, we will find Him! 

Seek Jesus my friends. You will find Him. He will reveal Himself to You.

✌️ peace in the name of Jesus Christ.