Why are you cast down, o my soul?

As I'm sitting in a coffee shop, waiting to head to my Doctor's appointment, I'm reading Hebrews 10 and praying and thinking about all of our students at Off The Wall. Thinking about that age, and the conversations I've had with some of them over the last few weeks. Thinking about some of the things I've noticed, observed, without even speaking to some of them. 

   Young adults drive me crazy and frustrate me and affect me more than any other age group I think. But I love them with all of my heart. I understand them. I feel for them. I've been there, and basically am there. I know what it's like, and I believe it's such a key age in life to grow and to take Jesus seriously and make some big decisions. They need each other, they need people, they need friends, they need family, they need community, They need the church, they need Jesus, they need discipled, they need love and grace...

     So as I'm praying for individuals, Psalm 42 comes to mind...

1 As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. 

2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? 

3 My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all the day long, "Where is your God?" 

4 These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival. 

5 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation 

6 and my God. My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. 

7 Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. 

8 By day the LORD commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. 

9 I say to God, my rock: "Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?" 

10 As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me all the day long, "Where is your God?" 

11 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. 

My prayer is that their souls pant for God. And that with that desperation for God, they follow Him whenever He takes them. That they learn He is for them, and has great plans and works prepared for them, that they are His and every ounce of who they are is found in Him and no one or anything else. That they learn to hear His voice and listen to Him and follow, walk, in obedience to the one who has saved their souls and is sanctifying them to be more like Christ and has redeemed them. That there is hope, no matter how fearful, how insecure, how broken, how angry, how sinful...there is forgiveness. That there is rejoicing. They have every reason to be joyful and to rejoice in the LORD. That Jesus is the most important relationship, person in their life and that their hearts are pure and always seeking after Him. That they love His words and eat them up for God has written them on our hearts and minds. That they know that the. Holy Spirit has equipped them for everything they need in this life to walk in a manner worthy of the gospel and the calling they have received. 

  And that they don't just know Christ, but believe in Him and the power of His resurreection. That they walk WITH Him and not just beside or behind Him. That they know and BELIEVE and can see that they are loved with an unconditional love. A love that doesn't judge them for their wrongs, but embraces who they are and where they are at. A love that will speak openly and honestly with them and hold them when they are weak and one that walks with them through all seasons of life. 

 "Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12 

   

✌️ brethren. 

Come Away with Me

38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house.

39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching.

40 But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me."

41 But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things,

42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."

Luke 10:38-42

The majority of my life, I have been Mary. It has always been easiest for me to just sit at the feet of Jesus. For hours.

It seems that the older I am getting, the more responsibility I am receiving, and with that goes more of my time and focus and energy. Which then means, especially most recently, my hours of time at the feet of Christ, don't happen like they used to. Recently, don't happen often at all if I am being honest. 

It is easy to get caught up in life. Especially when there is so much going on in and around you, in your community of people. I have been reminded in the past couple of weeks of life being non-stop, and many attacks and circumstances arising in my life and in the lives of people I care about deeply, that  idefinately have lost this art of Mary....of sitting at the feet of Jesus. I have been fearful, I have been anxious, I have been insecure, I have been overwhelmed and stressed. All because I have not been trying to take care and deal with life on my own, talking to God along the way, but never taking moments to just stop for even a half hour...just to sit at my precious Savior and Friend's feet. To just be with Him. 

And I'm a quality time person. 

So I encourage whoever is reading this, spend some time with Jesus today. Just you, and Him. Read His words, His life, Worship Him in the way you worship best paint with Him, walk/run with Him, write to Him....just spend time with Him. He is jealous for you. He is with you. Always. Fall in love with Him, all over again. 

I encourage you to watch/listen to this song, it's just on my heart this afternoon, and speaks perfectly to where I'm at, in this moment.

   ✌️ my brethren.

http://youtu.be/9B27Z7hfGRI

Message in a Dream

"Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them.The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, "Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?" This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."" John 8:1-11

The other morning I woke up at about 5:30am, sweated and wide awake because of a dream I had. I'm not going to share my dream, but I just knew, that I had to share the message of my dream.

This summer God has been bringing a lot of things to mind through conversations with other people, and one of those is how in Christianity, we are so quick to judge others. We think that we know what is best for people so often, especially when heavily involved in people's lives. We see people making, what seems to us, really terrible decisions, and sometimes they may be, but we judge them for that and we complain about how this person could make that mistake, or act like that, or do that thing. I am so guilty of this. We all are. 

What I am seeing this kind of thinking and attitude creating, is this attitude of pride. That I am better than you. That I make better decisions than you. I am more spiritual than you. I know what is best, I know what you should do. And sometimes, those things may be true...but it is our attitude behind those thoughts, where the issue lies. Where our sin is. We are so quick to judge others for the way they are living their lives. We are lacking trust in God that says that He knows best, that He is working everything out for the good of those who love Him, that He will deal with injustice, He will deal with other people's sin. 

