For everything there is a season

So, I haven't blogged for 2 weeks...there's been a lot on my mind and some wrestling to do.

 Some of you may already know, or have heard bits and pieces, so I am here to either tell you for the first time, or to put the pieces together.

About a week ago I was talking with a friend and the statement was made, 'whoever said life with Christ is boring...because it surely isn't!" I have been in a relationship with Christ for 14 years and 

In my time with Him, things are constantly changing. There is always some kind of excitement or trial...; always a lesson to be learning...and that just becomes life when we surrender our lives to Christ. As a late 20's something, I have been humbled and continue to be so. When your a teenager, we expect by the age of like 21 to be married with kids...then when we get to the age of 21 and we're not married with kids..we either praise God because we realize how immature we are, or we ask God why. 

And we make choices of how to respond when we reach certain ages, or stages of life, when our expectations of those ages and things accomplished or have not been accomplished aren't what we may have thought.

I was sure when I was a teenager, that by the age I am at now, I would have my career, I would be married and have a family, be settled down somewhere...basically that I would have life figured out. How naive and silly we can be (at any age). The truth... I am not married, nor have I started a family of my own, nor do I know vocationally what I will do for the rest of my life (even though I have dreams and ideas). And you know what, I am content with all of this. I have wrestled with these things, numerous times, as to why they weren't happening, each time coming to the conclusion that; God is greater and I trust Him, even if these things never come to fruition in my life. I've learned that people change careers in their 30's, or 40's, or 50's! People still wrestle in marriages in their 80's! And as long as we are on this earth, there will be sin, and with sin, comes temptation and selfishness. The struggle is real friends, and I believe it is a struggle we must persevere through continually, for the sake of knowing Christ.

And sometimes, God just keeps changing things, and that is completely okay. We don't aways know why, but we just know He is at work and He has His reasons. Change is a good thing, and needed sometimes, especially when God directs it. So with all of that, I have made the decision to step down from a staff position at Off The Wall Ministry. This has been a very difficult decision for me to make, and has been invited in with a lot of prayer and confirmation because of how much this ministry and the staff mean to me. OTW has been instrumental in helping me develop my gifts and grow in my relationship with Christ and with others in community in my early 20's. And I will be forever grateful, and they will forever be my community. But now, it seems that God has other plans and I only have to be obedient. What exactly those plans are, and what the future holds, I do not know for sure. I know that I have immense peace for where I am at and am being led into, and I already have seen God's hand in this new season of life immensely which is very encouraging and I am very excited about what the future holds. Even if right now it's just being at home and working.

This past year has been really difficult for me, full of stress and confusion. But one major thing I learned, is truly where my heart is. Even in complete desert and dryness, my heart belongs to Christ and my heart is for the church. God's bride. I long to build up and edify God's bride, and that has always been my heart, and so that is certainly the direction I am continuing to walk in. I would greatly appreciate your prayers, for it will be difficult to transition after 5 years of intense ministry to not be near as involved. I still plan to volunteer occasionally in whatever ways possible with OTW after some time to just take to myself and with my Heavenly Father. 

For those who have supported me the past few years in whatever way, I am extremely grateful to you and for you. For those who have done nothing but encourage me, you have brought me hope and belief when I didn't have any. 

This is also my year of Celebration I have decided. I have been through the fire, and I know more fire's will come. But through these past fires, my faith has been strengthened, through ministry my relationship with Christ and who I am, have only been strengthened. I know more than I used to. I feel more than I used to. I know and fully believe that Christ is good in all situations, and that I can praise Him in any season, in any emotion or lack of, simply because He is worthy and His presence is with me in all of it. So i am choosing to Celebrate. To learn to celebrate in different ways. And the best part about this is....that this word, Celebrate, was given to me before this new season even arrived.

I am beyond blessed, with an amazing community who loves me deeply and supports me and I am so very grateful, words cannot express the amount of love and support I already feel. The peace that passes all understanding, is truly worth everything. #Jesus 

So whoever you are, whatever season you are in. Celebrate it. It won't last forever. And there is much for you in this time. And never forget that God is with you. 

 ✌🏼 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

"Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, and not frightened in anything by your opponents. This is a clear sign to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God." Philippians 1:27-28

Which perspective is yours?

I am a fool.

Sometimes, I judge people for their weaknesses. I get embarrassed for them. I feel pity for them.

Only to be reminded...that when we boast in our weaknesses, God's strength is showcased.

Vulnerability is a very scary thing. You never know how people will respond to you. You open yourself up to rejection, to humiliation... to looking like a fool in this world's viewpoint. But the thing I have been reminded of and convicted of, is that the viewpoint of God's Kingdom, is so very different from this world's, and yet I find myself adapting more to the viewpoints of the world than the Kingdom of God and as a disciple of Jesus, this is not an okay thing.

Instead, to look like a fool in the world's eye, that is in this instance, to be vulnerable, to share and boast in your weaknesses, is a privilege and an honorable act. Christ was beaten down, and humiliated

by this world we live in, many of His follower's were martyr'd and/or imprisoned, and still are to this day. So i ask the question, is Christ worth looking and feeling foolish in the eyes of the world for?!

 The answer should be yes. If it is not, I suggest we pray that our mindsets be changed. I know I need to.

In the book of Philippians, Paul tells us that we will share in Jesus' sufferings...and we do by being humiliated sometimes, by being humbled, by being vulnerable, by being uncomfortable, by being weak, because through all of these things that the world views as so bad, God is glorified, and we are made stronger because all of our sudden our dependence is no longer on ourselves, or on people in this world, but on God. And that is where our dependence needs to be.  on Jesus Christ.

So i challenge you, and myself included, to be vulnerable. Especially with those you trust, and those in your community. Admit to your faults. Stop lieing about how you are doing, and be honest. Confess your sins; your lust, your fears, the lies you have been believing, your bitterness and unforgiveness, the lies you have been telling, your pride, your ungodliness....

And have grace and receive grace, because God's grace is never exhausted on you. He gives and gives and gives, as should we to others.

I need prayer. I wrestle with the enemy everyday. I wrestle with fears, lust, lies of all sorts (believing and telling). Sometimes I don't have the strength to wrestle, so I give in. More than I would like to admit. I am stubborn and prideful, and I need people to fight alongside me. Just like you need people to fight alongside you. God is good. God is worthy of all of our praise, even in the struggles. Jesus has paid the price, He has gone in our place, we are already victorious and are already seated with Him in glory. Let's walk that way. Let's fight the good fight of faith, and grow in the reliance of the Holy Spirit in our lives, and grow in our knowledge of Him and our intimacy with Him.

Fight against the perspective of the world, to gain the perspective of God's Kingdom.

"Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." James 5:16

"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my LORD. For his sake I have uffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Crist and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith--that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death...." Philippians 3:8-10

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persucutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."