Sunday, June 1, 2014

Whatever Your doing inside of me, it feels like chaos but somehow there's peace

Sometimes you just have no clue what God is doing with your heart, or even your life.
    Since I went a week without social media, God has been doing something in my heart, and I have no clue what it is. Specific things are just touching my heart more and are challenging my heart and how I live my life and think about things more than normal. My desire for godliness and to be more like Jesus is immensely growing, and my own sin and even just my desire keeps breaking my heart as well.

My heart is longing for so many things all at the same time, and it's quite overwhelming at times. My heart is breaking over things I cannot have at this moment, over my own and this culture's attitude...and a number of other things. 

Yet, as I sit here, on my porch, journaling and talking to God, I can't help but be grateful, even amidst the turmoil, and frustration and heart ache and weariness (because I'm so tired..and not just physically). Because I know that God is good, I believe that with all of my heart because I have tasted and seen Him. I know He is active in my life, I know He is leading me, and wherever He leads me, whatever pain and fires I have to go through to be more like Christ is worth it because He went through hell...for me. And there is no way I can even fathom that. His torture, beatings...etc. and He gave up His own life...so that I could spend eternity with Him.

So I guess I share all of this to try and encourage you, that wherever you are at in life, whatever you are struggling through, God knows your desires, your heart, your pain, your turmoil, and He is trustworthy. Lay yourself down and embrace all He has for you, He is worthy of your entire life. Your body, your mind, your heart, your actions, your obedience...He is worthy. And He is definitely worth it. He is our prize.

"The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing." Zephaniah 3:17

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