I currently have the privilege of being in Northern Ireland, with the people I first fell in love with and where ministry life truly started for me. One thing that I am just loving and seeing is how much God truly keeps His children. He doesn't need us. He is more than capable of leading people to Him without us. He's been doing this much longer than we have. All we have to do, is seek Him ourselves, and as we walk with Him, we disciple, lead people to Him, not to ourselves. 

So I ask you, follower of Jesus Christ, brother, sister, read John 8:1-11. Next time you think someone is making a wrong decision, Look at your own sin first. Love them through whatever their life looks like. Speak God words, truth, wisdom, not jealousy, not pride, but have love, grace and mercy. Be fruitful. Be like Jesus. 

Grace and Peace brethren. ❤️

The body of Christ.

Sometimes when I sit and think about our bodies, I become so in AWE of God. It amazes me at how they work together, and all that our bodies are capable of doing and unfortunately all that we limit them to because of pain...

This morning I went on a walk. And as I was walking, and talking with Jesus and praying for people I started thinking about the body. The physical body, but also the spirual body. I've always loved 1 Corinthians 12 where it talks about the body of Christ and all of our parts and how we are to work together, it's always been a passion of mine. 

This past week I've realized, going along with the body of Christ, something that I've grown a passion for. And that's corporate worship. The church. But specifically worshipping (through music) together, and the power that God has on His body for His Kingdom in those times of gathering together for the sole purpose to Praise Him! 

And while on my walk this morning, I was reminded of all of this, and that passage in scripture, and was thinking about our bodies and how they operate. How awesome it is that our whole body works together, to allow my body to move. I can walk, because my brain tells my body what to do, and my body (bones, nerves, muscles) respond! And they respond properly and very well. But then I think of times when people break a bone, or a tendon...where something went wrong between the communication and response time in the body. So, whenever there is a part that is broken...the rest of the body suffers, the rest of the body has to work harder to make up for the broken part. The body also has to allow itself to heal....so the broken part needs to heal...and the rest of the body has to wait, and actually helps the broken part heal but working harder.

   So it is with our spiritual body, corporately. There are many in the body of Christ who are broken and need healing. There are many of us who need to pull more of our weight, and realize that we all have a part to offer and to play in the corporate body of Christ and that when we aren't doing our part, the rest of the body suffers. We are made to work together, to carry each other's burdens, to help each other heal and get better, and to do the work. To respond to what God's Word is telling us, to be obedient to the life that He has called us to, to listen to His words and His truth and walk in them. To walk in a manner worthy of the Gospel. We are the church. The body of Christ. To work together for the Kingdom of God. 

1 Corinthians 12:12-31

"12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.

13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body-Jews or Greeks, slaves or free-and all were made to drink of one Spirit.

14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many.

15 If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body.

16 And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," that would not make it any less a part of the body.

17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell?

18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose.

19 If all were a single member, where would the body be?

20 As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

21 The eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you," nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you."

22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable,

23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty,

24 which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it,

25 that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.

26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

27 Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

28 And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues.

29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles?

30 Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret?

31 But earnestly desire the higher gifts. And I will show you a still more excellent way. "

Endure. For the sake of Christ, endure the pain, take one step at a time if you need to, be obedient. Be all that the Bible tells you to be. Not for yourself, but for Christ. Who gave up His life, so that you can be saved, redeemed, free. You are found in Him, not in anyone or anything else.  

Sentimental Moment

 I've been (and still am) processing most of my relationships recently. It's been quite interesting, and very emotional for me. Relationships are always changing, and always will be. As you grow up, as you learn what is really important, as you love people more and love yourself more and love Jesus more, and as seasons of life change, you are just always learning, and always evaluating your life. 

Every relationship takes work, takes effort, takes a fight to be kept and well maintained and healthy.

I have learned so much about relationships, through those who have stuck with me over the years. There have been many tears, many fears, many fights, many times of silence, many frustrations...but those relationships, I would give my life for those people in a heartbeat.

Currently, I am in a different season of life than almost all of my best friends. It's tough, and at times Satan throws lies my way....like that I'm pathetic....or that I am a burden to them....but then something great happens...I REMEMBER, that I have been incredibly blessed, with the bestest friends. I have friends who have stuck with me through the good and the bad. Who know how I process and know my crazy side. I have friends who only look out for my good and who care for me and take care of me. I have friends who love me unconditionally, and I know without a shadow of a doubt they will ALWAYS be there, no matter what life brings or what season of life we are all in. I am incredibly blessed. And when I remember these things, the lies go away. Satan is defeated. Because Christ has victory! His love, has overcome. 

