It Won't Last Forever

I write about seasons a lot. Probably because we all go through many different seasons, some are full of immense joy, some are full of a lack of understanding, suffering, happiness, great things happening one after another, testing of our faith, good relationships, bad relationships, humility, being intensely built up, great encouragement, loneliness, intimacy, lack of intimacy...the list can go on. But what I have come to learn, and have become extremely grateful for, is that seaons are seasons. Meaning that they don't last forever. A new season will always be coming. And the season you are in, will always come to a close. 

I have also learned, and have been greatly encouraged (especially recently) in, that the promises of God never leave us in those seasons, no matter what season it is. His promise to provide, to love, to be WITH me, will last forever, in every season. So even though seasons come and go, my God never does. His presence, is will me always. And that is why we can endure any season of life, the good and the bad, and the "i don't even know." 

This week has been a week full of mixed emotions. There has been immense sadness, for the loss of a friend, there has been great encouragement from friends older and younger, full of wisdom and joy in Christ and in that, I feel rejuvenated. I feel a stirring in my heart that has been missing. I feel a readiness for whatever the LORD has next. I feel excitement and determination. I feel heart ache, and brokenness. I feel. I feel the good, and the bad. But I feel. and to feel is a blessing. And whatever we feel...won't last forever. And in the midst of my feelings, Jesus is there. His presence...I am so so so so grateful for. Ashamed that I so often forsake it, when He never forsakes me. Grateful for His grace, because I am so wretched.

And whatever I don't feel, that won't last forever either. 

Seasons. are a beautiful journey that Christ takes us on in order to make us more and more like Him. Loving like Him, being gracious and forgiving like Him, suffering like Him, rejoicing like Him, sacrificing like Him...and all of that we can do IN Him. He will never leave us nor forsake us. He is the only thing in our lives that will last forever.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: 

      a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 

      a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

      a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 

      a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

      a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

      a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

     a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

"Can our singing, our preaching, our prayers, our books, even our blogs and tweets and Facebook updates be said to reflect an all-encompassing yearning for God?"

I have been reading this book, 'To live is Christ, to die is gain,' by Matt Chandler.

This book, has been a divine intervention in my life. It has made me see that the gospel is not of utmost importance in my life. It has made me see that I don't have discipleship down to a T. It has made me see that I still have massive attitude problems, that I'm not as mature of a discple as I thought. It has been humbling me, from page 1. It has made me seek Christ more. It has made me realize that I am still learning, and that to learn is a great thing that I will only continue to do. It has made me see that I have a ways to grow, and I want to grow. I want to learn. I want to have the gospel at the forefront of my thoughts and my (inter)actions. I want to grow in maturity in Christ. Christ truly is enough in my life, and I am truly content in Him and that comes through belief and experiencing life and suffering. And in the midst of suffering, only to be more like Christ, there is immense joy, and rejoicing, because I trust God, and that can grow!

All of this is a big deal to me. And it's a big deal, because a couple months ago, I felt like giving this all up...throwing in the towel...but I learned that I love Christ more than I thought, and I could never turn Him down, or walk away, and even though I still may not feel like myself, my heart is His, my life is His, and I am content, and even happy! Suffering is a part of life, anything we go through, Jesus truly is greater, and enough, and my prayer is that all who read this, all who are apart of the bride, and all those who don't even know Christ yet, will come to truly know and believe that Christ is enough and greater and to be content in Him.

So i want to finish this blog post with some quotes from this book that has been so encouraging to me. There's so many, so it might be long, but its worth it. Also, I now recommend everyone to read this book along with the book of Philippians. Philippians is my favorite book of the Bible, and now this book (to live is Christ, to die is gain) is my favorite book (convenient that its on the book of Philippians!). I hope that some of these quotes will challenge you, convict you, and encourage you. :) Peace my brothers and sisters. You may never know the amount of love I have in the depths of my heart for you all, but I hope and pray some day you understand and know!

*****************************************************************************************************************************

"...the gospel defies race, defies class, defies status, and even defies aptitude."

"When he commands others to live in a 'worthy' way, he means we should live in such a way that shows what we believe is of supreme worth."

"When everything considered valuable in life is seen to be nothing in comparison to the glory of Christ, you learn rather well that Christ alone is worth living for. Christ alone is worthy of an entire life's affections and devotions."

"...we show (the gospel) is supremely valuable to us when we deny ourselves and take up our crosses to be a blessing to the people who the gospel is calling us to."

