Letting Go

So, for the past week or so, I have finally realized how much fear is actually in my life, and how I have just pushed it deep down into my soul, until it arises. and when it does, it's not good.
I have now realized this...and it needs to be let go of!

I have realized, that I have a fear (that has been with me since the beginning) of making a mistake, of messing up, of ruining things. I somehow expect myself to be perfect. Which of course, is never going to happen. But I just assume that if I mess up, I have ruined my whole life, and just everything and that God is ticked at me. I am waaaay to hard on myself.
But i know that nobody except my Jesus is perfect! and I know that because of Jesus, i can be perfect, with my imperfections through righteousness. (if that makes sense) :)
I just need to let this fear go! and let this fear let go of me.

I always thought that we held on to these things, which I believe we do. But i am also believing that these fears, and these strongholds, hold onto us as well. But simply, because we let them. So i guess ultimately it is becasue of us.....


I also have a fear of....which is so silly....that for some reason, God will not let me do what my heart desires to do in this lifetime. That somehow, I won't get to be in ministry and will have to work a normal job my whole life...which makes me want to do not nice things at the thought of that.
But i KNOW that those desires and passions in my heart, came from God himself! and i KNOW that God, would never not give me the desires of my heart, especially when they are there to glorify Him. His love, and His character would never allow Him to spite me, and be like "you don't deserve this, therefore you are working a normal job for the rest of your life..."
though it may seem like it at times, and i know that that is in fact, what i deserve, and what I feel i deserve for myself.
I know that God is bigger than that. I know that His love, does give us the desires of our hearts. David says that in Psalms! :) So why do I let this fear take over me at times?! WHY?!?!?! i wanna know! because it drives me nuts.
I trust in God with my future! I am excited for my future, because God has such huge plans for me! and I cannot wait! it makes my heart skip just thinking about it!
im not a very patient person...a year waiting has been long enough for me...lol but i feel the time coming! and i know it is coming! :)
God is good!

so i guess...let go. let go of those fears that hold you back. those fears, that every now and then, spring up inside of you even if you didnt realize they were there. deal with them. rebuke them. know that God is bigger and stronger. Know the word, His truth, so that you don't fall into the temptation to falter, because of a silly fear!

God's love, is one this world does not know. We need to remember that. and hold onto that. though we are sinners, and undeserving of anything good, God's love longs to give us life and good! Absolutely amazing!
I love God. He loves me.
My life will forever be amazing. No matter what.