So I encourage you all, fight for your friends. Those people who know you so deeply, allow them to love you, and love them back with Christ's love. Build deeper friendships with those Christ has put in your day to day path to walk life with. Be a best friend. It's not always going to feel good, or be enjoyable, but you must endure the hardships of friendship, for it is worth it. Once you come out of the fire, the relationships are only stronger, when rooted and grounded in Christ. It's a beautiful thing to have your heart knitted together with people who share your same love.

Whatever Your doing inside of me, it feels like chaos but somehow there's peace

Sometimes you just have no clue what God is doing with your heart, or even your life.

    Since I went a week without social media, God has been doing something in my heart, and I have no clue what it is. Specific things are just touching my heart more and are challenging my heart and how I live my life and think about things more than normal. My desire for godliness and to be more like Jesus is immensely growing, and my own sin and even just my desire keeps breaking my heart as well.

My heart is longing for so many things all at the same time, and it's quite overwhelming at times. My heart is breaking over things I cannot have at this moment, over my own and this culture's attitude...and a number of other things. 

Yet, as I sit here, on my porch, journaling and talking to God, I can't help but be grateful, even amidst the turmoil, and frustration and heart ache and weariness (because I'm so tired..and not just physically). Because I know that God is good, I believe that with all of my heart because I have tasted and seen Him. I know He is active in my life, I know He is leading me, and wherever He leads me, whatever pain and fires I have to go through to be more like Christ is worth it because He went through hell...for me. And there is no way I can even fathom that. His torture, beatings...etc. and He gave up His own life...so that I could spend eternity with Him.

So I guess I share all of this to try and encourage you, that wherever you are at in life, whatever you are struggling through, God knows your desires, your heart, your pain, your turmoil, and He is trustworthy. Lay yourself down and embrace all He has for you, He is worthy of your entire life. Your body, your mind, your heart, your actions, your obedience...He is worthy. And He is definitely worth it. He is our prize.

"The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Preparation is apart of Worship

Sometimes I really enjoy to just sit and think. I don't do this often, so I forget that typically when I do this, some kind of conviction or 'aha' moment occurs.

   I've only been sitting here for about 10 minutes, and that moment has already happened.

I'm leading worship tomorrow morning. I'm slightly nervous. Seeing as this past year has been bathed in anxiety in leading worship, and the last couple times it seems to be calming down and some victory has happened! So naturally, I am thinking and praying about worship. Naturally, I am thinking about myself....and asking God if I have grown as a worship leader in the last year and a half. My initial thought, is no, because I haven't been told (nor have I asked), how or even if I have grown. I am still extremely dependent upon other people to help me lead, which I don't think necessarily is a bad thing because of how God has wired me, but I am sure if an area I could grow in and would like to grow in. 

   Musically, I'm really not that good. For as many years as I have been doing this, I should be further along. But, I am also practicing and preparing more now musically and spiritually for worship than I every have.

And that is where my thoughts are at. The preparation of worship.

    This year, something has clicked in me that hadn't before, where I see the privilege and important of being apart of corporate worship, and it makes me want to do it better. Not for myself, not for the church, but for God, because He genuinely cares about our worship, especially when we all purposely gather together in His name. And I've began to see God move in incredible ways corporately and individually though this worship time. 

   I believe as well, that if our own individual worship time is suffering, our corporate worship time suffers. You see, we all, and not just musicians in a worship team, no matter what skill, or singers, or preachers, or teachers...but all of Christ's bride, should be preparing to come together to worship. 

For so long, I would show up on a Sunday morning, without even caring what songs we were going to sing and even how well I would play them, or without even praying for the teacher that morning, without even spending time with Christ before worshipping Him with fellow brothers and sisters. I would come together with an attitude that was not worthy of my Savior, and I didn't even care. Then I started getting anxious....and that only drew me to go to Christ. I started to pray more, at first, just for myself. I would pray all day Saturday, I would get up early Sunday morning and pray some more...then, I started not just praying for myself, but for the rest of the worship team, and then the pastors, and other leaders, because I knew if I was being so attacked, that they probably are too. And through all of that, God started to show me how much more powerful corporate times of worship are, even if just one person is taking the time to pray for those times, those people, and preparing themselves to worship Him in song, in abilities, in teaching, in fellowship and in servant hood. Through that, I see God smiling, I see and feel God receiving the glory that is due His name, and I see him working mightily within the church body, His bride. 

So my challenge; prepare your hearts to worship. Not just for a Sunday morning or evening, but every day. Worship in private, so that your corporate worship will be even more glorifying! Be ready and prepared, spiritually and physically, to worship your One True God who is Worthy of more than we can ever give! 

Worship, in spirit and in truth. 

✌️❤️