"...the gospel is commended when we can admit we aren't perfect, even after we're saved."

"Living a life worthy of the gospel does not mean pretending to be perfect. Instead, it means having the humility to think of others as better than ourselves. It means putting self-concern aside to work together, realizing that we are all still in process."

"Fearless faith results from holding on to Christ as our treasure."

"If a mature Christian life, or a life worthy of the gospel of Jesus Christ, is a life where you are living deeply with others, regardless of external differences, if you strive for a deeper faith and grow in your faith together, pressing into Christ together, chasing Him together, and if it is fearlessness in faith...how are you doing?"

"...if the gospel is true, your life should look like it's true. If you have been united with Jesus, this unity should be exemplified in your lives."

"...everytime we think of ourselves as better than others or look only to our own interests, we are essentially saying, 'I am god.'"

"The godly fear that humbles us and receives mercy does not keep us in a nervous or timid state."

"Are you using God to get something from Him? Or is God Himself the goal of your striving?"

"The foundation, the motivation of a life of humility, is the example of Jesus Christ's humble life and sacrificial death on the cross."

"Always remember the gospel, so you won't forget that God will not expect something of you that He won't both empower you to obey and forgive you for not obeying."

"Nobody stumbles into godliness, ever."

"A mark of mature Christianity is discipleship-making disciples and being discipled."

"It's our responsibility to find people we can disciple, and it's our responsibility to be discipled."

"Mature believers in Christ rejoice in the Lord always."

"If our theology does not drive us to worship God in Christ, it is pointless."

"We become like Jesus in His suffering by sharing in His suffering through our own suffering."

"If we are busy rejoicing, we won't have time to be anxious."

"Fear is legitimate for the vulnerable, and pain is a natural consequence of being mortal. But worry is a choice made in distrust."

"Love is not simply something that we feel. It encompasses our affections, yes. It gets expresse in emotiona ways, yes. But the Bible tells us that real love 'rejoices with the truth' (1 Corinth 13:6). I assume from Ephesians 4:15 that it's possible to speak the truth from a lack of love, and by extension, that it's possible to express love from a place of ignorance and even falsehood. But mature, godly love is a truthful, orthodox, doctrinal love. It brings the thinking and feeling together..."

"The fact that he has to tell us to practice-to strain, to press, to 'work out'- tells us again that this stuff doesn't happen naturally."

"contentment means being satisfied not with the gift but with the Giver."

"The message of Philippians is that life is lived for Him, to Him, through Him, with Him, about Him, and in Him."

...

*****************************************************************************************************************************

"Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."  Philippians 4:8

He is Faithful.

17 They refused to obey and were not mindful of the wonders that you performed among them, but they stiffened their neck and appointed a leader to return to their slavery in Egypt. But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them.

18 Even when they had made for themselves a golden calf and said, 'This is your God who brought you up out of Egypt,' and had committed great blasphemies,

19 you in your great mercies did not forsake them in the wilderness. The pillar of cloud to lead them in the way did not depart from them by day, nor the pillar of fire by night to light for them the way by which they should go.

20 You gave your good Spirit to instruct them and did not withhold your manna from their mouth and gave them water for their thirst.

21 Forty years you sustained them in the wilderness, and they lacked nothing. Their clothes did not wear out and their feet did not swell.

22 "And you gave them kingdoms and peoples and allotted to them every corner. So they took possession of the land of Sihon king of Heshbon and the land of Og king of Bashan.

23 You multiplied their children as the stars of heaven, and you brought them into the land that you had told their fathers to enter and possess.

24 So the descendants went in and possessed the land, and you subdued before them the inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites, and gave them into their hand, with their kings and the peoples of the land, that they might do with them as they would.

25 And they captured fortified cities and a rich land, and took possession of houses full of all good things, cisterns already hewn, vineyards, olive orchards and fruit trees in abundance. So they ate and were filled and became fat and delighted themselves in your great goodness.

26 "Nevertheless, they were disobedient and rebelled against you and cast your law behind their back and killed your prophets, who had warned them in order to turn them back to you, and they committed great blasphemies.

27 Therefore you gave them into the hand of their enemies, who made them suffer. And in the time of their suffering they cried out to you and you heard them from heaven, and according to your great mercies you gave them saviors who saved them from the hand of their enemies.

28 But after they had rest they did evil again before you, and you abandoned them to the hand of their enemies, so that they had dominion over them. Yet when they turned and cried to you, you heard from heaven, and many times you delivered them according to your mercies.

