Vulnerability

Vulnerable: ‘capable or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, open to moral attack, criticism…’

Many people are fearful of this word. I would be one of those people. Many people who are fearful of vulnerability, are ones who care too much of other people’s approval. I am one of these people. Many people who are fearful of vulnerability, are people who have insecurity. I am one of these people. Many people who are fearful of vulnerability and never are vulnerable, lack intimate relationships and live in insecurity.

Here is a letter I just wrote to insecurity itself.

“Insecurity I hate you. You make me physically sick. You break deep bonds in my relationships. You make me feel like food shoved down a garbage disposal. I feel worthless and unwanted in your presence. Insecurity you ruin who I really am. You ruin my close friendships. You make me think that it is all my fault. That I can never do anything right.
Insecurity you are a monster. You are deceitful yet powerful. You prey on the bruised and broken. You are full of shame and conceit. you live deep under the roots of anything you can latch onto and rot it until it’s all in pieces and dead.
Insecurity you are evil. I hate you. You ruin everything i have and am.

Insecurity you are unwanted, despised and broken. You think you have power but in the eyes of God you are but a fly under a fly swatter, dead. You try to lie and ruin God’s creation and work but you will not win. Have you not read Revelation? When Jesus returns and reigns and all evil will be thrown away forever. Your included in that evil. You will be destroyed, never to live again. Have you not heard of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross? How He has redeemed and forgiven me from my sins and saved me from an ending like yours? I will not be thrown away like you, or even by you. Because of God who is rich in mercy, I have value, that you envy. I have confidence that you hate. I have power through God’s Holy Spirit that you cannot conquer. I am victorious, which you know nothing of.

You may fool me for a little while, but I know better. I know your fate. My God is greater. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He is my pride and joy. My identity. You on the other hand, I choose to ignore….so good bye.'”

 

Trust God and rely upon God.

“I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”  Psalm 91:2