29 And you warned them in order to turn them back to your law. Yet they acted presumptuously and did not obey your commandments, but sinned against your rules, which if a person does them, he shall live by them, and they turned a stubborn shoulder and stiffened their neck and would not obey.

30 Many years you bore with them and warned them by your Spirit through your prophets. Yet they would not give ear. Therefore you gave them into the hand of the peoples of the lands.

31 Nevertheless, in your great mercies you did not make an end of them or forsake them, for you are a gracious and merciful God.

32 "Now, therefore, our God, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God, who keeps covenant and steadfast love, let not all the hardship seem little to you that has come upon us, upon our kings, our princes, our priests, our prophets, our fathers, and all your people, since the time of the kings of Assyria until this day.

33 Yet you have been righteous in all that has come upon us, for you have dealt faithfully and we have acted wickedly.

Nehemiah 9:17-33

I could say much about this passage, but I'm just going to leave it with this....do you know, and not just know, but believe, that you are loved with a fiercly faithful, and wildly unconditional love by a Holy, Just, Gracious God? Do you see His provisions for you? His love for you? His grace for you?

He is there. He hears, He sees, He knows. He does not promise that your life will be easy and that everyone will like you and you will get things the way you want them. He does promise, persecution, suffering, discipline...His Holy Spirit and with Him comes, every spiritual blessing we need, salvation, eternal life with God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, free from damnation, forgiveness of our sins, new life, we ourselves made into a new creation...and thats just to name a few.

Grace and peace to you!

Nothing is wasted

I haven't done well at all this year at being an encourager in the some of the best waysI know how. Life and other things have gotten the best of me it seems. And as I just sat down to have a date with Jesus on my couch,I turned on pandora and I heard a song, and wanted to share it and this;

Sometimes your in those seasons of life where you feel like you have failed, or that your efforts are pointless, that the pain and frustration will never end, that your stuck. And people tell you, just endure, God is good, and sometimes, that just doesn't help. I have been in this season, numerous times, and expect to experience quite a few more, but I also know quite a few people who have experienced and are experiencing this season too. And this song, reminded me of those seasons, that there is hope and God is there and those seasons are not wasteful even though they often feel like it. God is still working for our good, He can revive, redeem, and restore every part of who we are and our lives. Even when we are unfaithful, He is faithful (this promise and truth, has been especially precious to me recently). We don't deserve the goodness of God, yet He lavishes us with it, and Himself. Nothing is wasted.

Even when you feel tired or weary, and don't want to pray or read, put on some music. Say 3 words...God help me. And I bet you, something will happen in you. Maybe not right at that second, but just wait for it a little, and The Spirit will start whispering, and your heart will start crying out, you will hear something that resonates, that will restore your hope, restore even an ounce of joy, bring some peace...hold onto that, and allow yourself to be drawn in. God works all things for his good. 

This song is called nothing is wasted, and it's by elevation worship. 

You know my every need

You see my poverty

You are enough for me, Jesus

You gave the blind man sight

You raised the dead to life

You've done the same for me, Jesus

You are loving, You are wise

There is nothing in my life You cannot revive

You are loving, You are wise

There is nothing too hard for our God

Your word inside of me

My strength, my everything

My hope will always be Jesus

Your breath inside my lungs

You're worthy of my trust

You will forever be Jesus

You are loving, You are wise

There is nothing in my life You cannot revive

You are loving, You are wise

There is nothing too hard for our God

Nothing is wasted

You work all things for good

Nothing is wasted

Your promise remains

Forever You reign

...

Because...Love

Overwhelm- to load, heap, treat, or address with an overpowering or excessive amount of anything; to cover or bury beneath a mass something; to overcome completely in mind or feeling.

It's easy when one is overwhelmed and tired to want to give up. To quit the fight. This more often than I like, is me. The other week I had these feelings immensly, and as i lay bawling my eyes out in my bed late at night, the Holy Spirit reminded me why I am in this fight. Why I do, what I do. Why I get so involved in the messy lives of people. Why i care so much. Why i give so much time. Why I must endure.

Jesus. I saw Him carrying His cross. Sweating and bleeding. Bent over. Weary. Broken. Overwhelmed. I saw Him on the cross. Asking God why He has forsaken Him. I saw Him in the garden praying before all of this, asking the Father to take this cup away from Him. I saw the whips beating Him. The sodiers insulting Him. I saw the crowds mocking Him. I saw what looked like utter hopelessness.

But what I also saw.....was Love. Love, that perseveres. Love, that protects. Love, that knows what He is doing. Love, that knows His purpose. Love, that carried the weight of the whole world. The weight of the ENTIRE human race...past, present and future. Love, that see's the victory and knows what is ahead. Love, that is not proud. Love, that keeps no record of wrongs. 

Jesus veiled His glory, came to earth as a baby, grew up as a child, became a man, ministered to His people, became involved in millions of people's lives, and eventually died the most horrific death....and then AROSE from the dead, because.....LOVE.

I pray LORD, that Your love may grow deeper in me. That I may have more of a capacity to understand it, to feel it, to be motivated by it, and to live it.

It Is Well...

I am forgetful when I am weary.

But deep down, there is this whisper in the depths of my heart that I know, that I know...this is what I am created for.

I'm no expert in leading worship.

I have no desire to be on stage. To be center stage. To have people watching me, following me, listening to me. To even lead people. But I do desire to worship and honor God.

May we love God enough, to do not what we want to do, but to do what He has created for us to do. I know what that is for me. I cannot explain it. All that I know, is that my whole being comes alive when I am worshipping as a part of a team who's goal is to exalt our God.

Recently, I have taken a little over a month off of being on the worship team at my church. I was burned out and in a dry season spiritually. Last week was my first week back, and I was quite nervous. I felt a bit like a stranger, even though it had only been a month. I wondered if I would be welcomed, if I would have an attack that has become normal, if worship would still seem dry to me. 

Well, it's amazing what God does in such a short period of time, with a little rest.

For the first time in about 2 years, I felt the most calm that I can ever remember. 

I barelly sang, but I didn't even need to. When I can hear the people of God's bride singing..that is enough for my heart to explode in adoration of God. My worship is so enriched by being able to see and hear the bride of Christ worship their Creator. I also actually enjoyed playing keys, for the first time in a really long time. 

I felt revived.

Tonight I was practicing for Sunday, prepping to lead and I can't remember the last time I have been this excited to worship. To worship alongside brothers and sisters who are madly in love with Christ.

I still woud prefer not to be on stage. But...

God has done a great work in my heart over the past few years within worship. He has taught me a lot, and challenged my attitude a lot. I've wanted to quit often, but every time, I just couldn't. Everytime, I learn something deeper, and am taken deeper in my relationship with God.

I believe that all this time, God has been showing me the preciousness of obedience. This takes time, this takes suffering, it takes perseverence, and it takes being obedient (obviously). The more we practice obedience, the more natural it becomes. When we walk in obedience, there is contentment and satisfaction in our Savior, and in what He is asking us to do. There is not a need to do what we desire, but a need to do what the One who loves us desires. This is worship. This is walking with Christ. This is love.

So don't lose heart. have rest. be faithful. be patient.

The LORD is your Shepherd.

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12

(During my 'rest,' I fell in love and took great encouragement in this song by bethel...http://youtu.be/hkJlIP22LH4 )

Satisfy me Lord

Satisfy- to fulfill the desires, expectations, NEEDS...; to put an end to (desire, want, need) by sufficient or ample provision.

Until the other day, I hadn't really thought about a new year.

 It's winter outside...and if I am being honest, it feels like winter in my heart as well. I don't really have much to say, just that I know, and I believe that Christ satisfies our every longing. My every need, my every longing, my every desire and want, He is there. He knows them. He see's them and He provides upon need. He satisfies.

I know as long as I am on this earth, in this human body, there will always seem to be something missing, a void. But I also believe, that God is greater than that void, that feeling, and that He can fill it. So i guess the cry of my heart this year, this winter season, and all future seasons, is that Jesus will satisfy me. Not with what I am expecting, but with His will, His greater plans and desires for me. That my satisfaction will be found in Christ and Christ alone. That my vision will not be blurred, that my doubts will not prevail, that I will obey and heed His call, that I will follow wherever the Spirit takes me, day to day. I can be satisfied. I will be satisfied, in Jesus Christ, my LORD. my Savior. my Redeemer. my Friend.

My part...to believe. To seek God, earnestly. To pray, to be faithful.

My prayer: to be joyful in winter and in the journey. No matter how tired or worn or frustrated I am. God is worth every tear, every drop of sweat, every sore muscle, every headache, every  touch of pain, every piece of effort....He is worth everything.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

James 1:2-4

"Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood." Hebrews 12:3-4